Lee Tennyson

Unrequited love

Not knowing why Shawn was being a jerk I realized he hasn't fixed anything yet and Lee is gone, I was scared for him not knowing Jordan's intentions. Or else why would he leave when he knows Lee's gonna kill him?

I didn't hate Lee even when he suspected me for dad's death, I had no right to. After all I was simply his bodyguard and deep down, I think, I intrigued in his life by killing Jasmine because it was his decision to make. Jasmine was his fiancé but I was afraid as she would've ruined our empire just by portraying fake feelings for Lee. I killed her because she was a threat and can't completely deny that this was the only reason, because somewhere it was related to my jealousy issues too. I could've just told Lee, but instead I took actions as per my wish.

Lee was broken after her death; it was aching my heart to see him vulnerable but I couldn't help it. Jasmine's death was inevitable or else Lee would be dead by now. And I have no regret for killing her because if it's for Lee, then I can do anything.

Lee somehow came out of the shell after Jasmine's death but his dad died, which is still a mystery for us. We wanted to find the murderer but things were happening so fast. We had an attack and failed miserabily, the shooter escaped from right under our noses and we couldn't do anything.

Jordan was hurt and I believed he actually loved Lee by jumping in between and my heart was at ease thinking Lee is safe, but if he's going to be a rebel, should I just sit and watch while everything happens? It's still my job to look out for Lee, and I can't sit idle while Jordan is destroying Lee.

Lee was madly in love with him, but couldn't accept it yet because he thought, it's wrong to love someone else while he was crazy for Jasmine, there's guilt, anger and love raging inside him and is confused. I knew what Lee wanted, more than himself, he's having a hard time adjusting to his feelings and can't let Jordan go.

If today, Lee gets hurt, I would kill Jordan without thinking even if it's the crime in Lee's eyes. If Lee can't lose Jordan, the same goes for me, I can't lose Lee too. I was aware about my feelings and knew that it's not gonna happen, but I can't stop loving him.

I never thought, I would be so miserable seeing Lee with Jordan, it hurt's my insides when they are together. It's painful more than it was when he was with Jasmine, probably because they are the potential couple who can conquer everything. They seem to know that it's hard to live happily when their story began with loads of tragedies but none of them gave up.

Even though they haven't confessed, they still know that it's hard to live without each other. I'm no one to meddle but all I can do is check on him routinely to know if he's alright or not.

My poor unrequited love, it's never gonna end well for me as I watch Lee dating people and all I can do is hope that one day he sees me as a potential boyfriend. I don't know where I was lacking, I can cook and I've learnt cleaning too because of the punishment, but yeah, I know how to kill someone which is must needed in the kind of business we are in, I'm better than Jordan in everything and that makes me feel heart broken, because I'm still not by Lee's side despite all this.

Perhaps, I don't have the smile which melts Lee's heart, not the courage to yell at him or hit him. I don't have the courage to sleep beside him nor do I have the will to love the man who tortured me so poorly. That's where I am lacking, because I can't fall for a man who would lock me in a room and beat the shit out of me.

I'm not Jordan, probably that the biggest reason. Lee was making me loose my sanity as he only hindered my mind every now and then and I can't stop forgetting about him.

The night when he was drunk and slept on his table because of sorrow, I had a really hard time picking him because it was Lee's scent, very close to my body and my mind was blank. He kept on getting on my nerves by murmuring Jasmine's name. I picked him up in my arms and felt my heart pounding terribly, his innocent face was buried on my chest and I couldn't look at him. I put him to bed and covered him with a blanket, it was hard for me to get so close to the man I always wanted.

"Why aren't you mine?" I said in a low voice while caressing his hair, he gripped onto my hand and was smiling in comfort, my heart skipped a beat as I saw his lips turning into a curve.

"I know, it's hard but I want to wait for you. It's hard Lee, but I'll wait for several seasons until one day I'm old and on the verge of dying. I would still wait for you, because I can't be a Cole, without a Lee." I spoke again slowly letting my emotions out, I thought it would be okay, I thought I would be okay seeing him with someone else, but I was not, I was vulnerable and a lost case.

Jasmine was dead and I somehow was excited that I can finally confess but the whole new story began since Jordan stepped into this house. I fall back down hitting myself hard on the ground as I take each step towards Lee, there are so many barriers and I haven't crossed single one of them yet, instead created more distance between us.

He won't let me forget neither can I, I see him every day with him and I can't even put a fake smile on as they talk hand in hand. I can't fall out of love, I'm in love with Lee.

I grabbed the key and drove off; I had no intention to confess and face but wanted to see if he was alright. He should be or else Jordan's gone for good now, I hated Jordan, more than I had resentment towards Jasmine, but Lee couldn't even figure that out.

The journey never felt this long and I was growing impatient, Lee should be okay or else I don't know how am I going to live, I can live with his hatred, I can live while seeing him loving someone else but I can't live without him.

He needs to be here, so that I can function properly. Nothing hurts like one-sided love; it tends to live inside and exists only in one's mind. No one else knows the suffering, its unnoticed and painful. Although, Lee knew about my feelings but did he care? That's one-sided love, agonizing, people die without bullets and wounds.

I reached at the cemetery and tried to find them, I couldn't see Lee's car and panic rushed in my veins, I walked looking here and there, finding something that can give me a head start. I saw Lee sitting on the ground pointing his gun at his head, all my senses stopped working and I couldn't think what I should do. There was no sign of Jordan and that was the reason for Lee's vulnerability probably. I took my gun out aiming at his gun to stop him, I couldn't shout or else he might press the button in fear. I fired keeping my body calm and the gun fell from his hands, in no time I saw myself running towards him and slapped him hard on his face, what happened and was he so pathetic, what if I hadn't arrived on time?

"What were you doing?" I yelled in anger and hugged him tightly as he cried horribly in my arms burying his head in my chest.

"Why aren't you mine?" I spoke again because in no world I would've led him at this stage where he wanted to kill himself.