Like My Heart Craves A Beat

The Breakup

Author's Notes:

Welcome to Team Assomatic's contribution to the LLD Bang 2023! It was published earlier this year on another platform but wanted to share it here as well.

Author: LL Zhass

You can find me on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/LL_Zhass

Artist: Auxochromatic

You can find her Twitter (and more of her art) here: https://twitter.com/Auxochromatic

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This fic has been edited to work for Wattpad (which is extremely limited when it comes to layout).

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Here is the thing-it's all fake.

All of it.

The CP, the public displays of affection, the dates, the engagement during the concert. None of it is real. They are not even a real couple. It's just that-no one knows or can ever know. The only exception being the head of their respective studios and their close family and friends. And if he really thinks about it, which only happens once in a blue moon when he is drunk, Gong Jun isn't sure how they ended up here, only that they are here. A few jokes, one kiss at the start of filming, the rumours started, the show aired and then they shot to fame overnight. Somehow, there was no going back, and Gong Jun found himself agreeing to being in a real CP-at least in the face of the public.

Actually, there is one thing that is real-his feelings and the reason he had agreed to this whole thing in the first place. He loves Zhang Zhe Han. With every fibre of his being and every breath that he takes-he loves him. And he has since the very start of production when Zhang Zhe Han had casually walked into his life and straight into his heart, and then made a home there. He had hoped that Zhang Zhe Han would eventually, maybe, fall for him as well.

But with the constant jokes and Zhang Zhe Han's flirting with everything that moves, Gong Jun just never felt that any of their chemistry was real. At least not for Zhang Zhe Han. During the production it had been all Zhou Zi Shu. And Zhou Zi Shu had loved Wen Ke Xing, not Gong Jun.

And somehow, here they are two and a half years later.

It's just that sometimes Gong Jun messes up and forgets himself. In his defence it really isn't his fault. Most of the time when Zhang Zhe Han turns towards him and smiles, he can hold himself back and not fall under the all‑consuming spell that is his fiancé. He isn't really sure how he does it, but he somehow manages to stop himself from pulling Zhang Zhe Han close, hugging him tight against his chest and just breathing in that essence radiating from the nape of that soft and very cuddleable neck. That very spot where Zhang Zhe Han's hair falls in the most adorable, soft curls.

But when Zhang Zhe Han turns his full attention to Gong Jun-just like he is doing right now with that smile that could melt the icecaps and turn the Antarctic winter into a regular summer's day in the outback of Australia-his brain short circuits and he forgets how to breathe, scrambling to get back online in time for people not to notice.

However, people do notice. And truth be told, as long as they have an audience, it doesn't really matter if they do catch his wandering hands or smiling like an idiot, because at least then he has something to blame his actions on. And they currently have an audience. Which, he reminds himself, is why Zhang Zhe Han has his sunshine smile radiating towards him-not because he wants to, but because it is expected of him in this situation.

It is, however, too late this time and his traitorous hand has moved on its own and is already cradling Zhang Zhe Han's face, and he knows that he has a wistful longing in his eyes and a dopey smile curling his lips. He knows this partly because it is what always happens when his body just reacts to Zhang Zhe Han, and partly because he can hear the Art Director cooing alongside their studio representatives behind the video screens. He can also hear the female assistants giggling somewhere behind the too bright spotlights that are currently aimed at him and Zhang Zhe Han.