Blame It All on Me. Part 1

Chapter 17. The Envelope

"There, there..." Hiruzen said soothingly, stroking her convulsively shuddering back. "I understand that sometimes it can be difficult to accept help. But you have nothing to be ashamed of, believe me."

"But why is he... "Arina sobbed. "Why does he keep doing this?.. I asked him not to..."

"Because, like me, he feels responsible for you, perhaps – or rather definitely – to a greater extent than I do."

"I made it clear to him that... that my life is not his concern anymore..."

"Tell me, but if you really cared about a person, would that stop you? Especially if you knew what an unenviable position they are in?"

"Yes, but I'm not a homeless kitten... I have some dignity, after all, I don't beg in the streets." Arina finally broke away from Hiruzen's shoulder and, wiping her eyes, glanced apologetically at the wet spot she left behind. At least she wasn't wearing makeup here yet.

Hiruzen calmly folded his hands behind his back and returned to his seat.

"Sit down, lass."

Arina looked at the chair with hesitation. The last thing she wanted was to listen to his lecture – she knew all too well where exactly he was going to lead. On the other hand, what did she expect, bursting in to him like this and showing herself in all her emotional glory?

"Sit down, come on."

Arina obeyed after all.

"You do understand that the way you are reacting now is caused not so much by the fact that you don't like his help, but by the fact what you yourself still feel for him?"

"I don't feel an..." Arina looked away, but Hiruzen didn't let her finish:

"Oh, you don't?.. Listen, I know our silver-haired friend well enough to understand that he is not driven by a sense of duty or guilt alone. And also, that it is unlikely that he would have been so captivated by you – and don't you wince – if he had just accompanied you in a friendly manner from... where was it – Hofu? – to Konoha."

At this stage, Arina blushed deeply, then remembered the 'not encouraged' part.

"I do not know what you thought, but there was nothing like that between us..." she froze, but under Hiruzen's reproachful gaze, she quickly gave up and covered her eyes with her hand for a moment. "Well, okay... There was almost nothing..."

"What was... or what 'wasn't' between you – let it be on your conscience," Hiruzen snorted. "I just want to say that the boy really fell in love with you – oh, stop wincing already!"

After a short silence, he mumbled cheerlessly, as if not addressing her at all:

"And you might think that the entire 'wonderful' genome had been transmitted to him along with the Sharingan..."

"What are you talking about?" Arina asked, puzzled.

"Oh, never mind... Old man's nonsense... This is silly, of course.

Arina shuddered. She remembered what else was 'silly'.

"But, one way or another, you played your part, obviously, for some time returning his feelings," Hiruzen raised his eyebrow meaningfully.

Arina grimaced involuntarily, because she did not just return his feelings – she'd started it all.

"You know why everything has changed, Hiruzen-sama," she said softly.

"I do," Hiruzen did not deny, "your hypothetical fiancé and all."

"It's not 'and all' – and he is quite real." The girl frowned. "I was going to spend my life with this man, it's not something I can simply toss aside."