Leashed | • • • | Blue Exorcist

No places like home

"Rin..." I started slowly, but my mind was rapidly cycling through the words I had to choose carefully. He knew why cooking was off limits. Either he saw it as fair but was upset by it still, or he truly thought it was unjustified. Knowing which one would've helped me give a better answer, but I didn't have that luxury. "I know this isn't the most ideal situation-"

"Fuck yeah it isn't!" He snarled, and Yukio posture immediately stiffened. I sighed, bringing my hands up to rub my face. I began to speak but he cut me off. "So coming back here is no better than being in that prison. At this rate, why don't you just take the door off the room?" I groaned, too tired to deal with this shit at the moment. But I'd have to gather myself if I wanted this conversation to end peacefully. "Don't act all pissed with me, Shura. This whole situation has completely taken away any dignity I had. Are you gonna pat me down every night before bed? Are you planning on room checks? Am I allowed to have pens?" He scoffed, "you never know Shura, I may randomly decide to stab myself in the eye with them."

His sarcasm had been eating at me. His last remark stuck with me. I knew the statement was meant to get a rise out of me, and he was successful. A visual flashed in my mind; a gore filled sight of a pen lodged behind the retina, with possible disconnect of the optic nerve. My face contorted as I thought of the bloodied sclera around his blue iris. I grunted and shook my head of the vile intrusion. "Enough!" I barked. "This is for your protection, Rin. I don't want to make these rules, but you leave me no choice."

He growled at me and Yukio moved at the sound. My eyes flickered the other twin briefly, just long enough to see him raise a hand - as if to grab his brother's shoulder, but he quickly dropped his hands, taking a step to the side. I wondered briefly if he was worried about Rin's previous outburst. Did Yukon believe any small touch would send his brother into a spiral? I couldn't blame that thought process, since I didn't even know the answer. I sighed and leveled with the raven haired teen. His icy stare bore through me, daring me to argue. Suddenly, I realized; that's exactly what he wanted.

Ever since his suicide attempt he has been placating the hospital staff, being on his best behavior. With our experience with the excuse that calls itself a children's hospital, I highly doubted he'd worked through the trauma of that night. Hell, today's events were enough to stress me out. Rin was a tightly wound spring, begging for any excuse to explode into a fit of unbridled emotions. So much has changed in the last few weeks and none of it has been for the better. As a returned his gaze, I assessed his expression and what lay beneath. Under his apparent agitation was someone who was lost, completely overwhelmed and drained. The slight dark rings under his eyes showing his exhaustion.

I breathed in deeply, and as I exhaled, my tense muscles loosened. One thing I'd have to remember; Rin had issues understanding his emotions and how to cope with them. If I wanted to help him, I'd have to treat the situation as if I were navigating a toddler through a tantrum. Even in my head, the statement sounded harsh, but it was the best course of action. He didn't have the same self regulation as those I typically associated with. I'd have to filter my words and construct my sentences in ways that could deflect any possible outbursts.

"Let's not talk about this tonight," I finally stated, keeping my tone soft but firm. "It's been a long day, and arguing won't get us anywhere tonight. We can talk about it tomorrow or another day, alright?"

There was a silence that hung in the air between us all. A small electric charge traveling across the molecules as my words sunk in. My eyes flickered to Yukio, his relief apparent in his tired eyes. I wasn't the only one who hoped to end the night peacefully.

A scoff sounded from beside my teenage subordinate and my gaze tracked to the source. A sneer was plastered on Rins lips. His previous anger not pacified. He rolled his eyes and stalked forward, skirting around me and up to his dorm room. His shoe came in contact with the bottom of the door with a bit more force than necessary and the hallways was filled with the sounds of vibrating hinges. Without hesitation, he entered the room and I flinched as the door slammed.

I stood quietly in the hallway for a few moments, processing his actions. I suppose he needed an outlet for his emotions, whether that was screaming at me or abusing the building. If I had to choose, I suppose aiming your anger at inanimate objects was a bit healthier than aiming at others or himself. Yet, I couldn't accept this as a win, if anything, I felt defeated.

"Like you said; it's been a long day." I jolted at Yukio's voice, dragged out of my thoughts. I turned to look at the boy and he took a few steps forward, standing close to my side. "I think I'd be best if we all slept off tonight's events and circle back another time." His expression was guarded and he didn't tear his eyes off of his room door. It occurred to me that he'd have to enter said room to go to bed, and I sympathized with him for the tension that room would contain. "Good job, by the way," he said lowly, his voiced hushed to keep his twin oblivious. "I don't know if you meant to do it, but I'm glad you denied the opportunity to fight against him. I doubt it would be beneficial... although I doubt he thinks the same. He seems to be itching for an argument."

I hummed and trailed my eyes to settle on the same target. Just behind the door I could just hear a stringof expletives. Almost simultaneously, we both sighed and I turned my attention back to Yukio. "Go get some sleep, and don't try to talk about today's events. Eventually I would like to have him vent, but now is not a good time." He nodded in agreement, and a few more moments passed between us before he took his first steps toward his room. I watched as he stood at the threshold, raising his right hand as if to knock. After a hesitation, his hand dropped down to the handle and he slowly opened the door. I held my breath momentarily, waiting to hear screaming or to see if anything would be thrown toward the door in frustration. Yet nothing came.

"Can I come in?" The younger boy asked gently. His brother either completely ignored him or his response was too quiet since Yukio walked into the room before I could hear any answer. As the door clicked shut, I found myself waiting in the hallway for a few more moments, my senses sharpened to catch any indication that the two siblings would be anything other than okay. Finally, enough time passed to calm my worries.

I glanced around at the barren hallway, deciding my next move. My eyes eventually fell on the door across the hall from the boys'. I sighed and trodded forward, pushing open the door and flickering on the light. The room was stark and covered in a thin layer of dust. I suddenly regretted my decision to move into the dorm tonight. My body craved the relief of a mattress, but as I gripped the shopping bag handles in my hand, I realized that sleep would be farther than preferred. I'd clean the room fully tomorrow but for now I settled into making a decent bedding space for the night.