I'll Always Choose You #Watty's2023

45. Nico

January 12, 2023 (baby is 3 weeks old)

"I'm sorry," I murmured as I looked at the 3-week-old premature baby hooked to countless machines. Tears burned my eyes. "I should've been more careful but I couldn't let that man hurt your big brothers."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I sniffled. It's been three weeks socks that faithful day and every day since then, I've been blaming myself. It was a reckless decision even if Gio doesn't think it was. Should I have moved out of the way and put not only my children's safety but that of Jackie and Dawson's just to protect my unborn child? Maybe I should've moved and let him kill them but that would have only made me feel even worse. It would've been my fault that two lives were lost because I cared for my unborn child's life. Perhaps it would've been four lives if Declan had shot the boys in retaliation for what my husband had done.

I wouldn't have forgiven myself if any harm came their way because of my selfishness. My boys' safety came before my own. I made that silent vow the day we brought them home. I made a vow that they will never be hurt, that they'll be loved, and that their safety will always come first. As Gio always said, I will always choose them over my lifetime and time again.

But perhaps I should've been selfish that day and then maybe, I wouldn't be watching my daughter fight for her life daily.

"I should've put you before anything else," I whispered as tears rolled down my face freely before hitting the incubator. I jumped as familiar arms around my waist as Gio buried his face in my neck pulling me against his chest.

"You did what you could, to protect our sons." He whispered pressing a kiss to my shoulder, "as any parent would. As any leader would have done."

"I'm no leader," I whispered as I sniffled, "I couldn't protect her."

"You, my love, are an excellent leader." He replied as he turned me around so I was staring up at him, "you protected your family."

"Yet look what I did to her," I whimpered as tears rolled down my face and he wiped the tears away before pulling me against his chest as I sobbed into his chest, arms wrapped around his waist as he held me.

"It was not your fault," he stated firmly, "the only one responsible for what happened is Declan and no one else, okay?"

I shook my head as I hiccuped and whimpered against his chest. He held me tightly as he rubbed my back in soothing circles before I pulled back to look up at him and he smiled pressing a kiss to my forehead before wiping the tears away, "you made a difficult choice yes, but you saved not just one, but four lives, and for that, you should be proud. Yes our daughter was born before her time but she's here and she's fighting just like her mama fought to come back to us. She'll be okay, Kenzie said she's going to be okay. So stop with these negative thoughts and blaming yourself for what happened because none of it is true."

"B-"

"No," he said cutting me off with a steel-like gaze and I sighed nodding my head before pressing it against his chest as he wrapped me back in his arms.

****

"Any word on these people claiming to be Aros' parents?" I questioned my husband as Gio stood at the stove cooking dinner. The boys were with Jackie and Dawson playing. All three boys had gotten close these past few weeks after the whole incident with Declan.

"Arrow is already working on that." He said and I hummed, "he is to call me once he learns anything or when he's gotten rid of them." And by rid he meant killing them.

"What about the other victims? That ones Arrow said had been sold by their families for drugs?" I asked as he lowered the heat of the stove. He was currently making his favorite dish which also happened to be the boys' favorite dish as well after they had eaten it the first night here.

"They will be taken to shelters or be out be placed under child protective services before being sent to an orphanage like Aros and Tanner had been placed in last year." He replied and I nodded with a sense of worry. He had told me there had been small children under the age of four that had been sold for drugs by their partners. How could anyone do such a thing to their child? Hell, how could someone sell their partner for drugs? I could never understand the evil in this world.

"People are disgusting," I said and he looked over his shoulder with a look of agreement on his face before turning back to the stove just as the front door opened and the familiar giggles of Tanner and Aros filled the air making me smile.

"Mama! Papa!" They yelled as their feet padded their way down the hall followed by heavier footsteps. Gio grabbed a knife near prepared to attack even if our sons were giggling.

"Man, that smells amazing!" Cam's familiar voice echoed down the hall along with the boys' giggles as they rounded the corner and beamed when they saw us. A second later Cam also entered the kitchen and his eyes zeroed in on Gio's hand on the knife that he was squeezing. Gio rolled his eyes as his grip loosened and turned to look at the kids with a smile.

"Why are you here?" Gio asked his cousin who gave him a bright smile.

"Well, I saw these two sweet boys being brought up by Jackie so I offered to bring them up," he answered my husband raised a brow and Cam sighed, "and because I figure you'd want to hear about Arrow's progress."

Gio nodded his head before shutting the stove off.

"Let's eat."