100 Steps To His Heart [Published Book]

55 #100STHHEulasLetter

Hindi ko alam kung anong nakasulat dito pero parang ang bigat bigat. Sobra yung lakas ng pintig ng puso ko, kaya noong nakalabas ako at nasinagan ng araw nakahinga ako.

Naupo ako sa may labas, sa may bench malapit sa ilalim ng puno. Malakas ang ihip ng hangin, walang masyadong tao.

Huminga ako ng malalim at binuksan ang sulat.

Ito na.

[Now Playing: Not About Angels by Birdy]

Dearest Hope,

I don't know how I'll start this letter. There are so many things I want to say, but first let me apologize. I'm sorry. I know you hate me. Because of Enzo. If I were you, I will totally hate myself.

Hindi ako galit sa'yo Eula. Nasasaktan lang ako sa nangyari, pero hindi ako galit. Wala akong karapatang magalit na ikaw ang pinili at hindi ako.

But, while reading this letter, please have an open mind. Please do. I have a reason.

You see, I was dying.

Maybe while your reading this, I might be dead. So this is my final goodbye to you, Hope. I'm sorry I could not personally apologize.

Natigilan ako. Nanaas lahat ng balahibo ko. Halos binaba ko na yung sulat. Hindi ako makahinga. Kaya pala ganoon ang pakiramdam ko bago ko basahin ang sulat. Patay na si Eula? Kaya ba ganoon ang reaksyon ni Chelsea kanina? Hindi ko na kinaya, naiyak na ako. Eula, sorry. Rest in peace.

Let me tell you something, Enzo didn't leave you because he loves me. He did not. He loves YOU. Trust me, I know. And so, I'll explain everything in this letter. I'll explain everything because it feels like I owe you and Enzo the biggest and most sincere apology. It was because of me that both of you broke up, and I feel like it's also up to me to bring you two back together. And I know I don't control any of your feelings, but... I will try.

Because he needs you. The way I needed him.

You see, Enzo and I are childhood friends. When we were kids, we met at the hospital where I was diagnosed with my disease. I have ARVD. Arrythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia. It would be too weird if I explained it to you here, but the disease is about my heart.

Apparently, I had a weak heart.

Enzo too, you know.

Ah talaga? Mahina ang puso niya? Kaya ako na lang ang masasaktan ganun? Ako na lang ang magiging malakas sa ginawa niya sa akin?

Anyway, long story short, my disease was getting worse and the hospitals here in the Philippines cannot offer the medication my heart needs, so we had to transfer to the United States for my medication. I left Enzo. They say that we were ex lovers? Maybe, maybe not. We were too young back then, I don't know if that was 'love' per se, but he was my partner. We shared almost everything; he knows everything about me the same way I do to him.