Discord's School for Padded Princesses

Chapter 3

Radiation? No, that's too grim. Quantum mechanics? Even I don't understand that!" Discord pondered, tapping his chin as he flipped through more of the book. "Oh, I know! How about home economics?" He said. Twilight bit down on her pacifier, trying her best to bite back a retort. How in Equestria was that science?

Discord put the book down, snapping his claws as a small kitchen appeared at the front of the classroom and a frilly pink apron was draped over Discord as well. "Something simple, I think. Everypony knows princesses love cake, if Celestia is anything to go by," Nightmare Moon snickered at Discord's jab "So knowing how to make some for yourselves should be something every princess knows." Discord walked over to the fridge, pulling out several ingredients, while his tail flipped open a cupboard to pull out a bowl and mixer. "Now, please watch carefully, as I'm only going to do this once." Discord said. "Firstyou'llwanttograbthebutterandtheflourmixingthemuplikeso..." Discord began to spout off words at break-neck pace, zipping back and forth around the kitchen as he prepared the cake.

Trixie tried to follow Discord's instructions, but he was moving far, far too fast for anypony to be able to follow what he was doing. He began to whip up the batter, humming a song that Twilight thought she heard Pinkie singing at one point or another.

After less than twenty seconds, Discord put the cake in the fridge. It hummed to itself, and then the draconequus opened the toaster and took the cake out again.

"And voila!" he said, placing a perfectly cooked wedding cake four stories high – though the third layer appeared to be made out of solid chocolate, and the figures on the top consisted of a familiar group of diapered-up ponies (and one griffon and one dragon).

"Easy as cake, and a piece of pie," he declared. "Now, who thinks they can do the same?"

Twilight's hoof went up, as did all the others, and she did a double-take.

"Everyone, wonderful!" Discord applauded, and his tail cracked down on the floor. All of their desks walked over to the side of the room, and then a collection of kitchens appeared out of the ground around each student.

"It's important for a Princess to understand every aspect of her staff's work!" Discord explained. "And to be able to tell a great cake from a good one by the taste alone – so, get to work!"

Twilight looked around for a recipe, and saw nothing. There was a fridge with nothing in, but the oven appeared to be full of ingredients so that at least wasn't a problem – but she had no idea where to start with baking a cake, let alone how to do a good one.

That didn't seem to be stopping some of the others, though, and Cadence was already starting to put eggs and flour in a bowl. Twilight thought about copying her – she was sure Cadence wouldn't mind – but then an egg hit her in the flank, bouncing off her plush suit.

Looking to either side of herself, Twilight groaned. Nightmare and Day Breaker were either side of her, and were already starting to use the ingredients as weapons rather than as actual ingredients.

Twilight began to get to work, trying her best to ignore Daybreak and Nightmare's squabbling as she cooked. If Twilight thought she was having trouble, though, it was nothing compared to what Starlight was trying to deal with. Her massively overinflated padding kept her hind hooves well off of the floor, meaning she had to lean down against her diaper to try and pull one of the cupboards open in search of a bowl. The door could only open so far, however, before it encountered the wall of fluff that was Starlight's cosmic padding.

Shining was attempting to follow Cadence's actions as well, though Discord didn't seem to care how he was blatantly cheating. Stirring in the sugar just like Cadence, she eventually spotted him watching her and stuck out her tongue playfully before poking his diaper with the end of her spoon. "Come on, Shiny, you can do this by yourself! You're a big pony!" She teased. Shining blushed, returning to his own cake.