Deja Vu (SatoGou)

Epilogue

"Hurry up!" Ash calls to me from above. I don't pick up the pace as I climb up the stairs of our apartment complex. I don't understand why he's in such a hurry, and I just don't have the energy to chase him up, as much as I love him.

Ash and I have been together for over four years. We both graduated last year. Ash and I sailed through the same university together, holding each other up and helping each other through every problem we encountered. I had worried that the change in scenery might bring about changes for us, too, but we hardly ever argued at all, except about silly little things that weren't entirely serious. We always made up right after. I'd hardly spent a single night away from him in three years. I don't think I'd know how to sleep on my own anymore.

A few months ago, we moved into this apartment together. We'd both saved as we studied so that we could afford to move in together once we finished. We weren't far from my hometown, so it was easy to drive back to see Delia and my parents whenever we wanted to. Ash has a good job, and my first novel, 'Déjà Vu', which I worked on during university, has just been published. I hadn't expected it to take so long to write, but I think it was because, even though I played it off as fiction, I was writing about Ash. They were my feelings for him I was pouring onto the page, in reality. It was our story. I had been nervous for him to read it for the first time, once the editor I was working with agreed that we were finished, but he had read it all in one night, his eyes glued to the pages. Once he'd finished, I watched him nervously, biting the end of my thumb, but he had just stared at me like he was dumbfounded.

"Well?" I'd said nervously.

"Goh, this is the best thing I've ever read," he said, shaking his head. His words hit me right in the chest like a truck. I knew he was probably exaggerating, and more than a little biased, but it still meant so much coming from him, and it felt like the biggest win in my books.

I finally catch up to Ash, who's standing outside our door, but not going inside. Suspiciously, he doesn't pull out his key to unlock the door. I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes at him. "What's going on?" I ask. I know all of his tells now. I know him better than I know myself. I can tell when he's hiding something.

He throws open the door at the same time as he shouts "surprise!", and I'm greeted by a ton of faces I haven't seen in a while. Helium balloons fill the room, most reading 'congratulations', and I can see a selection of food and drinks spread out across our counters behind everyone.

"Congratulations!" Everyone shouts at once. I freeze, overwhelmed for a moment. I spot Gary and Misty, Dawn and Chloe, my parents, Delia, and a number of others, all crammed into our apartment, all dressed up nice, and all grinning at me wide. The breath all rushes out of my lungs at once.

"Wha- What?" I stutter, looking at Ash. He smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"I got everyone together to celebrate your book."

I step inside, immediately pulled into a deathly tight hug from Dawn. We still see her and Chloe pretty often, but every time she acts like we haven't seen her in forever. Over her shoulder, I spot Serena and Clemont.

"Wow," I say as she pulls away, holding me at arms length. "I... Thank you, everyone."

"We've all read it," Misty announces. She's sipping a glass of wine. Dawn scurries away and grabs one for me, holding it out to me.

I blush, my skin burning. I knew people would read it, but for everyone to have read it... They must all know I'm really writing about mine and Ash's relationship. Sometimes I wish I hadn't written it at all. It feels like inviting everyone inside my brain, to take a peek at our relationship. I have to remind myself that I wrote it because I wanted to. Because despite everything, we found our way back to each other, and I want people to know that if there's someone out there that's slipped away, they're worth fighting for, in the end. Ash was definitely worth fighting for. I look back at him, to see he's standing beside where my mom is sitting on the sofa. I haven't even had time to greet them yet, and yet he's gravitated towards them.

"That's a little embarrassing," I admit.

"No it's not!" Serena claps her hands. "It's great! We're all proud of you, Goh."

I'm blushing again. I can feel it. All of my friends are gathered again, and I can't help but let myself relish in the fact that I finally feel like I'm starting to make it.

"A toast," Chloe calls out, raising her wine glass, "to Goh's amazing book, and all the ones to come."

Everyone raises their glasses and cheers. I'm more than a little embarrassed now. I look around at everyone.

Gary and Misty, who are still together but in a long-distance relationship, since Misty is studying to be a marine biologist on the other side of the country, are standing with their shoulders brushing together. She travelled all this way to celebrate with us. Gary is a semi-famous footballer, who will more than likely be famous worldwide before long. He also does modelling on the side, which is not surprising.

Dawn and Chloe are crowded around me, both grinning wildly. They're in the process of moving in together, and nearby too. Chloe did a computer science degree, and now works at a big tech company, already in a higher role than most people that have just graduated. Dawn's a nurse- a surprising career choice for her, but one that makes sense when I think about it.

Serena's an actress now, who performs in musicals and broadway shows, touring the country with Clemont, who works from home as an engineer of some sort, and who has his own company already.

It's funny to think about us all in high school, and all the drama, and how we all almost drifted apart at times. Now we're all gathered here, together again, as adults, with our lives together. It makes me proud of them all.

"You haven't been around to see us for a while," I hear my mom complain when the toast is done, but when I look up, I see she's speaking to Ash.

"Sorry, Cam," Ash replies, leaning down to kiss her cheek. She swats him away playfully, and mutters something I can't hear that makes Ash laugh. My heart swells as I watch them. Ash gets on so well with my parents, and I get on so well with his mom. Even though we're not engaged or married (yet), he's part of the family. Delia and my parents even meet up without us from time to time. No one's worried about any sudden rifts forming, because everyone knows Ash and I will never break up.

"I want to make another toast," I say suddenly, unsure where it's coming from, but going with it anyway. Everyone stops to look at me in anticipation. I hold up the glass of wine I've barely touched, knowing I'll be drunk by the end of the night, especially since Gary is here.

"To all of us," I say, smiling. "And the fact that we're all still friends and always will be."

"Amen!" Dawn whoops. We all lift our glasses again. My heart is so full. I have a family that supports us both so much. I have friends for life, that I would do anything for. But most of all, I have Ash. I make eye contact with him as we all make the toast, and a spark runs through the air between us. Even after all these years, I'm still so in love with him. He still gives me butterflies, just like the first day. Those feelings have never faded, not even a little.

Dawn pulls out her phone and starts clicking away, pulling up Spotify, and I realise she's connected to the bluetooth speaker we rarely use. Still Into You by Paramore starts to play, and it's such a perfect song choice that I almost laugh. Everyone else is lowering their glasses, starting to talk amongst themselves loudly, and I know I only have a few seconds before one of them comes up to me, so I raise my glass a little higher, just for a second, my eyes burning into Ash's. He does the same, his smile warm, as the all-too fitting lyrics play around us.

"I love you," I mouth silently to him. Despite the hundreds of times we've said it to one another, I still mean it just as much as the first time I said it, in his room after Gary's second party.

"I love you," he mouths back, his smile contagious. His silent words bury their way into my heart, settling there, and even as I lower my glass, I can't make myself look away from him. He is my sun. He is my moon and my stars. He is the light of my life, and no matter what happens, we'll always be together.