A Court of shadows and love

Chapter-23

"You don't get to talk. You are going to shut up and sit here and listen what I have to say. And answer the question I have. Do you understand?" Xander asked him. Azriel just nodded his head. "Words Azriel. Use your words," Xander told him. "I understand," Azriel mumbled.

"When? When did the bond click for you?" Xander asked him.
"The first time I took you for the training ring. I had you pinned down. When I saw your eyes I felt it. I felt like I was whole for the first time. Yet I was afraid," Azriel admitted.
"Where you ever planning on telling me?"
"Yes," Azriel told him immediately.

"When? After I died of old age? I wasn't a fae like you Az. I didn't have an eternity to find love. I was a mere mortal who would have died in the upcoming war. Did you think about that when you decided that? Did you think about what I want? Did you just for a second believe that I wanted that? Wanted you?" Xander fumed.

"Damn it Az. You were the only hope in my life. You were the only happy and joy I got from this whole fae fiasco. Those evenings with you were the only time I woke up to in the mornings," Xander's voice broke.

"You are the reason I haven't gone insane Az. You are the one who gave me the strength to come out of that wretched cauldron," Xander's flayed his hands. He was breath heavily. Tears were running down Azriel's face freely. Xander didn't want to make him cry. But he has to do it. He can't allow Azriel to degrade himself of all that he deserves.

"I followed you Azriel. I followed the bond when I was stranded alone in that cauldron after..." Xander gulped. "After thrown in. I followed the bond. I followed the shadows. I followed your broken sob," Xander admitted.

Azriel was looking at him with blood shot eyes. Xander's heart constricted in his own chest. "Now talk. Talk with me Azriel. Make me understand," he sobbed.

"I am the bastard son of an Illyrian lord. For eleven years I lived with my father, step mother and two half brothers.  My step mother and half brothers were as cruel as they come. I lived in a dark cell without windows or lights. I grew up in the dark. I was only allowed to come out only an hour for the day. I was only allowed to see my mother once a week for only an hour.

I wasn't allowed to fly even though my Illyrian instincts begged for me to fly. I wasn't allowed. When I was eight my half brothers, they decided to see what happened when they mixed Illyrian quick healing with fire and oil. They thought it would be fun. They poured oil on my hands and lit it on fire. Again. And again. And again. My father's warrior heard my screaming and rescued me but not quick enough to save my hands, leaving me permanently scarred," Azriel tried to hid his hands. But Xander took hold of his hands and didn't let go.

"That happened on Tuesday, so I had to wait four days before I had my mother tend to my wounds. So the scars. They didn't let me see a healer. So I waited. Waited as my Illyrian healing kicked in mauled my hands rather than healing it. When my mother saw my hands she didn't want to let me go back there. Then my father's warriors came to retrieve me she fought them. But she wasn't strong enough. They nearly beat her to death and took me with them," Azriel told him.

Xander was stunned. He knew. He knew something has happened to Az in his past. But he didn't think that it happened when he was a mere boy. Rage pounded against his head begging to set them free. But he willed it to calm down.

"Are they dead? Your father, brothers, step mother?" Xander's voice was cold. As cold as the court Kallias rules over. "Something like that," Azriel told him. Xander blinked at the answer. Those who harmed his mate was walking alive?

"I was eleven when they found out I am a shadow singer. They dumped in windhaven. Devon was over the moon when they brought me there. There aren't many shadow singers. I was different. So Cass and Rhys particularly enjoyed beating the new, silent and shy boy. Rhys's mother knew my mother. She took me and we all completed the blood rite.