Running Towards the Light

Chapter 18 - Dinner Tensions

I nervously moved my thumbs together and then apart again, brought them to my lap, back up on my desk, scratched my head, back to the desk, grabbed them together, held my head, back to my thumbs.

In a continuous cycle I moved my hands and my fingers all over the place as I nervously awaited Mr. Gibbons to start talking.

He had said last week that today we would get our math tests back and I was stressing out! I knew in my heart of hearts and in the realistic side of my brain that I completely and utterly failed that test. To be totally honest I had never studied for it because I forgot about the test all together. So, boy was I surprised when my teacher started slapping papers onto our desks and telling us we had 45 minutes to finished.

"Okay class," Mr. Gibbons' voice sounded around the classroom, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Today, as you know, I will be handing back your test results from our chapter six test. I am disappointed to say that many of you did not do well." He said, pausing for a second. "In fact! The class average was 71% and Mrs. Walsh's class average was 86% everybody! I know we can all do better than Mrs. Walsh." My teacher finished, sending everyone a pointed look.

The entire math program at my school was very competitive with each other but Mr. Gibbons took it to a whole other universe. Mrs. Walsh was super nice and a good teacher from what I've heard. But Mr. Gibbons always felt super jealous of her because she had like four young kids so her life was quite busy and stressful but her students have always liked her and gotten good grades.

I don't know why any young teacher would choose to have four kids almost back to back to back, but I guess I couldn't talk seeing as my parents had eight kids and most of us were about a year apart. 

Penny is in her class and says that everyone just magically understands the second she starts speaking and that Mrs. Walsh is super nice with make ups and extensions and stuff. If I get Mr. Gibbons again next year I will be switching classes because he is going to be the reason I flunk out of math and then high school and then never get into a good college, or any college at all. Trust me – he's bad.

My brothers that have gone to school while Mr. Gibbons was around or had him sympathize with me a lot which is really nice but Dylan and Chris don't care at all. They attribute my bad grade in math to me being lazy and disrespectful towards my teacher. I will admit I don't try my hardest in this class and I don't like Mr. Gibbons which forces me to be mean – or disrespectful I guess – but he's part of the problem as well!

Its almost like not fulfilling my purpose as a student if I was nice to a terrible teacher.  

Most of the time because my oldest brothers get mad at me for my grades I don't go to them to help me study. Instead, I'll go to Spencer, Ben, or West. Mostly, Ben though because he's the patientist and he's actually a good teacher whereas some of my other brothers – West – just get very frustrated when I don't pick up on a topic in one second. Spence is good too I guess, but he's just so busy all of the time and he's in his Junior year so he tends to prioritize his studies over helping his little sister in eighth grade.

I would never in my life go to Cameron or Sam for help though. Sam because he doesn't get the best grades and is super mean. Plus, he would never me caught dead helping me out with someone or being nice to me so that's out of the question. I tried to go to Cam with my school work a couple years ago but he also didn't want to help me. And I do know that my most rebellious brother is absolutely terrible at school and did so poorly last year Chris made him repeat senior year. So I don't think it would be my smartest idea to try and get help from him. Not to mention, the fact that he's barely around so I don't even know when I'd ask him.