But I Still Want You {Taekook}

19. Jeongguk

"Alright," he relented. "Can I come in? We're not talking about this in the hallway."

"O-Okay..."

Still firmly gripping his sleeve, Taehyung dragged him back to the door and only let go of him once inside.

The place was a mess, Jeongguk noted. There was a blanket on the couch, empty bottles of all sorts of drinks on the coffee table, countless chips bags, ripped open, abandoned on the floor, empty ramyeon cups all over the place, clothes strewn everywhere. The living room was unrecognizable. No wonder Jimin had begged Jeongguk to do something.

"I'm trying to keep my promise," Taehyung spoke behind him. Jeongguk turned to look at him. He was wringing his hands nervously, looking at the floor. "I cancelled the subscription. I didn't go to the bar yesterday, even though I wanted to, because I needed to see you so bad. I'm trying here, Jeongguk. So you better have a good reason to be here, because you can't set up rules and then break them whenever you please."

"You set them up," Jeongguk pointed out. "You decided to stop."

"Exactly. Can't you respect that?"

Oh, that was rich. Jeongguk almost wanted to laugh.

"Did you ever respect me telling you that I didn't want to see you? You even signed up for personal training lessons with me. How's that for respect?"

Taehyung looked up at him, startled, then sighed. "Touché. So what do you want?"

"I want to talk to you."

"I don't think..."

"So I will talk," Jeongguk cut him off, "and you will listen, and if, after I say what I have to say, if you still want me to go, I'll go. But first, I'll talk."

"I love a bossy man," Taehyung replied, though his face was gloomy.

"I know you do."

Taehyung blushed, and Jeongguk felt a sudden burst of affection dilating his heart. He had to tell him everything, now.

The problem was, he didn't know where to start. So he stayed silent, figuring out what he was going to say, eyes fixed on Taehyung, who was raising an eyebrow.

"Jeongguk? I thought you wanted to say something."

"Yeah. I'm thinking about how I'm going to say it."

And suddenly, he saw it in Taehyung's gaze; a complete, yet tiny change in demeanor. Suddenly, Taehyung straightened his shoulders, almost imperceptibly; his eyes lightened up; hope was written all over his face.

And just after that, fear, as plain as the nose on his face, fear of letting himself hope for nothing.

"Jeongguk," he begged in a low voice. "Whatever you have to say, please say it. I'm dying here."

He looked so nervous, so ready to be crushed, yet so hopeful, that Jeongguk decided he had no choice but to say it like it was.

"I love you."

Taehyung gasped, and Jeongguk, heart racing in his chest, was in a prime spot to see the myriad of emotions that crossed his beautiful face. A smile was beginning to appear on his lips, but Jeongguk raised a hand.

"But," he said, and the smile immediately faded, "I don't know if it's enough. I love you, but I don't trust you. I'm not confident you're not fooling me a second time."

"I'm not!" Taehyung cried, taking a step forward and grasping at Jeongguk's hoodie. "I know that you don't believe this, but I wasn't even fooling the first time around. I kept quiet about something that I should have disclosed to you from the start, and it led to you thinking I was playing you all along. But I swear, Gukkie, I swear to you, it's not true. I loved you. I was never planning to break up with you! Can you believe me about that?"