comfortably alone ○ ellie williams

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winter felt most at peace when she listened to the birds sing in the early morning. the mist collects on the vibrant grass around her. it felt empty in the cabin after last summer when her only parent left, her father, had finally met his end. she could still picture him sitting with her outside, counting how many birds they'd see and showing her how to make flower crowns. he radiated so much love towards winter, and she felt that loved completely.

she'd felt the guilt of it for months on end. she missed the stories he'd tell of the world before the infected, the stories of her mom and how much her mom had loved her. winter's dad never went into detail of her death, only sharing that her mom saved them but died doing so. her dad always tried protecting her the best he could, training her only on basic defense fighting. she now hated that she hadn't pushed him harder on training her, they always assumed they'd be alive longer together.

the cabin she grew up in still held the nostalgic smell, but there had been more infected in the last year then they've seen since the beginning. living in the country had the perks of low infected traffic. they had running water due to the solar panels her father had gotten installed in the early 2000's before everything, she had successfully kept the garden, horses, and chickens alive during the winter time. she used to hate the quietness after her dad's death, feeling empty and lost almost everyday. although the lost feeling never went away she started loving the quiet. it was calm, easier to hear any problems, easier to cope with the anger she used to feel. she used to be able to sleep in, she used to be able to tell when a sound wasn't the infected and was just one of the animals outside, but ever since she was left alone it's harder to sleep.

she can only distract herself so much until her body gives into the sleep she was avoiding. it was getting harder for her to feel safe, even if rationally she knew the amount of infected that passed through was easy to take. still, with every infected near, the nostalgic smell would be replaced with death and a rotting smell.

today she fed the animals slow, watered the plants slow, showered slow, ate slow. just trying to fill the long day and avoid thinking about how good it would feel to sleep. she couldn't, the thought of waking up and seeing that the safe haven her parents had worked so hard for was in danger simply because she was selfish enough to sleep kept her up. it made her stomach twist at the thought. she wouldn't say the loneliness damaged her, she liked being by herself. maybe it's partly because she's only met a few outsiders that her dad had to scare off. that certainly didn't help her distrust in strangers.

it's been two days since winter last slept. she finally started feeling her body fight her, and for once she gave in. she was exhausted from fixing the barb wire fence and cleaning the chicken coop and finally cleaning the solar panels. she even hung more strings with empty cans on them around the doors. she lied in bed, listening to the chirping crickets and the wind against the windows. glancing at the cans hanging across the bedroom door before sleeping.

winter bolted awake when she heard cans clattering and bumping from the living room. she sat up quickly, reaching for the baseball bat beside her bed. her stomach twisted with the possibility that tonight would be her last night alive. silently praying that it was an infected or a bird that found it's way in, she slowly and carefully stepped towards her bedroom door. she put her ear to the door, leaning away from the cans as much as she could. her chest brushed against a can, making a small clinking sound.

winter held her breath, waiting for more noise from the living room. her stomach dropped when she heard a voice. she couldn't make out words, but she heard footsteps coming closer, stopping maybe a few feet away from her door. radio static and then the persons voice echo through winter's door. this time she made out a few words.

"i found.. coming back soon, it's starting to rain." there was a voice from the radio too but winter couldn't hear any distinct words from it.

winter's breath picked up as the reality of her needing to defend herself against an actual person set in. her palms started to sweat. she then realized the sprinkling of rain starting against her window, every sound became 10x louder for her. she gripped her bat tighter, stepping back and putting her hand on her door to open it a little. just then her door swung open, knocking her arm back and making her stumble back. she quickly swung the bat back, aiming for the persons head, but missing due to the darkness.