Hot Mess Express

VIII.

Jean's POV:

It took everything I had in me to leave that stairwell.

I don't know what came over me. The feeling was almost carnal. I wanted to invade her senses, to make myself a part of her and live in her warmth.

God she is so infuriating. I was doing just fine, getting by each day wrapped in a cloak of guilt and numbness and here comes this girl. This walking ray of gullible sunshine. I'm convinced she doesn't have a bad bone in her body, which makes her the worst possible match for someone like me – someone who will chew her up and spit her out.

What I didn't expect from her was that smart little mouth. She keeps me on my toes, keeps me guessing, and puts me in my place. She reminds me of him, of Marco.

Every time I look at her, I'm just reminded that my best friend is gone and that it's all my fault – that I'm the reason he's gone. I ruined his life just like I'll do hers if I get to close. That's the issue with her though.

It's like no matter how hard I try to stay away, her pull is too strong. I can't help but gravitate towards her like she is a planet and I'm her moon.

I wanted nothing more than to smash my lips on her in that stairwell, to caress my fingers through her hair and hear her moan my name. Even sitting here now thinking about it makes my blood rush to my dick and my heart pant in my chest.

More than that, she makes the emptiness in my chest fill with warmth and tighten. That's why I have to find a way to keep my distance from her. Because after Marco died, I decided my heart wasn't worth having.

When we put him in the ground, I ripped my heart out and buried it with him
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Y/N POV:

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Your brain was pounding against the walls of your skull. You didn't think you even drank that much, but the nights events were fuzzy and all you could comprehend was the dryness of your mouth and your eyes begging to adjust to the brightness of the room.

Sitting up slowly, you looked around the bed expecting to find Sasha and Mikasa beside you, but soon realized you were alone. You got up making your way to the bathroom for a much-needed shower and some ibuprofen. After a quick rinse of your body and your teeth, you made your way back to the main area where the smell of pancakes and syrup attacked your senses.

"Y/n!" Sasha called to you from her spot at the table through bites of her breakfast. "Jean cooked breakfast this morning come make a plate!"

Jean could cook? You decided you'd file that away for a rainy day. You made your way over to the counter and grabbed a plate. As you started to load some bacon onto your plate you felt someone enter your space "

"Uh-uh, who said any of this was for you? Have you earned it?" Jean's breath fanned across your earlobe sending a chill down your spine. You turned to face him with an irritated look "Come on, Jean move out of my way. I'm exhausted and I'm starving."

"Oh, couldn't sleep? Too busy thinking about me?" He snarked. "Yeah, thinking of all of the ways that I could murder you in this RV. I came up with a short list of about 86. One of them involves bacon, want to see?" You questioned picking up a piece of bacon from the plate beside you. Shoving the piece of bacon into your mouth in one bite, you continued piling food on your plate attempting to ignore his presence beside you, but Jean wasn't so easily forgotten.

"86 huh? Sounds like you spend a lot of time with me on your mind. Try not to let me occupy so much space in your brain, God knows you're not taking up any in mine." He barked back.