𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 ✔

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I have feelings for you Thomas," I blurted out, "so much so that I have been desperately trying to hide them from you, fearing that you do not actually feel the same." I watched his eyes light up as his posture straightened and he turned his whole body so that he was completely facing me. "I am not the only object of your affections, I know this, and because I do not really know where I stand with you, I was trying to pull back, to help keep myself from getting hurt."

I was uncomfortable, but not because of him. It was due to the fact that I had just told this man, who clearly had at least some feelings for me, that I had more feelings for him than actually existed. And after actually saying it aloud, it made me realize that I may not have ever been able to actually love him. Or maybe that was me trying to separate myself him? Nevertheless, I was not there to fall in love. Actually, I had started to feel unsure of myself and why I was still there, let alone what I was there for.

"Emma." I shivered as his hands came up and gently cupped my face.

"When had he gotten down on his knees in front of me?" I thought, completely taken by surprise.

"Yes, some of the others are receiving of my affections, but none of them are as receiving as you. You are the one I find myself thinking about the most, and I hold you in the highest regard. I have not had moments like I have had with you, with any of the others. I cannot open up to them like I can with you. So know that you are the one I am closest to, and I can promise you that."

His cold blue eyes had a warmth to them, something I had not yet seen. There was so much sincerity in his words, so much honesty. Yet, for some reason I did not want to believe them. However, his touch, so soft and gentle, was hypnotizing. I felt myself longing for another kiss that I had not even wanted prior, and it honestly made me feel sick. I hated how easily he made my mind melt with one graze of a finger against my skin. How much he made me want him when I had just told myself that I could never love him.

I felt as if I was pulling myself in half, constantly going back and forth in my own mind between whether I do want him or if I don't. He knew exactly what to say, where to touch to bring my confidence in my feelings, or lack thereof, tumbling down and I was more confused with myself than I should have been.

"If I could, I would choose you now and be done with it." His right hand slowly slid its way down to the back of my neck, thumb resting in front of my ear, "But until there are only three of you, it is all out of my hands. The others are still here because of mother's politics, but you, Emma, you are here because I want you."

"Me. . ?" I breathed out, shivering at his confession. He wanted me. Just that sentence alone was enough to sever any coherent thought in my mind. It was all I wanted to hear, though I wasn't sure if it was him that I had wanted to hear it from.

He looked deeply into my eyes, searching for something before he softly mashed his lips into mine. I could feel how hungry for more he was with every breath. His gentleness had melted away and in its place was this wildness that made every part of my body tingle. He used his left hand to push my knees apart, then pulled me closer to him in an instant. Making it so we were pressed against one another, and I, in turn, wrapped my legs around him without even realizing it.

My eyes fluttered into the back of my head when he carefully bit my bottom lip, just before he made his way from my mouth down to my neck. Planting kisses and nibbling on every inch of skin along the way.

When his lips touched my neck, I accidentally let out a loud moan that made me cover my own mouth in surprise. I felt him smile just before he attacked my neck once again, this time gently running the tip of his tongue across my skin.

"I want you." He breathed into my neck as his left hand made its way under the skirt of my dress. The tips of his fingers gliding up the inside of my leg until they stopped on my thigh. He groaned just before he grabbed a hand full of my thigh with his left hand and used his right to pull me back into another voracious kiss, massaging my tongue with his.

I gasped and what sounded like a squeak left my lips as he held me by the hip, pushing his thumb into a dip, just below my corset, which radiated nothing but immeasurable pleasure throughout my entire body and made me squirm.

I had thought the kiss we had shared before was never to be rivaled, but this one, this one was much more than I could handle. I was so confused by how much pleasure he was inflicting upon me that when I would try to ask him to stop nothing would come out.

He had me, in that moment, all of me and he had no idea. I would have let him do anything to me, despite knowing it was wrong. I wanted it all, and I did not even know what all could have been. His hand, that was under my dress, started to wander and every bit of skin he grazed made my toes curl.

One of my hands shot up, grabbing him by his soft blonde locks, trying to anchor myself as he dared inch further towards somewhere I wasn't ready for him to go.

"P-please. . . He-" I stopped, stomach dropping to my knees as I realized what name I was about to call out.

A name that should not have even appeared in my mind at that moment, let alone come out of my mouth.

Henry.

That was more than enough to snap me back to reality. I quickly pulled myself away from Thomas as the guilt of almost calling him by his brother's name ate away at me. I was completely shocked out of any and all arousal, heart pounding and thoughts racing. Why had I thought of Henry while I had been entangled with his brother? Or rather, why was I thinking of Thomas' brother while I was making out with him? Why did I almost call out his name?

He also pulled back, eyeing me curiously, "This is the second time you've pulled away from me." He ran his right hand across his face. "Am I doing something wrong? Something that is not to your liking?"

"N-no." I quickly blurted out, "I just don't want things to go too far. Not right now at least."

I enjoyed kissing him, more than I should have, but the only man I was going to allow any further would have only been the man who had taken my hand. I knew what usually happened to those who delved too deep in the depths of pleasure, and those people, more often than not, came out of those depths with a child and a ruined reputation. Two things I did not want.

He looked around, as if he had forgotten where he was, "I see." He cleared his throat, "Next time I will choose a more, private, place to meet."

Why did he always go and say something so insensitive, so outrageous after such wonderful moments. It was like the kind and thoughtful Thomas always disappeared after I let him in. But again, perhaps I insinuated too much with my reply. That or he was just a painfully oblivious man.

There was a disconnect between him and I that no matter what happened, it always made itself apparent.

But honestly, that was the least of my worries at that moment. He had just proclaimed that I was the woman he wanted, the one that he would choose when the politics were put aside. Yet, after all of that, as well as our very intimate moment, I still could not believe what I had almost done. I had been so very close to ruining everything.

I should have been overjoyed, ecstatic that I was his choice. Yet, I was horrified. Because I had realized just how much I had already fallen in love with the wrong brother.