The teacher's baby

15.

Owen

Noelle has gone home and Hayden and I are now eating dinner in the kitchen.

"So, how does it feel to be back in school on Monday?" I ask while cutting a piece of the fish that's on my plate.

I glance over at Hayden who is sitting opposite from me. He finishes chewing and looks at me.

"It feels okay, I guess." he says and
takes a sip out of his glass of milk.

I give him an empathetic smile and put down the utensils on the side of my plate.
"It may be a little hard now in the beginning, to get back to how things were before. It's probably gonna take some time to adjust, but you're gonna get there. Step by step. I promise. And I just want you to know that you're not alone. I am here, you got Noelle and all the other teachers know about your situation. So there's no need to worry. It's gonna be alright."

"Yeah...thanks" he says and smiles slightly.

************************************

That night I wake up to Hayden crying and this time he even makes grabby hands towards me. He probably had a nightmare again. So I put him on my lap and hold him close in a warm embrace, while whispering sweet nothings until he calms down.

Before laying him down again, I check his diaper. It's soaked. So I carry him over to the nursery and put him down on the changing table. Just as I do so, he starts to cry again while reaching out for me. My heart shatters at the sight.

I lift him up and he instantly clings onto me for dear life.
What has gotten into him? Has he started to slip? Maybe that's what this is.
That would actually explain a lot, because he is never like this otherwise.

"Hey...shh...shh...it's okay" I say calmly while stroking his back " I just need to get you out of that dirty diaper. Okay?"

Hayden has stopped crying but there is no sign of him letting go any time soon.
I try to get him off of me but he just whines and buries his face into my neck.

"Awe...sweetie... I'm just gonna change you and after that you can come right back into my arms. I promise. So can you please let go for daddy?"

I look at him, trying to see any reaction from his side and suddenly he makes a small movement with his head which I think is him nodding.

"Okay..."He says quietly without looking up at me.

The way he says it makes my heart ache. He sounds so hurt and I hate it when he's sad, but I have to do this. I can't just let him stay in that soaked diaper. So I'll better take this chance before he changes his mind.

I stroke his hair a few times and then I put him down on the changing table without any resistance.

"There we go. Good job." I praise

During the rest of the weekend Hayden slips in and out of little space, but it's not that hard to notice the difference.
Because when he is out of little space he usually tries to keep his distance, while in little space he is clingy and wants to be close to me at all times.

I'm not surprised, I knew that this time could come when Hayden would slip and after everything he has been through he is sure in need of some extra love and care. And as his daddy I'll be happy to be the one to give him just that.