Lava | Ninjago

🜂 | dancing fire, guitar player

Kai groaned and hid his face in his palms. "But how do I know?"

"You don't." If he wouldn't have hated himself afterwards, Kai would punch Cole in the face. "Emotions are super messy because it's mostly just chemicals going... bonkers in your brain." That made the master of fire chuckle. He loved how the word 'bonkers' rolled off his companion's tongue. "It's like going through a jungle without a map. But the thing is, the more you go through it, the more you learn to recognize it. You liked Skylor, didn't you? Maybe you could try comparing those feelings."

"You sound like Zane."

"We did talk about something like this a few times... Is Zane contagious?" Kai burst into a fit of giggles. He laughed so much, he couldn't hide his face anymore, because his hands were blocking the fresh air. It wasn't probably even that funny but he still couldn't help himself. Wiping tears away, Kai muttered, "Jesus, Cole," only to continue laughing. However, his cheerful mood died down faster than a fire could.

"I can't do it," he peeped.

"What do you mean?"

"They don't compare."

"Then it's easy, no? I mean you should have an obvious winner."

"I dunno, Cole, I'm confused." Cole watched Kai look down, the spark in his eyes dimming despite the light near being bright. Would it be bad if he thought he hated the sight? Kai bit his lip from the inside.

"People are different," said Cole after a deep breath, staring at Kai, "so I'm not sure how much of help this might be but..." Red looked up and Cole watched the little flames dance. "They make me feel so many things at the same time, I can't believe it's even possible. Every day I marvel at every detail about them. They're one big mosaic – there are cracks I sometimes wish I could repair but they make the result beautiful in its own way. They make me laugh, no matter what they do, they always find a way to make me smile. With them, I feel so... safe. I know we're there for each other. And I mean, I know you're all there for me but... it's as if we have our own secret deal. It feels way closer.

"I don't even know when it started anymore. They amaze me with every new thing I discover. they're the most caring and the most selfless person I've ever met, even if it didn't seem like it much at first. They would give their life for everyone else and all I can do is wish they could see I would do the same.

"We touch and I can't even explain how energized I feel. It's ridiculous, I know, it sounds so dumb but whenever I feel them it just... the feeling consumes me. And I always want more. I have to hold myself back.

"I'm scared I'm being too possessive, maybe I'm being too much and I'm worried if anyone ever catches on but I just want them all for myself. Maybe because they don't see me that way, maybe because I want to show them, but I just really, I really want to be the only person in their eyes, you know? I want us to be in a room full of people and I want them to see me and only me because that's how I see them.

"They're the brightest star. No, even the Moon and the Sun. They're just... They're my only thought before I go to sleep and they're my first thought when I wake up. They are on my mind all the time, I'm worried it might affect my work but they also make the worries go away. Every time I doubt myself, all they have to do is give me a smile and I know everything's gonna be fine. I know that as long as we are there next to each other, I always have something that keeps me going.

"I love our entire team, our little family we built. But they... they really take the cake. Sometimes literally." With a chuckle, Cole's speech was at its end. The earth ninja didn't even realise how long he's been talking. The only thing he saw was fire, dancing its way through his clouded mind. He almost forgot about the guitar his arms were resting on.

Kai stared at Black's profile, one of his hands supporting his head. He got lost in the words. They felt... so strangely familiar, so full of passion. It was captivating, watching Cole get lost in his own thoughts and feelings. He has never seen him speak like that. With so much adoration, so much focus, he has never seen him speak so much without stopping. And Cole didn't seem to realise it, otherwise, he would've stopped himself by the second sentence.

The fire ninja wanted to listen to him talk like this more often. It was such a rare sight but he got so lost in it. It was like walking through a museum, except the artefacts were Cole's words of affection addressed to an unknown person.

Oh, how much Kai wished to be on the other end of those feelings. He wanted those words only for himself, he wanted Cole to also see him like that. He wanted all that love for himself.

In the campfire's light, Cole was glowing like a tiny sun. Sun, Kai could orbit around for the remains of his existence without any complaints. After all, it would be just them two, spinning like dancers in a void full of tiny lights, spectating their dance.

He watched the unruly strands of hair fall into his face, almost blocking Kai's view of Cole's eyes that seemed so lost in another world. Did people look like this when they were dreaming?

Kai swallowed, feeling his chest loosening. Cole has never looked more beautiful in his life. He was so glad everyone else was long asleep. This was their moment and their only.

So what if Cole liked Jay, he had the memory of Cole watching the fire dance for them two, looking mesmerized by a mysterious person and he could always imagine those words belonged to him.

So what, if the brightest star wasn't shining for him, he could always watch and pretend, lie to himself and falsely hope.

The star twinkled in his direction.

"It's stupid, right? No one probably feels like that. Let's say I was overexaggerating."

Kai was fast to shake his head, his eyes glued to the dreamed face. "It's not stupid."

No... No, it's exactly like that. To the word and to the letter.