heaven ☆ mick mars

43.

Some of you may already have read this, I split the last chapter in half as it was too long, this is the second half.

the tv. why did she stare at the tv?

i forced my aching body to crawl over to the tv set, switching it on at the wall.

instantly, the news channel lit up on the screen. i sat back in shock as a picture of me was on the screen next to the news reporter behind the desk.

i fumbled for the volume buttons on the remote before turning it up.

my heart pounded. i felt my head go light.

"..two weeks since the disappearance of lillian feranna, the brother of mötley crue's nikki sixx. feranna's mother, dianna feranna, and partner, john ramsey, continue to be lead suspects in the case of her disappearance, which is alleged to be an abduction."

my heart sank to my stomach as a queasy feeling overcame me. i couldn't believe what i was seeing.

"we now play a recent interview from david "dewy" mayfield, a witness of the alleged abduction and a victim of physical assault at the scene."

i could do nothing but watch as a dewy's bruised face appeared on the screen. he looked distant, like his mind was elsewhere. traumatised.

his voice, like mine, sounded croaky.

"i had been out clubbing with my friend that night, we met lilly for the first time and the night got a lot better. i didn't know she was that guitarist's brother, i had no idea. not at first." he looked away and paused momentarily. "i found out later on. there was a...verbal altercation outside with a woman that lilly knew. i comforted lilly and then all of a sudden, these guys stormed us out of nowhere, it all happened so fast."

he looked destroyed, the further into the story he got.

"i had been beaten up, i had no time to even look up and see what happened to lilly.." his eyes glazed over with tears. "i just heard her muffled screams. and then a vehicle drove off. i didn't even see which direction it went." he now looked frustrated as well as hurt.

i still couldn't make sense of what the fuck was happening.

the screen flashed back to the reporter.

"mötley crue's nikki sixx is set to make a statement later this week, having recently been dispatched from the hospital due to a drug related illness. his manager, doc mcghee, has reportedly stated that sixx's recovery was severely ruptured by the news of his sister's disappearance, which was reported to the band early morning after the incident took place."

jesus. part of me felt deep down that maybe no one would even know. maybe they'd just assume i'd run away.

"it was rising band bon jovi's richie sambora who knew the victim's relation to mötley crüe, it was him who found a way to contact feranna's brother."

all the answers that unfolded before me were almost too much to hear. i was seconds away from switching off the tv.

until i heard his name.

"the only member of the band set to make the first official statement is guitarist mick mars. this message is thought to reveal key details in the case. we will now play his message for the first time."

the screen went black and silent momentarily before it faded back in to him.

my heart tore itself to pieces. i had never seen mick like this. he looked thin, pale, delicate. his eyes were blotchy, his cheeks sunken.

"my name is mick mars. i am delivering this message on behalf of myself and the rest of mötley crüe, lilly's family."

he sounded so fucking broken.

"i am aiding with the ongoing investigation into lilly's disappearance. she was kidnapped by cowards, the very same people who abused her daily when she lived with them for 19 years, before joining myself and the band on tour." he cleared his throat. "since the day of hearing about the incident, i named a person who i strongly believe to be an accomplice to this abduction. joanna haywood."

my eyes widened in shock. what the fuck.

"about a month ago, myself, lilly and the band were aware that lilly's mother and step-father were in the area, at the city in which we were touring. we were vigilant and took necessary precautions as threats had been made to claim lilly as their own, that she would be forced to go home with them unwillingly." he swallowed, and paused. i knew how hard it was for him to struggle through this, i could see it. "not long after, i was approached by miss haywood. she told me that she was in contact with lilly's mother and step-father, provided me with proof of this, and then told me she had been offered a large sum of money to pass on information of lillian's exact whereabouts, a date and location of which she would be alone. with her own agenda, joanna haywood then told me she would refrain from leaking that information if i told lillian and the public that i had an affair with miss haywood. with lilly's best interests in mind, i felt as though i had no other choice. i see now, this was poor judgment and an impulsive decision."

what..the fuck-

"what i believe now is that this was part of dianna feranna and john ramsey's plan to abduct lilly. in spreading this rumour about an affair, the band experienced tensions, i was consumed by hidden guilt, and lilly was very much alone."

you're right. i was alone.

"the police are now looking for joanna haywood for interrogation, she has not been seen since just before the incident took place. if you have any information on her whereabouts, please.." his voice cracked slightly as he stopped to recompose himself. "lilly is in a vulnerable place when she is with those people. i'm terrified of what they will do, and we need to bring her home. i love her more than i have ever loved anyone. she means everything to all of us."

i let out a quiet sob, i had been concentrating so hard, i didn't even know i had been crying.

"lilly.." he looked directly into camera. "i'm sorry. wherever you are..just know that i love you. i shouldn't have lied, i thought i was protecting you. i was wrong."