nothing last forever

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its been one week since the ultrasound and everything has been good. we agreed to name our little boy Cj. for Colson junior of course. we thought of girl names we liked 'Camryn, Carrie, Candie, and Celeste'. we mainly liked Celeste. Rook has been going on a few dates with no detail. every time i ask questions he shuts down. i think he knows he has to leave her in a few days. we are going to Boston next and im so excited i love Boston.

"im so excited for Boston kells i can't explain it"

"just don't do anything that can hurt Cj and baby to be named"

i laughed and gave him a kiss on the nose. i've been doing that a lot. kells doesn't mind though. i got off the couch and wen't to the tiny bathroom and brushed my hair. i did my business and went to take a nap. i've been so tired lately. doing things for 5 people is so tiring. kells is a good boyfriend but he needs to learn to do things. like clean up his messes, pick up his dirty clothes, make sure nothing sharps on the floor and stuff like that. i won't be able to take care of him forever i hope he knows that. i slept for an hour and woke up to no kells. i looked at my phone. nothing. i looked for a sweet note. nothing. he left nothing. i hope he's not doing something stupid. the door opened and theres kells. drunk high kells. i was only asleep for an hour!

"kells what the fuck!"

"sorry princess i needed a drink and some weed"

"jesus kells we have two babies on the way you can't be doing that shit"

he looked disappointed in himself. i fucked up.

"im sorry kells, im just so tired"

"no, listen don't tell me shit i know okay, dont be so bitchy"

"what?"

i was in shock. 'bitchy'? he's never said that. ever. he's just high and drunk. god i wish he would stop. if he ever talks to Cj and our little girl like that he will be a dead man.

"fuck kells, you have to stop this shit with weed and strong beer, when your like this you just, you just don't fucking think and it scares me"

"i don't think? are you fucking with me? i make the money i work i do all this shit for you and you say i dont think and do shit? your fucked up y/n"

i turned red in embarrassment. he's right i dont work. but i can't. we are on the road what am i supposed to do quit my job every 5 days? fuck no.

"watch yourself im caring your kids, i could leave right no and not come back but i love you! okay, you need to stop with the weed and the beers and the wine. its to much. your gonna fucking kill yourself one day and leave me. so stop the shit. and don't think im fucking with you. im not"

"get out y/n"

"what?"

"GET THE FUCK OUT"

i had tears running down my face. i grabbed a suitcase and grabbed all my clothes and ran to rooks bus with tears down my face. fuck. nothing last forever.

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