✅ My Sister's Problem

129. Walk in the Woods

"It might be, if it wasn't somebody who cares about me that much. But for you, I think it's sweet. Anyway... I wanted to let you know. I picked a new one, so my trigger words will be changing. And I want to tell you what they are. So you can surprise me with it when I'm least expecting it, and see how well they work. If that's not too weird for you. I trust you to be my babysitter anytime."

"Really? Do I need to ask Willow, to make sure that I don't punish you without justification?"

"No. I like being babied. I like being embarrassed." I blushed so much when I said it that I felt I needed to press on right away, before I could dwell too much on that thought. "But this one's a bit different. This time, I can tell you the trigger. It will work even without Mum telling me to be good for a babysitter. You're in control, because I want you to be. And because you're the one I'm telling it to. And it doesn't make me feel like a baby. It's... it makes me act like a baby, but still be fully aware of what I'm doing, and how embarrassing it is. I think that would be more fun for me. Now... I'm sure Lindy will try to trick you into telling her the trigger words. So she can–"

"Don't worry," he cut in. "I won't tell her. This is a big responsibility, and I'm really proud you would trust me that much. I would never–"

"No, no," I interrupted. "I was going to say... I'm sure she will manage to get it out of you eventually. Some trick or other. And if she's smart enough, I won't be angry. It's like our secret, but I won't be upset when she manages to learn it. Because there's a part of me that's excited by the danger of it. And I think she would never use it to do something seriously mean, because Mum's going to have her watching the other spirals regularly. So she always knows that no matter what she does to me, if I think she's crossed the line, I can do the same. So yeah, if she's smart enough to earn it, it's okay to let her have one of the triggers. Makes it fun and unpredictable. And I'm telling you now, you can say the words any time you want. You can embarrass me, and make me nervous. Just so long as it's not making everybody actually laugh at me, or something. I don't mind being embarrassed, that's the fun part, but I don't want to do anything that would actually lose my friends' respect."

"Okay," he said, and nodded slowly. "I think I get that. So what's the actual triggers?"

"There's two," I said. "To start with. You have to say my name, to make it clear you're talking to me. But maybe pet names or something would work too, I don't know. The first one is if you tell me it's 'sucky sucky time', that will give me a temporary oral fixation. So like I can't help sucking a pacifier, or my thumb, or anything you give me. I imagine that could be pretty embarrassing, and you could even do it in public if there's something I can suck without making people wonder. I mean, I'd know I can't help it, but people might not think anything about it if it's like a lollipop or something. That would be so..." I didn't even know the right words for how that made me feel.

"So I have to say your name, and then sucky sucky time. Four words total, right?"

"Yes," I nodded. I could imagine it so clearly, it made me want to suck something. I could fight the urge down, remind myself that he wasn't actually meaning to trigger me. But I knew that after watching those particular spiral videos a couple more times, if he said it with my name, it would be completely irresistible. "And the other one, it's just the same. It's... 'tinkle tinkle time', that one makes me..."

After a few seconds while I struggled to find a way I could bring myself to say it, he ruffled my hair.

"Such a little cutie," he said. "I can guess what that one does. Is my guess likely to be right?" I only had to nod, and he continued: "Okay then. And I promise I'll only do that at a time and place where it's not going to be an inconvenience for you. Where nobody will see. And you really want me to do that? To treat you like you're a little baby and I'm your babysitter? Because, I mean... I know how weird that is, but I think I'd really enjoy it, and I don't know why. Is that really what you want, and not just something you're offering for me?"

"Yes," I squeaked, barely managing to force the word out. He wanted this! I was over the moon then. "Yes, I want to, and I can't believe you're happy to... to do something so out of the ordinary. I'm so lucky to know you. Thank you."

"No, thank you. And I hope that–"

"Sally?" Mum's voice called in the distance. From the tone, I guessed that she'd walked along quite a few of the paths calling. "Hugo? Are you there? We're ready to go!"

"Coming Mum!" I called, ready to run towards her. And then I grinned even wider as Hugo hend on tight to my arm, keeping me under control like a wild toddler as he led us back towards the sound of her voice. I couldn't stop smiling as Mum changed me and Lindy into fresh diapers, or as Hugo helped to buckle me into the back of the car. Or as Mum copied the hypno file over to my phone, and Hugo carefully put the headphones over my ears. I was grinning like an idiot as I focused on the words and felt the present drift away; and the rest of the ride home simply seemed to fly away.