"You're so annoying." I laughed as we walked into her house.
"I know but you love me." She stuck her tongue out at me and ran up the stairs to her room.
I followed. God, if she only knew that I did love her. I loved everything about that girl. Her heart, her soul, her amazing personality. Her gorgeous body was just a bonus. It nearly broke my heart knowing she didn't feel the same way. You know, her being straight and all. Yes, I'm gay. And yes, she knows. We know everything about each other.
She flopped down on her bed and I sat on the edge, twiddling with my thumbs.
"Thanks for uh, letting me stay here tonight." I said, almost shy.
She scooted closer to me and rested her hand on my thigh. "Hey, you're always welcome here. My door is always open." She smiled reassuringly. "And remember, if you ever want to talk, I'm an epic listener." She grinned.
"Thanks, but not tonight." I mumbled hoping she wouldn't notice my slight blush.
She nodded her head.
You see, my parents are going through a little bit of a rough patch in their relationship. Okay, maybe more than a little bit. They pretty much just shouted at each other now, sometimes they even threw things. I liked to stay out of the house most of the time. It was just easier this way.
I was distracted with thoughts of my family that I hadn't noticed she had never moved her hand. She seemed to notice the same time I did and quickly pulled her hand away. Too quickly for my liking.
"Sorry."
I shrugged, trying to play it off as 'whatever'.
"So..."
And the silence went on. In the fifteen years I have known this girl, there has not once been an awkward silence. Shit. This is my fault. Its okay. Okay. We just need something to talk about, right? I can do that.
"I told them." It came out in a rush but it got her attention.
"You told your parents?" She knew what I was talking about. Of course she did.
"Yeah. I thought that maybe it would distract them from their fighting. You know?"
"What did they say?" She moved so she was sitting crossed-legged next to me, facing me.
"Well, my dad told me to shut up and said he didn't have time to worry about my life confusions. I tried to explain that I wasn't confused about anything. I think he was drunk again and that's why they were fighting this time. They told me to get out of the house for a little while, whatever that means."
She didn't say anything. She just leaned over and hugged me. I blinked repeatedly not wanting to cry in front of her.
"I just make everything worse." I said hating that my voice cracked a little bit.
She pulled back and held both of my shoulders, making me face her. "Hey, don't say that. You do not make things worse, okay? Never say that again or I might just have to kick your ass." She smiled brightly at me and I almost laughed silently. "In fact, you make everything better, Lauren. Remember when I sprained my ankle last year? Everyone was like 'aw, feel better' and they all made me feel like I was crippled. Not you though. You just said 'geez, you were a terrible dancer before, this is so not going to help your reputation' and made fun of how slow I was. While everyone else made me feel weak you made me feel like nothing was wrong. Oh, and remember when Splash died? You had a funeral for him and everything."
"Well, you did love that fish." I interrupted shyly.
She smiled. "Yes, I did. And when Jake McKenzie tried to shove his tongue down my throat, you totally beat the shit out of him."
I chuckled nervously. He had it coming. That guy was a total jackass. And maybe I did like her even back then and probably would have beat him up whether he was a jerk or not.
"Anyway.." She continued. "The point is, you're amazing, okay? And if your parents make you feel any different than they're not worthy of a perfect daughter like you."
I don't know what happened.
Well, of course I knew what happened but I mean I didn't want to do that.
Well, I did want to, but I didn't mean to. It just happened. I fucking kissed her.
I jumped off the bed and I'm sure my face was bright red.
"I-I'm s-s." I couldn't even speak. I was mortified, horrified, yet elated.
I kissed her. I actually kissed her. Though the feeling didn't last. Her stunned face and silence spoke a million words and I started backing out of the room. I tried to apologize again but I was tongue tied and I spun around to run out but accidentally knocked a picture of us off her desk and onto the floor. 'Well there's some foreshadowing for you. The end of our friendship alright' I thought as I ran out of that room, out of that house.
I didn't stop running until I reached the small park in our neighborhood. It was empty considering it was almost 10 at night and most kids were probably tucked in bed. I walked over to the swing set and sat down, swaying back and forth. Crap, it was freezing out. I should have grabbed my jacket in that embarrasing attempt to leave.
I cupped my hands around my mouth and blew warm air into them and hugged myself in attempt to warm my arms also. It wasn't until then that a tear finally slithered down my cheek and I let myself cry. Fuck I let myself sob. Why did I have to do that? God, I do make things worse. Not only did I ruin any possible chance of maybe being with her, I just threw away the best friendship I'd ever had. What the hell do I do now?
I shoved my hands into my pockets and let out a sigh, the air in front of me momentarily a foggy light grey. I sure as hell couldn't go back there and I was not about to go home. I didn't have any other friends either.
I was so caught up in my thoughts I guess I didn't hear the light crunching of leaves as someone walked into the park. I didn't know they were there until they pulled me off the swing. With my hands in my pockets, I didn't have the best balance and stumbled forward, crashing into her.
She held me up and didn't even let go when I regained my balance, which was fine with me.
I looked up at her. "Camila, I" was as far as I got before her lips crashed against mine.
Though I was thoroughly confused, I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her beck and kiss back. Her hands were on my waist, pulling me closer if even possible.
It was amazing. I don't care if it sounds cliche or whatever but it was like how the books say; I saw fireworks. It was like just the two of us existed.
It seemed like forever before we pulled away for air.
She touched her forehead against mine and smiled. "You ran away before I could react."
"I- I thought you were straight." I stumbled over my words, breathless and still pleasantly shocked.
She grinned. "So did I."
