I hate what I've become(SCP X demon slayer)

A plan

Third person:
It had been about 7 months since Iguro was taken hostage. Everyone was back to normal for the most part, but the hashira could tell that everything was very off. Without Iguro's cold presence, it was quiet, no, a certain hashira was quiet. Much quieter. The normally bubbly and cheerful Kanroji now always kept to herself, only conversing with her fellow colleagues if necessary. Everyone could sense the obvious change in the love hashira and tried to help. They were all somewhat worried about the girl, knowing how much Iguro meant to her

Tomioka P.O.V.
I was heading back to my estate from a long day of missions. The sky faded into different shades of orange and yellow as the day transitioned into the evening. I walked down the hallway of the butterfly estate out into the garden, and found Kanroji standing there sniffling. I observed her for a moment and sighed. I knew how much of a toll this whole situation was taking on her, the change in her personality was obvious. I walked up behind her putting I hand on her shoulder as they would rise and fall from the sobbing. She quickly turned around wide eyed, but her face quickly relaxed when she realized it was only me. "H-hi Tomioka-San!" She greeted me, wiping the tears from her face and forcing a smile. "Hi..." I muttered in an awkward tone. I never had the best social skills, even when Sabito was still alive. "What brings you here?" She asked, trying to sound cheerful. I looked down. "I was heading back to my estate..." I said quietly. She nodded her head with that same forced smile. There was suddenly an awkward silence. I looked up at her. Even though it didn't seem like it, I cared about her. I cared about all my colleagues but the majority of them think I'm arrogant. Even though Iguro would frequently mock me, I never held anything against him. I only made the proposal to hold off on a rescue because I was thinking of all of the risks involved. It pained me to say such words, but I had to do it. I took a deep breath. "Kanroji...?" I asked. She looked up at me. "Yes Tomioka?" She responded. "Are you....are you okay?" I asked while tilting my head. She stopped smiling wide eyed. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead lowered her head giving a look of sadness. She remained silent. "You miss him." I said. She only nodded in response. "He made me feel like I was finally normal, he made me feel beautiful...and now...he's gone...."she said with dull eyes almost resembling my own. Even though I didn't express it, I knew exactly what Kanroji was feeling. I remember the pain and guilt I felt after loosing my sister and best friend. It's one of the most painful things you can experience. "Look, I know that this isn't easy especially for you, but you need to move on no matter how bad it hurts. I'm not trying to be cruel- JUST MOVE ON LIKE THAT HUH!?" She shouted cutting me off. My eyes widened a little and I stopped talking. She thew her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean that really....it's just... I've been kinda snappy lately....sorry.." she said in a quiet but apologetic tone. "It's fine.." I responded. I put a hand on her shoulder. "What I'm trying to say is, sometimes you need to accept loss in order to move forward. I'm aware of how much Iguro meant to you, and I'm sorry that this is how things turned out, but if you keep holding on to all of this sorrow you're going to get nowhere. Believe me, I've experienced this before." I explained as I gave her a sympathetic look. She remained silent as she looked at me teary eyed. "I know it's just that....I've just been thinking..." she began to say. I raised an eyebrow. "Go on." I encouraged. She took a deep breath. "What if Iguro is still alive?" She said confidently. "That's very unlikely." I quickly responded. "Still! There's no evidence that he's dead either! We can still search for him!" She yelled. "You know master would never allow us- we can do it in secret!" She cut me off. My eyes widened, mostly because Kanroji is the last person you'd expect to disobey master. I thought for a moment. She wasn't wrong, Iguro could still be alive, but where would we even start looking? "I'm not totally against it, but we need a plan, we can't just go into this blind sighted." I explained. Well, we could start in Osaka and then move on to Tokyo to see if we find any traces of him there." She proposed. "What kind of traces?" I asked. She then gave me an embarrassed look. "W-well, I've kind of memorized Iguro's scent and I could r-recognize it anywhere!" She said blushing. I found that a bit surprising. "There's also kaburamaru! Maybe he's not with Iguro!" She said shouting slightly. I nodded. "Okay, I'm in. Will start searching for Iguro in 3 days, everyday after our missions." I replied. Her eyes lit up. "Thank you so much Tomioka! You don't know how much this means to me!" She yelled while leaning forward to hug me. I was shocked by her actions and I tensed up. She quickly lept off of me. "Okay, not a hugger!" She said nervously. "Anyway, we'll meet back here in 3 days time, then will begin the search." I said. She gave me a serious nod before walking away.