Betrayal | Tsu'tey

XXXVII

Let it all go
Lonu nìwotx tsa'ut
•—————•—————•—————•—————•

"Eat. You must eat now because you cannot during the ritual." A woman urges. An elderly shaman of the clan, one member of the clan who would most likely view her ritual. Hia ate what she could, though, remembering what she had told Ronal, it was hard to keep an appetite.

All that blood. All those feelings. It felt fresh still. It stung worse than the wounds she sustained weeks ago.

Her thoughts lingered and wandered as life around her went on.

"Come." Ronal ordered, Hia was pulled from her thoughts as she looked up almost cluelessly at the Tsahik. She stood and obeyed. Following her into a small, painted marui.

Ronal took her seat inside, at the back, where an array of paints were held. They were far more pigmented and thicker. She motioned for Hia to sit. She got to choosing paint.

"You have been among the people for less than half your life. Not even a year yet. But you are loyal, tied to us by your body and spirit. Your past life tethers you to the Skypeople and their ways." Ronal stated as she picked out an off-white color and raised her hands to Hia's face, stripes and dots on her forehead, two down her nose, over her eyelids and down her cheeks. More dots. One dot between her eyes and the stripes.

"The alien part of you will die with this ritual. Maybe not completely, but the memories won't trouble you any longer." She said. Her eyes focused on Hie before she stood. Ronal called to her tsurak, or skimwing through a series of clicks and sounds.

The beast crowed back at her and she mounted it. Hia slipped onto its back, relying on Ronal and the saddle to keep her tethered to it as they rode. The sun began to set as they dipped under and over floating mountains that sat on the water's surface and hovered over it, under it.

Great rib-like formations were in the sky, the sun and naranawm behind it. And glowing, at the center of the cove was their spirit tree.

She and a few others drifted to the mountain's base, where the longest tendrils reached the beach. Hia got off, stepping onto the soft sand under the water.

"Make the bond, we will begin shortly." And Hia did as she was told, trusting Ronal completely.

•—————•—————•—————•—————•

A drum, water drum of some sort was echoing in my ears. Faint chanting.

"Stawm oeti! 'Aku peyä tìsrawit!" Ronal's strong voice echoed, she didn't quite exude power like Mother, though.

I was rocking back and forth until the world beneath me fell away into nothing. It was all full of nothing. I was floating freely. The world came flooding back to me, but not Pandora.

The roar of distant vehicles reached my ears and the dry air filled my lungs. The orange-yellow sand shifted under my feet as the dunes engulfed the horizon. The truck was crashed into the side. There were bullet holes, the sound of distant gunfire, and the smell of death.

Blood stained the sand. Bodies laid buried under some sand. The clicking and buzzing of my malfunctioning comm was flickering on and off with distant screams.

I was suddenly running frantically across the sands. A foreign gun in my hand, my scarf drawn right to my face. Something knocked me over. I fell face first into the sand, I rolled down the hill. Burning pain blossomed in my side. I couldn't breathe.

I saw a woman- no. It was myself. I walked up to this stranger I was in, pulled out my sidearm and lodged two more bullets into the body. The final one took me out and into somewhere new.

That couch. That terrible couch and how heavy it was. How heavy his body was. How unbearably uncomfortable. The burning on my wrists, his rough skin tore at mine. I couldn't breathe. I could barely move. I didn't look at him. I hate his face. The weight and pain melted into heartache and artillery fire.

I remember watching them suffer. We were all on the ground for extraction. I had pressed my palms against Soren's wounds to prevent him bleeding much more.

And then it all faded away. He would hold me for hours in bed. Doing nothing but resting and talking. His hands would never roam, he was ever attentive. It was definitely improper for someone of higher status to be in a relationship with someone beneath them, but the Captain let it slide. His breath on my forehead. The warmth in his skin. The tender, lingering touches. Showers while off duty. Heated discussions about beans on toast. Sharing every detail of our lives with each other. He met Grandma Jo.

And then it all came screaming back. His sputtering and tremulous gasps. His hands gripping mine firmly as he begged me to say that I loved him. The hot tears. His dead eyes. The heart ache. Rocking him to sleep on the helo. Captain trying to tear me from him. Putting him to rest.

"Let it all go." A calm, echoing voice entered my subconscious.

It was dark. I closed my eyes tight. I was standing, I don't know what on.

Those familiar gloves grabbed my arms, I grabbed the sleeves of his uniform. I felt his warmth again.

"You don't need me anymore." He said, he kissed the top of my head, "you gotta let me go, love." He whispered.

"Every time I think of you," I opened my eyes and let my gaze fall on him, "it hurts. There was so much we were gonna do." My vision blurred with tears.

"I'm at peace now. Everything's okay. You have a life to live. 'Can't have me messing it up for you." His voice faltered, trembling with thick, complicated emotions.

"I know, it's just so hard." I squeezed his arms trying to hold on a little longer.

"I'll always be here for you. It's okay. All you have to do, is walk forward." He said, he held my face and pressed one last kiss to my lips before letting me walk past him.

"Don't look back." He said, "you're doing so well." His voice faded and was gone. And then I was too.

•—————•—————•—————•—————•

Hia woke and her face contorted as her tears mixed with the water around her face. A small whine squeezed it's way from her throat.

"It is done." Ronal went into the water after her, holding the smaller woman's shoulders as she helped her up.

Vrin was quick to help her onto an Ilu. She fell asleep on the way to the village.