Author's Note

29 7 23
                                    

Hello dear ones!

I truly missed this book and everyone here.

I have posted this random thought last year in another book, and I felt I should post it here again since it is technically about Melody. I hope you don't mind...

***

In case you didn't know, I've been on Wattpad since 2013. I only became an active Wattpad 'writer' in 2016 when I shyly started posting Melody.

It took me a couple of years of "politely" begging, knocking on every PM, joining contests and awards, trying to be as active as I could in order to have a chance to be acknowledged. To have some form of earned readership without being too intrusive.

I tried to be as honest as I could when it came to reading other people's work so I stated my limits and preferences on my profile, and tried to give genuinely constructive feedback when I could. I made so many friends, and became close to my growing group of readers, whom I appreciate so much till date. I did not leave a comment without a reply. I felt more comfortable around those familiar Wattpad profiles, than a lot of people in my life.

At some point, being 'sort of popular' was intoxicating. Addictive. Feeling safe behind a screen and being myself without having to reveal too much. Enjoying people's minds and words which, for an introvert, is much easier than face-to-face discussions. Feeling validated and encouraged by those nice people who actually cared about my writing was so rewarding. I'd become anxious if I had to wait an hour or two without receiving notifications on my books.

I used to have pins and needles, feeling this growing responsibility for the readers who waited for the next chapter. And wanted to push my limits to please those readers/friends I felt grateful for. 

It started to become an obligation, trying not to disappoint them, while juggling the difficulties in real life. But somehow, my priorities were messed up. Because 'unreal life' was more rewarding than the real thing. I preferred to escape from the confines of a plain reality to the cozy Wattpad world.

2-3 years ago, my life took an unexpected turn and I had to recalibrate my priorities. Those comfy addictions had to stop. Or at least retreat for a while. Guilt was consuming me for neglecting my life. I had to step out of my comfort zone in order to sort things out.

Right now, while I try to return into my old passion, trying to re-enter the world of writing, Wattpad was my go-to destination. But something changed drastically around here. Too many friendships lost. Too many readers disappeared. Too much melancholy of how things once had been.

On one hand, there's a bit of shame and embarrassment in wanting to reconnect with old friends/readers, asking for their support again, when I've been absent for far too long. Especially the fans of Melody, who technically stuck around for over 3 years.

On the other hand, there's hope to find a balance to do what I love without it affecting my personal life.

Currently, I'm back to writing Melody and I'm unsure if I should post new chapters again after I've lost most of the readers, or wait to complete the story first, and maybe try to find new readers along the way.

The fear of rejection is hovering around, but I will try to get over it and keep writing until I find a way.

Thank you all for listening.

Much love

Most_bay

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