the delicate balance (of me and you) | tsireya x y/n

Aftermath (chapter twenty)

notes: i dont really know where to go with this fic, so im prob going to only write a few more chapters and when the next movie comes out ill write a sequel :) lmk if theres anything else you want to see me write! also, do y'all want some smut bc ill give my readers what they want so 😭

You ride Alo'oa slowly and somberly, your head downturned, watching the water. You look down at the field of glowing yellow anemone patterning the seafloor, and see how the ripples from Alo'oa's fins distort them. You try to ignore what's happening - you don't want to think about saying goodbye to your father for the last time, seeing his face for the last time. Tears form in your eyes as you think about how he will slowly fade from your memory, until you can barely remember what he looks like. But you're comforted by the fact that at least you can visit him at the cove of the ancestors, and see him any time you want to. Tsireya leans her head forwards onto your shoulder; she's sitting behind you on Alo'oa. You lay your head on top of hers, finding comfort in her closeness to you. You pinch your mouth closed, holding back your tears, as you remember your father's last words to Tsireya; 'treat my daughter right.' And now he'll never see us together, you think, anguished. And then it's time.

You slip off of Alo'oa, Tsireya beside you as you pat him gently. He presses his head against your hand, and you see a deep sadness in his eyes, too. He could feel your grief through tsaheylu, and he wants to comfort you. You pat him again, but there's nothing he can do to make you feel better; there's nothing anyone could do. You swim around to the back of Alo'oa, where your father lies, in a puddle of pink petals. You can't hold back your tears anymore as you see his still face, his eyes closed and mouth curving into a gentle smile. It feels wrong, you think, the tears coming harder. Tsireya places a hand on you shoulder, and you turn to see her damp face, her own tears falling. She pulls you in for a hug, and you lean against her, your breath slowing as you feel her steady heartbeat. You breathe in deeply, trying to slow your tears. And then you pull away from her, preparing yourself. You take a shaky breath as you approach your father. All your attempts at not crying have failed; your tears flow steadily down your face, smudging your face paint.

Jake looks at you, concerned, as you reach him. He was your father's best friend, so he'll be carrying his body to the seafloor with you. You avoid Jake's eyes as you clasp your father's hand between your two, holding it close to you. You look at your father's face, remembering all the times he laughed, smiled, cried, yelled. Now, every memory of him you'll treasure. Your tears drip onto his body as you gently slide him into the water. The petals part as his body creates small waves in the water. You take a deep breath, and then lower your head under the water with Jake. You cup your father's head, holding onto his arm with your other hand. You and Jake carry him down, delivering him to the field of anemones that will consume his body, transferring his energy back to Eywa. 

You halt just before the seafloor, just needing a final second to say goodbye. You look at the peaceful expression on your father's face, a lump in your throat, and you try to preserve the moment in your memory. The last time you'll see his face in real life. And then you let him go, Jake doing the same. As he's absorbed by the yellow glowing anemones, you sign your final words to him; 'I see you.' And when you return to the surface, you can't bring yourself to worry about how you're going to live without him; all you can think about or feel is the deep soul-eating grief that you feel. You look at Tsireya, and as your eyes meet hers you know she can tell. And then she's there, and you feel the warmth of her body against yours as you hug her tightly. I have to keep living. For her.

* * *

The next day, you're sitting by your marui pod. Last night, you slept there alone. You remember how wrong it felt, how you struggled to fall asleep, and ended up watching the stars move across the sky until you finally dozed off. You sit with your feet in the water, watching the breeze ripple over the surface of the ocean. You listen to the calming sounds of the water as you try to avoid thinking at all. 'Hey,' says someone behind you. Tsireya. You turn and look up at her, smiling. 'Hey, Reya.' 'Are you okay?' she asks, sitting behind you and wrapping an arm around you comfortingly. You lean against her, and think for a second. 'I - I don't think so. But I think that I will be,' you say honestly. She nods. 'Okay.' And you sit in silence, watching the water together.

Suddenly, you hear footsteps behind you, and look up to see Jake. 'Hey,' he says, nodding to Tsireya as he looks at you. 'Um, hey,' you say, confused. 'Tsireya, can I talk to y/n alone for a moment?' he asks, and you shoot her a perplexed look. She raises her eyebrows, but nods to Jake and walks off. She doesn't go far, though; you see her hide behind your hut so she can eavesdrop, and you hide a smirk from Jake. His face turns serious quickly. 'Y/n, you saved our son. Neytiri and I will forever be grateful for that. And I just wanted to tell you, you're welcome to come live with us,' he says, smiling nervously. You're touched, and think for a second before nodding. 'Thank you,' you say softly. You knew you couldn't sustain living on your own, and this is more that you could've hoped for. 

'You're like our daughter now,' he says, ruffling your hair affectionately. You grin up at him. 'Okay, I'll leave you and Tsireya be,' he says, smirking as he looks in the direction of your hut. You blush. 'Uh, thanks.' You watch him walk away, and after a minute you yell out, 'you can come out now.' Tsireya emerges, smiling sheepishly. 'Sorry.' 'No, you're fine,' you say as she sits back down next to you. 'It's different, isn't it?' she says thoughtfully. 'Yeah,' you say, looking down at the water. 'But I'll get used to it.' She smiles gently, and cups your face with her soft hand. 'I love you,' she whispers, and you look up, meeting her eyes. 'I love you too,' you murmur. And your lips meet hers, and you think, as long as I have her, everything's going to be okay.