Sex & Drugs & Dungeons & Dragons

A7: Crystal Ball

When Cobi came home his Dad was watching the same Cubs game that was on the TV at Pizza Hut. Tall like Cobi but with deep wrinkles and a gray-speckled beard, Cobi's father had a legal pad in his lap and was taking notes. "Have fun kiddo?" he asked as Cobi walked past him toward the kitchen.

"Yeah my character got poisoned but it was all good in the end."

"Glad to hear it," Cobi's father replied, obviously not really listening. He was distracted by a strike-out.

Cobi popped the tab off a can of coke and wandered back to the den. A workspace shared by the whole family, it was cluttered with art supplies and half-finished drawings. A charcoal sketch of a woman's face lay abandoned on a table. "That Mom?" Cobi asked.

Cobi's father nodded. "Your sister is drawing it from an old photograph."

"She's pretty," Cobi observed.

"She was at that." Cobi's father glanced over his shoulder at the drawing. "I think your sister's doing a pretty good job."

Cobi nodded. "She's annoying but she's a good artist." Then he looked over at the TV. "Are the Cubs winning?"

Cobi's father grunted. "Of course not. Giants are ahead 4-nothing. And don't call your sister annoying."

Cobi chuckled. "Well at least the Bears are good. I'm heading to bed."

"Sure thing, kiddo."

Cobi descended his stairs to the basement. Unlike his friends, Cobi's modest duplex lacked an extra bedroom, so instead of sharing with his sister he decided to move downstairs. He and his father had converted it into a comfortable bedroom, having carpeted over the concrete floor. Floor-to-ceiling pipes disrupted the living space, and the low ceiling made the room slightly claustrophobic.

Cobi sat down at his desk and casually turned on his Commodore 64 personal computer. He waited patiently for the boot sequence to complete before typing a quick series of commands.

Cobi leaned back as the computer's modem buzzed and clicked. He sipped his cola as he eyed the Commodore's monitor. Suddenly it came to life, displaying a series of ASCII letters that were cleverly arranged to portray a primitive image of a dragon. Under the dragon were the words:

"One Dragon...One King...One very annoying Talking Sword...Welcome to MUDII, the latest incarnation of the world's very first Multi-User Dungeon! You haven't lived until you've died in MUDII!"

Cobi leaned forward to begin an all-night marathon of text-only, massively multiplayer online dungeon play by logging into the game as "Lonewolf McCain." But before his user name was recognized the Commodore froze. Cobi immediately recognized the problem and yanked the telephone receiver off of the computer modem. "God-dammit Sarah I'm using the phone!"

"Well so am I!" came the electronic voice of his sister crackling through the receiver. "And at least I'm doing something useful.'
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"I'm calling Jenny so we can coordinate our outfits tomorrow."

"How is that even remotely useful?"

"Seventeen says it's important to establish your fashion sense as early as possible."

"Oh my God Seventeen is so stupid!" Cobi cried out in despair.

"It's not as stupid as playing Dungeons & Dragons all night with a bunch of pervy computer nerds!"

"It's not Dungeons & Dragons," Cobi defended himself, "it's an online MUD—"

"Whatever," Cobi could practically feel his sister rolling her eyes. "Just because you're a social pariah doesn't mean I have to be one. Let me call Jenny and you can play your stupid game when we're done."

"Fine!" Cobi slammed the phone down in anger. He stared at the computer for a moment and then yanked the power cord out of the wall in frustration. The glow from his monitor faded to a single dot that then disappeared, plunging the room into darkness.