Rereading My Childhood - Fear Street

The Bad Girl

I was a studious kid. I showed up on time, I did the assignments, I turned in homework, and I was always prepared. Teachers loved me. I was not "a bad girl" in any sense.

On the other hand, I didn't do any extracurriculars. I had no "school spirit." I ditched assemblies. I didn't listen to school administrators and when they threatened to take away things like "Senior Sunrise" from me, I replied, "So I can keep ignoring you?" Another time, an administrator threatened to keep me from being in the senior class photo because I was loitering outside a classroom waiting for my friend. Oh no, now I won't be photographed during the phase of my life in which the mere mention of a camera sent me running away. Don't threaten me with a good time. To every teacher, I was the perfect student - ready to learn and attentive. To every administrator, I was an unpunishable slacker who tore school spirit signs and thought the leadership class was a waste of everyone's time.

But I never cheated on my non-existent boyfriend, which seems to be the only prerequisite for being a "bad girl" in Shadyside. Also murder.

Our high school protagonists and delinquents are Dawn and Jan. Dawn narrates the book and is cheating on her boring boyfriend. Jan has a car and likes to annoy animals. They both have an Evian addiction.

Evian count: 1

While the girls gossip, their classmate, the teacher's pet Cindy, chides them for using the lab to ditch study hall, a class that doesn't exist. So they dump some chemicals like formaldehyde and sulfuric acid, which are just sitting around in this unattended science lab, in Cindy's science project. It explodes, leaving behind a black formula with tiny golden crystals. Dawn and Jan swipe the formula as the science teacher, Ms. Philbin, bursts in and asks about the smoke. Ms. Philbin reprimands the girls. In turn, the girls blame Cindy for their admonishment.

Evian count: 2

Later while the class is preparing for frog dissection, Dawn's boring boyfriend Clint asks her if they're still going out and he cuts her with a scalpel. It was an accident, but Clint should probably have his very sharp blade taken away if he can't control his dumb arms. However, Ms. Philbin is unfazed, tells them to stop screwing around, and that they should get to slicing and dicing their froggy victims. Somebody just knifed another student and Ms. Philbin is treating them as if they were drinking from the emergency eye wash station (which I regularly did in middle school; I think everyone has done this at least once).

Evian count: 3

Back to cutting open a frog, the girls name it Spot because of its distinctive markings.

Evian count: 4

Then they drop a bit of the formula they made in the science lab into the frog's mouth. When they look away, the frog is gone! So they get another one and cut that one open instead.

Evian count: 5

Dawn's bag moves on its own! It's Spot! Alive and well. Ms. Philbin orders the girls to put the frog back into the frog terrarium and stop messing around. Wait a second. Ms. Philbin has a frog terrarium in a classroom where students dissect frogs. That's sadistic and Ms. Philbin is fucked up.

After class, Dawn is at her locker and her secret paramour, Will, comes up and asks when he can see her again. They flirt for a little and then he leaves, pretending to throw an invisible football. You'll have to excuse Will - he is a frequent user of the now-defunct Yahoo Answers service.

Even though she's supposed to be a bad girl, Dawn has a job at the animal shelter after school. Her boss is leaving early, so she's responsible enough to be left alone. Her behavior fails to live up to the title. She's not perfect, but I would classify her as your average teenager who hasn't outgrown their middle school obnoxiousness.