I'm sorry, Y/N

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TW: Torture and mention of blood

I just got back into my room after a long day, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to see Mattheo standing there. 'Y/N, we need to talk.' He said. I looked at him and I knew something happened to him. He had a cut on his nose that had been bleeding not too long ago. 'What happened to your nose?' I asked while taking a step closer to observe the cut. 'It's nothing. But, I need to talk to you.' I didn't believe that it was nothing, but he wasn't going to talk about it right now. So, all I could do was hear him out about what he did want to talk about. 'What do you need to talk about?' 'I know what my father did to you.' I fell quiet. How did he find out? I knew he would find out eventually, but how did he find it out so quickly? We only had our talk yesterday and now he already knows? And if he knows, did he go to his father? I hope not. 'How... That doesn't actually matter right now... Mattheo... Please... Please tell me you didn't go to your father.' He stayed quiet. 'Mattheo, please tell me that.' I started to get desperate for him not to have gone to his father. But, by the way he stayed silent, I already knew what the answer would be. 'I can't tell you that, Y/N.' No... 'What did you say to him, Mattheo?' 'I just asked him why he hurt you. Why he had to scare you away from me. Why he felt the need to take away the one person I cared about the most.' Eventhough I was scared of him going to his father, it also felt a bit nice to hear him say he cared about me. Wait... if he went to his father to ask about me... did his father do that to his nose? Did he hurt Mattheo? 'Did your father do that to your nose?' I asked him, hoping that he would say no. Hoping that he would say he just tripped or something. 'Yes.' 'This is why I didn't want you to know, Mattheo. He hurt you. I was so scared of this happening and now it did, because of me.' 'I'm okay, Y/N. It's just a tiny cut. It will heal in a couple of days.' 'I'm sorry Mattheo.' 'It's not your fault.' 'It feels like it is.' 'No, it's not. I went to him. I tried to hurt him first, when he...' 'When he did what, Mattheo?' 'When he threatened to hurt you again.' Why would he hurt me again? I stayed away. He doesn't even know I'm here, right? 'Mattheo, did you tell him that I'm here? That I go to Hogwarts?' 'I didn't, but he figured it out.' 'Please tell me you're kidding.' I was begging him to tell me this was a joke and Voldemort didn't know I was here. This couldn't be happening again. I was so careful all those years and now it's going to be for nothing. All the hurt is going to be for nothing. 'I'm sorry, Y/N. But, it will be fine. He's going to stay away from you as long as we stay away from eachother. And eventhough it'll hurt like hell to stay away from you, it is the only way to keep you safe.' 'Are you sure that is all it takes, Mattheo?' 'Yes. I won't let him hurt you, okay?' 'Okay.' Mattheo gave me one last hug, before leaving my room. Just like Mattheo said, this will hurt like hell, but it will also be the only way to keep both of us safe. So, from now on we have to stay away from eachother once again. 

After Mattheo left, I went to bed and the next morning I didn't really want to get ready for class, but I had to. I got into my robes and walked over to the Great Hall to eat some breakfast before class. When I got there, I saw Pansy sitting at the table together with Theo, Draco and Blaise. I sat down next to Pansy and didn't say anything to them. 'Goodmorning, Y/N.' Theo said. 'Morning.' I said back quietly. 'What's wrong with you?' Draco asked me. 'Nothing.' I said curt. 'Someone's in a bad mood.' Draco said underneath his breath. 'What did you say?!' I asked him gruff. 'Oh nothing.' He responded back. I looked at him mad while grabbing some toast to eat. I had just started eating, when Mattheo walked into the Great Hall. He stopped on the other side of the table, looked at me and sat down without saying anything. 'Why are you both in such a bad mood this morning.' Theo said, because he wanted to die apparentely. But, sadly that didn't happen, because Mattheo and I both said at the same time: 'It's nothing!' I couldn't sit here and eat my breakfast with Mattheo sitting opposite me, so I stood up and left. I went back to my dorm to grab my books, before heading to class. During my classes I tried to sit on the other side of the room from Mattheo. We kept looking at eachother with sadness in our eyes before trying to focus on what the teachers were saying. But, neither of us could focus on what was being taught. 

The next couple of days Mattheo and I were both immensely distracted from our classes and our homework. We were both hurting and everyone could see it. I was laying in bed trying not to think about the whole situation and trying to sleep, when I heard some noice at the window. I ignored it at first, but it started to get louder and louder. I sat up in my bed and before I could look at the window, someone put a bag over my head. I tried to kick them off and to grab my wand from my nightstand, but I couldn't reach it. I heard Pansy screaming to let me go just before everything went dark. 

