Phoenix Moon

Here Comes Life (Part 1)

Days passed slowly. After Kat's visit I felt significantly better, yet I still didn't feel quite whole. I didn't have any desire to leave my room because going outside would be risking the chance to see Andre, and I did not want to deal with that. I wasn't ready yet. "Lil dear. I love you, but you have to go out and live your life. You can't just stay here forever." My brother told me as he leaned against the door frame. Sometimes he acted more like a parent then a brother. "I know it hurts but you can't just-" He was cut off by the doorbell ringing. Whoever was downstairs sucked at patience because they rang the bell over and over and over again.

"I'm coming!" Luke shouted, but the wretched ringing persisted. Luke's face quickly darkened until he looked downright pissed off. "I SAID I WAS COMING!" He stormed out of my room to open the door. I got horrible sinking feeling in my stomach, yet at the same time my heart fluttered like a butterfly in the spring. I crept down the stairs behind Luke to see who was at the door, but I had a sneaking suspicion that I already knew who was behind the large wall of wood. I hid in the kitchen peeking around the corner just enough that I could watch Luke open the door.

"What?!" Luke growled out.

"Sorry dude." Came the answer. It was him. My suspicions were correct. "Is Lily here?" Please don't let him in. Please don't let him in. I chanted in my head.

"I don't think it's a great idea for you to be here right now." Thank goodness for our freakish twin-epathy.

"I just want to apologize for being so rude the other day. I shouldn't have taken it out on her" He still didn't know. My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. "I was just really stressed, but that isn't an excuse."

"Maybe later" Luke said firmly.

"Please-"

"No!" Luke snapped.

"Ugh. Fine. But I think you are being ridiculous. Will you at least tell her what I said?"

"Depends on if she is listening right now or not. Your chances aren't good"

"Ok then." Andre said as he knitted his eyebrows together. He looked cute when he was confused, but that didn't mean that I wanted him here. Luke went to shut the door but Andre blocked it. "Hold on. There's one more thing, Alpha needs you guys to fill these out and have them back to him by noon tomorrow."

"Can do. Thanks Andre. I'll see you around" Luke didn't give Andre another chance to speak before he closed the door. "I know you're over there Lil" He called. I stepped out of my hiding place guiltily and asked:

"What did he give you?"

"It is the job request forms for graduation." I'd almost forgotten about that. At our ceremony when they announced us as official pack members we were assigned a position. We were all given the opportunity to rank the occupations based on what we would most prefer, then the council would make final decisions on where we should be placed. The careers weren't set-in-stone, but usually where a wolf got placed was exactly where they belonged.

"Do you know what you want?" I asked

"Not sure. Something where I get to fight. Guard maybe?" I nodded. Luke would be good at that. He and Andre both trained nonstop to be the best fighters. Andre. I cut the thought off cold. Not now. Being in the guard was an exceptional honor. Few were given the opportunity, and even fewer actually made it. "What are you hoping for?"

"I want to teach. I don't really care what age." I had always wanted to be one of the teachers at the small high school in town. It was a private school strictly for our pack and the neighboring pack, and I loved the environment. I wanted to make a difference and what better way to do that than to work with the youth? Not to mention the amazing hours. Kids didn't go to school very long because of the required training they had every other day directly after lessons. "I figured that's what you would say" Luke chuckled.

"I've only been talking about it my entire life, but you know" I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"True" He stepped into the kitchen to grab a pen. "Go fill that out. I'm heading to the big house in an hour, so I can just turn them in then."

"Gotcha" I ran up the stairs feeling strangely exhilarated. It was easy to forget about Andre in the midst of my excitement. This was the only part of the ceremony I was actually excited about.

I sent a quick text to Kat.

'just got job apl. sheet. Wbu?'

Her answer came almost immediately

'I got mine 20 mins. ago. Still deciding'

That didn't surprise me. Kaitlin was the kind of person that lived in the moment. She didn't plan for her future at all, she just rolled with it and hoped for the best. I was the exact oposite. I had known exactly what I wanted to do with my life from the time I could walk.

I put ages 14-16 as my desired teaching age even though I didn't really care, but it would be fun to work with the shifties. Newly shifted wolves could be dangerous, but they were always the most excited about being a wolf. They were the ones that could see the bright side of being a wolf.

I added trainer and doctor into my top three then ordered the rest randomly. It was extremely rare for someone to be given a position that wasn't in their top three choices. We functioned so well as a community because people enjoyed their jobs. No one got paid more for a specific job than another, so money never came into play when choosing.

I wonder what Andre is putting on his The wolf in me murmered. No. Stop. It doesn't matter. I don't care. But the truth was I did care, and that scared me. I shouldn't have to suffer through all of the pain of chasing Andre if he was going to push me away. Until I could figure out how to solve my problem I needed to forget about him because if I didn't than I would end up as a shell. I'd had time to mope, but that was over now. It was time to be a big girl, and just hope that things would turn out OK.