Cigarette And Lavender || Salvis || Sally Face ||

2

! TW !
Drug use, mentions of eating disorder

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Unsaved number

?: yeah I'll meet you there in an hour

Ok sounds good
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I turn my phone off, and lay in silence. I could listen to music, but I dont feel like listening to the same hymns I have to listen to every day.

I have nothing to do until it's time for me to meet him down the road.

I need to go to the bathroom, to check out my nose, and see if its doing any better. It's been about 3 or 4 days since he broke my nose. I haven't been to the hospital, but I know it's broken. I've had a broken nose before, And I know how it feels.

It's been bleeding on and off, but theres no use in going to the hospital. They'll just send me back at some point anyway, then I'll get an even worse punishment.

I stare at my wall for a moment, looking at the wooden cross hung on it. One of the only things my mother left for me. Along with a rosary, and a letter.

I havent read the letter. It says not to until I'm 18. I'm turning 18 in 7 months. Yes I've been counting. I already have it planned out, I'm going to wait until hes asleep on that night and pack my things and leave, I'm going to try and find my mother again.

I dont remember my mother much but theres still a few memories that I have.

I remember she was kind and caring, always putting others before herself. She also made the best food, now I'm just stuck with oatmeal because that's all I know how to make. She had dark hair, like mine. My dad has made me bleach it, ever since she left. I hate it, I hate that it doesnt look good on me, I hate how it turns yellow, instead of blonde. I like my natural colour better.

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Flashback
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I let out a loud obnoxious cough. I had been playing in the snow with phillip yesterday. I have a cold now.

My mom walks into the room with a bowl.

"Sit up dear"

She says moving a piece of my hair behind my ear.

Once I sit up she hands me the bowl, it has my favourite in it. Her homemade chicken noodle soup. She only ever makes it when I'm sick.

I slowly raised the spoon and took a bite

She put her hand on my head and started to play with strands of my hair.

I looked up at her and gave her a toothy grin

"I'll love you forever dear"

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Flashback over
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I felt tears prick in the corners of my eyes. I miss my mother alot. I try not to dwell on it too much these days because it just makes me sad, but I cant help but think of her every once and a while.

I look down when I hear a buzz come from my phone

I'm here

Oh shit I completely forgot that I was supposed to meet him there.

I hurried and put my shoes on. I climbed out my window making sure to be as quiet as possible.

~~~

Once I get to my house, I climb the tree next to my window, and slowly open it as to be quiet, so my father doesn't hear me.

Once I get inside I slide off my shoes, and put them by the door. Father would be mad if I left them in the middle of the floor.

I walk over to my desk, and slowly slide out the chair, hearing slow sound of the wooden chair scrape against the floor.

I sit down, and pull the plastic bag from its place in my pocket. I lay it on the desk, and stare at it. I internally argue myself.

You cant do this, you've been completely sober for 6 months.

Then why'd you buy it?

I sigh. I told myself I wasn't going to do this again, I was trying to get sober. It had been 6 months yesterday.

Sometimes I self sabotage, and I dont really mean to.
I open the bag and pour some of it on the desk. I use my phone to make a clean line.

I lean down, and snort it.

Sals pov

"I'll see you Tomorrow" I yell into Larry's door, before closing it. I turn around and stare at the elevator for a moment.
I really didnt want to walk over there, considering I was seeing dots in my vision, from not eating in 3 days.

When I eventually make it back to my apartment, I unlock the door, and walk in.

I make it to my room and collapse onto my bed, not even bothering to take off my mask. I lay there for a while. Unable to move and not falling asleep. I thought I would fall asleep immediately, I'm really tired.

But I guess not?

Just sit up.

You need to feed gizmo.

You need to take of your prosthetic.

JUST DO IT!

~~~

I wake up on the floor.

How the fuck did I get here?

I cant even remember how I got on the floor. I sit up, immediately feeling pain shoot through my head.

"Shit"

I immediately stand up and lay down in my bed.

Why are you like this?

You'll never be anything but lazy and selfish.

That's the reason shes dead

Your the reason shes dead.

Hi I really hope you are liking it so far, as you can tell I'm not the greatest writer, anyways 🙄, have a good day remember to take any meds prescribed to u, drink water, and eat ♡♡

Btw I was stoned while writing half of this so it might be a bit sloppy