Forever & Always (Forever & Always #1) (boyxboy)

Jesse's Fifteenth Birthday

He always was untidy. It's funny that I even love that about him.

My clothes were hanging up in the wardrobe neatly. His laptop was thrown on a chair that I had bought online, in the corner. His posters were on a couple of the walls. Most of them bands or athletes. 

A mural hung on the side wall. Pictures of me and Noah over the years were pinned to a notice board. There was also a few sentimental trinkets of out time together. A small toy angel was pinned to the top of the board.

All those times we spent together and we never get bored. It's definitely love.

I closed my eyes and remembered the good times we had together. Noah was at school and I was given some time off, to adjust to everything. It was easier said than done. Andrea's funeral was scheduled for the following Thursday and no one was sure whether I would attend or not.

Laughing to myself I moved to the floor length mirror. I started at myself. Looking at myself was still strange for me. I couldn't point out what Noah found attractive in me. To myself anyway I was nothing to look at.

Shaggy blond hair that reached my chin and baby blue eyes that looked like the sky on a warm summer day. They were nothing special or unusual. Well, maybe my eyes were lighter than most shades of blue eyes.

My face was rounder than it once was. It had changed a lot since my heart attack. It had gotten thin, but it was not plumper. I had been eating a lot more than normal. And, more regularly.

My body was still pretty thin. My arms and legs were thin and my stomach was flat. I didn't have a six pack like Noah, but my body was starting to fill out a bit more than before. I finally looked more mannish, instead of boyish.

Lifting the t-shirt over my head I saw pale skin appearing from under the piece of clothing. A large scar ran from my right nipple to the top of my neck. Where the transplant had taken place was a scar right across my chest.

A few smaller scars were scattered along my body. A few of them on my stomach and one rather large one where they had removed my spleen. Some of the scars were covered by slightly off coloured skin. I guess some of the bruises had remained. Even just slightly.

What does Noah see when he looks at me? Does he really see a handsome, beautiful person like he tells me. I'm not that much to look at. Maybe I am though. I fit look of the “girls” he used to describe when we were kids. Blond hair, blue eyes. I guess I am what he wants after all.

I smiled at the mirror. The person there smiled back and I felt my heart pound ever so slightly. I didn't hate the boy that was looking back at me. For so many years I had always felt disgusted at the person who looked me in the eye.

“I am a beautiful person. Not ugly, not disgusting. I am a person who is worth more than he was given as a child.” I whispered to myself in the mirror.

For a while I just looked into the eyes that were in front of me. The eyes that Noah looked into every day and smiled into. I smiled into them too. Something had happened to me and I wasn't sure what. But I knew I was a good person. I was a person who deserved to be loved like any other person.

I turned around and looked at the room again. Something felt peaceful about this room. There was nothing left to hurt me. Andrea and Nathan were dead. I had a small group of friends and an incredible boyfriend who loved me.

I had three parents who loved me. Even if one of them was afraid of that fact it was no less true. I loved all four of my parents. Even the one who hated me, who had tried to get rid of me. I loved her because I was a good person.