ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴏᴜʀᴛʜ ᴡᴀʟʟ | ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀꜱ ᴇʀᴀ

xxiii. apologies

"You're a companion. Not just a friend; someone more than that. Companion is not the exact word, but Callie I can't- I can't go on without you."

She stepped back and gasped a little in surprise. Regulus did not just say that and told her he had no feelings for her. That wasn't fair. She had accepted he would never like her the way she did and had trained her mind and heart to think so.

"Please don't say it like that," she pleaded like a kid.

"How am I supposed to say it? For sixteen years of my life, Callie, I had live not needing you. But now, I just lost you for days and I... I don't want to say goodbye yet. I don't want to let you go yet."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You have to know, Regulus! Because you're being unfair to me! You told me you don't like me back but now you're making me feel like you do!"

He couldn't speak after that. He thought so, too, that he didn't like her romantically one way or another. But now that Callie pointed that out, he couldn't justify himself.

"You're messing with my heart." Her voice broke, telling him how unfair it was.

"I'm sorry." Regulus couldn't dare look at her so he settled for the floor.

Callie nodded as she wiped the fallen tears away with the back of her hand. "If you really are willing to help us, then you are welcome. You should prepare too. I'm going to get rest." She turned around to climb up to her bed.

It was his turn to nod. "I shall wait for you to accept all my apologies." And Regulus exited, not noticing how she froze hearing that.

She just realised she didn't accept his apology. None of his sorry's. Callie didn't want to plant hard feelings for anyone, especially him. But she also couldn't bring herself to accept them. She was hurt. And she was more than glad to make Regulus well aware of that.

Though he hoped she'd forgive him. He already found the person who wouldn't judge him for everything he had done, for understanding every bit of him. And he had made the grave mistake of pushing her away. But he was glad not to keep that going for too long. As soon as they meet once more, Regulus will do everything in his power to keep her. Though there was something he had to understand first: his feelings for Callie.

He was so sure before it was nothing sort of romantic and just gratefulness. Albeit after Callie mentioned earlier that he wasn't being clear, he found himself lost in his own maze of a mind.

So he resorted to looking at a different perspective. Through asking his friends. Although Regulus didn't know how to start. He had no idea how to ask his friends, Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr., if whatever he was feeling was romantic or not.

He rolled his eyes at himself. The downside of not knowing how it feels to fall in love. Sucks.

Maybe the idea was bad. They'd just ask questions he didn't want them to. It would be a long explanation. Another thing, he'd have to mention his betrayal of the Dark Lord that both his friends looked up to.

"You're awfully quiet," Evan pointed out at dinner across from Regulus at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall.

Regulus barely touched his food. He was still trying to figure out his feelings. Stupid feelings.

"Isn't he always?" Barty retorted beside him.

Evan rolled his eyes. "I meant a different kind of quiet." He turned to their friend who had begun eating. "Does it have anything to do with your conversation with your brother?" Oh, they did hear the unexpected event between Regulus and his brother that morning at breakfast.