When I opened my eyes, I was back there. I was back in the room where Voldemort tortured me when I was younger. In the corner stood Bellatrix Lestrange. I never met her, but I saw her in the news papers and Mattheo told me about her when we were kids. She didn't say anything, she just started laughing at me. It was kinda weird and a little bit scary. After about two minutes, Voldemort walked in and told Bellatrix to leave. She walked out and Voldemort walked towards me. I was tied to a chair and Voldemort scraped his wand alongside my cheek and put it underneath my chin. 'Such a shame to have you back here, Y/N.' He said. 'Why am I back here? I stayed away from Mattheo. We did what you wanted!' 'Quiet foolish girl.' I kept my mouth shut instantly. 'You are back here, because you keep on distracting Mattheo.' 'I'm not doing it on purpose. We're both hurting, because you told us to stay away from eachother. We're doing just that and that he's distracted is because he's hurting.' 'Love is making him weak.' 'No, love makes people stronger. Hurting someone makes them weak.' 'You don't know what you're talking about, Y/N. Every time Mattheo got hurt he became stronger, so this won't be any different. Unless you keep distracting him. And since you kept on doing that, I need to show you the consequences once again. Crucio!' I felt excruciating pain fill me body until I couldn't breath anymore. 'P... Please.' Is all I could say. Voldemort stopped after five minutes, to then perform the Sectumsempra spell on me. I started bleeding all over my body, before he healed it and redid the whole thing a couple more times. After two hours of torturing, he finally stopped. 'Now, I'm going to let you go and I want you to leave here and leave Hogwarts. I want you to never come back. If you do, I will know that it really doesn't work to hurt you and I will then take my anger out on Mattheo. So, be carefull with what you choose.' 'Okay.' Voldemort untied my arms and let me go. I ran up the stairs and out of the house. I didn't know what to do. I had nowhere to go in this country. The only option I have is going back to France. I still have some friends there, that I might be able to stay with. I grabbed one of Mattheo's spare brooms out of the backyard and to France I went. 

After a long while of flying I finally reached Fleur Delacours house. Fleur was someone I went to school with at Beauxbatons. She was a couple years older than me, but she took me under her wing when I got to Beauxbatons. She was like a big sister to me, when I didn't have Pansy to talk to as often anymore. I got of my broom and walked over to the house. I was exhausted because of the torture and I was still bleeding a bit in some places, so when I knocked on the door I couldn't stay awake long enough to wait for her to open the door. I fainted in front of her door and woke up about an hour later on the couch. 'Y/N?' 'Hi, Fleur.' 'What the hell happened?!' 'I had a less than friendly encouter with an old "friend".' 'What do you mean?!' 'Do you remember me telling you about Mattheo?' 'Yes.' 'Well, I saw him again. We go to school together at Hogwarts and his father was not best pleased.' 'You-know-who did this to you?!' 'Yes.' 'Geez, Y/N. Are you okay?' 'I will be. But, I wanted to ask you if I can stay here for a little while, till I figure out what to do next.' 'Ofcourse. You're always welcome here, Y/N.' 'Thank you, Fleur. Will Bill not mind?' Bill Weasley, the older brother of Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny, was Fleurs husband. I didn't really know him as well as Fleur, but I had met him a couple times and he has always been nice to me. 'No, ofcourse not.' 'Okay, good. Is it okay, if I close my eyes for a little bit, Fleur? I'm exhausted.' 'Ofcourse. Get some rest.' I fell asleep and slept for about an hour, before I woke up to the realisation, that nobody back home knows that I'm okay. 'Fleur?!' 'Yes, Y/N? Is everything okay?' 'Yes, but do you have some paper and a quill?' 'Yeah, I'll go grab it for you.' Fleur came back with the paper and the quill and I started writing a letter to Pansy telling her that I am safe and where I am, so she knows how to reach me. I also wrote to her, that she cannot tell Mattheo where I am, because otherwise he will come here and he needs to stay as far away as possible. After finishing the letter I send it to Pansy and went down to the kitchen. I hadn't eaten anything in about a day, so I was starving. I grabbed some cereal and some juice and tried to just take some deep breaths, before trying to figure out, what I'm going to do next, because I can't stay with Fleur and Bill for the rest of my life. 


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