Ciara had not moved from her bed since she climbed under the covers upon returning home in a flurry of tears. Whenever her Mammy would enter the room unprovoked, Ciara would either just stare at the wall or cover herself with her blanket. She had not uttered a word, nor explained the reason for her funk. She hadn't eaten either but didn't care for the repercussions it would cause with Dr Rosa.
She used her weak feeling arms to sit herself up so she could turn over the record that had been repeatedly playing since she had woken up that morning because she didn't have the energy to walk over to her store to choose another. Pink Floyd softly filled the room, giving her something else to focus on rather than the multitudes of thoughts swimming in her head.
As she popped a mint from her nightstand into her mouth, needing the sugar for a moment, she heard the door go and didn't bother to move a muscle. She heard her Mammy answer the door and the brief conversation before the door was shut again, Chip supposed it was a cold caller or something based on her Mam's tone of voice.
A knock came again, this time on her own bedroom door. She hadn't heard her Mam walk up the stairs but just assumed it was her and covered herself with the blankets once again. "Chip?" a deeper voice than she had been expecting followed the knocking this time. She froze and frowned, lifting the blankets from her head after a seconds processing time. Slowly, she climbed out of bed and, after spraying the nearest perfume all over herself, opened the door reluctantly. And there stood James with an apologetic smile and an apology bunch of flowers in one hand.
The same thick tension as before momentarily flashed between the both of them before he stammered. "I'm sorry, I... I wasn't thinking clearly and I was just so happy to see her and everything but then she was talking and everything just...I'm sorry I didn't realise it sooner... I was being a dick and I... I mean I... I need... I need you too Chip." He sighed deeply as the words falling from his mouth had stolen all his oxygen. Chip, who had been patiently hanging onto every word, smiled softly before she let go of the door handle and wrapped both her arms around his torso in the tightest of hugs imaginable. He chuckled softly out of relief then wrapped one arm around her, given that the other hand had the flowers and they both were just still. Still but for breath and their racing thoughts.
"I'm sorry too, what I said wasn't fair," she apologised half into his shoulder, sighing deeply.
"I don't think so," he paused as they both reluctantly pulled away from the hug, still standing rather close together though. "I needed to hear it," he continued while passing her the bouquet of flowers, which stole her attention away for just a few moments. They were a particularly beautiful bunch and she couldn't wait to display them in her bedroom until they dried out and could hang from the wall like her bouquet of flowers she had received from Cal as a birthday present a few years ago.
"I know," she shrugged, a great grin pulling at her cheeks so intensely that she could not make it, or the soreness it caused, go away.
"Yeah yeah," he jokingly rolled his eyes and looked away but not before she could notice the blush coating the tops of his cheeks in a delightful shade of pink.
-
Ciara, as persuaded by Michelle, held a party at her home the following day as Chip's Ma had gone to see her sister. Ciara had only been permitted to stay because she had a therapy appointment and by the promise that she would stick to her meal plan, which she was - mostly. The party which consisted of just their friend group, was in full swing the second the group all walked through her front door.
They had music blaring throughout the house and the group, in various states of intoxication, danced joyfully to the music without care because they were just incredibly comfortable. Chip decided not to drink, thinking it would be far too triggering for her right now and she for once wanted to listen to her body's thoughts - instead of just wanting the numbness that came with the drink.
So while everyone else was having an absolutely grand time without care whilst downing various spirts, she was tasked with making sure no one did anything stupid. Which was difficult in Michelle's case, as she kept running to the phone in want of a phone call from her newest romantic interest (who was apparently a massive massive ride.) For everyone else it was pretty easy and she managed well enough, only her sofa happened to have quite the spill on it.
As multides of bodies slept around her, all strewn out onto air mattresses or just the floor in a blanket cocoon in Orla's case, Ciara silently cleaned up various bottles and disposed of cans. She wasn't tired yet so just decided to get a jump on the cleaning that would be awaiting her the next morning. She switched off the tv that was playing some re-run of a show that they were all incredibly interested in moments before falling asleep. And she struggled not to laugh as Michelle started to snore softly in the corner of the room, cuddled up on an armchair.
"Chip?" James' muttering came from beside where she stood as she tried to pull the curtain to a close, not wanting the morning sun to wake them all up too early. She turned and found him staring back at her, eyes still hanging heavy with sleep and a distant glaze of drunkenness.
"James go to sleep," she whispered, watching as he struggled to pull the blanket from the back of the sofa over him. She sighed softly and let go of the curtain, tugging the blanket off the back before she draped it over him.
"No."
"Why not?" she laughed quietly as she sat on the floor next to the sofa that he lay on, moving so they were pretty much face to face.
"I want to go in a hot air balloon," he replied groggily, sleep hanging heavy in his voice.
"Right now?" she chuckled as he hummed sleepily in agreement, the sound went straight to her stomach. "Well I don't think there's any in Derry."
"Can you look?"
"Look where?"
He attempted to throw his hands up but they were caught beneath the blanket, "I don't know, books?"
She muffled her laughter with her jumpers sleeve, not wanting to wake anyone else up. "Okay okay I'll look. If you go to sleep," she whispered back, quickly noticing how his eyes slowly started to close.
"Deal," he responded softly, voice heavy with sleep, moments before he fell into unconsciousness again.
An hour later, Ciara finally climbed into her own bed and was just about to close her eyes when her gaze fell onto a particular picture on her wall - the one photo taken of them all at the prom before the incident with the red paint. She had received the picture for christmas and it instantly found itself being tacked to the wall. The longer she started at it the more she realised that this was the very first photo she could honestly look at and consider herself to be pretty. She didn't want to tear it off the wall, she didn't urge to burn it as she did the others. This one gave her such an odd surge of joy that only increased the longer she started at it. She fell to sleep with the smallest of smiles on her face and her sleep went interrupted by nightmares, for the first time since she had first skipped a meal.
YOU ARE READING
Basorexia - J.MAGUIRE
Fanfiction(𝐍) 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝒾𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ CIARA [CHIP] BYRNE - had quite a lot going on in her life tha...
