↳ ❝ you are just like a winter flower that tries to survive in the cruel and cold winter.
you are making your favourite flower red spider lily honour ❞
↳ ❝ you know the red spider lily flower stands for the place where two l...
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𓆉
❝ his scent was my new oxygen ❞
•
si-yeon's p.o.v
it is almost two weeks ago since i got injured. it hurt a lot at the start but i was getting better. as uk, dang-gu and cho-yeon had heard about it, they were all really concerned especially uk. he was always like a bigger brother for me like dang-gu. he always cheered me up when i was upset. he was sympathetic and understood me every time like no one else. uk was my big brother and i his little sister.
these few last days i had to recover, i had notice how he behaved in front of mudeok. and it was kind of suspicious. i had the guess that he liked her. i hoped she would make him happy.
since i had to recover i went often to the forest that was near the trainings room. it wasn't that smart that i always went alone but i couldn't stand someone being 24 hours around me. even if it was yul.
he was of course against it but he couldn't stop me. he sometimes came, as well, when i was here. i always sat in front of the lake just like now. it was relaxing.
i looked in front of me at my reflection that was created due to the water. my pitch black hair and my pale skin were so different like myself. the person i saw was so foreign. i never liked myself.
i tried to like myself but it was easier to love someone else than myself. i tried to forgive myself but it was easier to forgive someone else than myself.
but trying might be my only option. i want to love myself and i want to forgive myself. but to want something didn't make it true.
it was really warm so i pulled my sleeves up. my plan was it to wash my face with the cold water but instead i got a good look at all my scars. every scar had a different story. the biggest one is from the fight against my older brother. it was a physically and mentally emotional hard fight. i remembered it like it was yesterday.
his young body got used for a soul shifter. it was cruel. we both learned at a young age to fight. our father trained us so we could become as successful like he was later. but the plan was crossed from a person i had never found. i never found out who was the soul shifter that used my brother. i was sure that he was meanwhile dead. i couldn't imagine that a soul shifter survives seven whole years.
my brother got mad directly after the transformation and killed my parents. i won't forgot the memory of their blood on the wands of our old house. i was only thirteen and my brother fifteen.
he was the kindest person i had ever seen. he always helped me with everything. i wouldn't say that he could be changeable but i would say that uk had a place like him in my heart.
i thought that i would knew well about my feelings but i was wrong. since few weeks i am not so sure anymore. i always thought that yul would be just a friend of mine but these last days there was something strong that i felt.
i didn't know what it was. every time i am with him i feel safe and secure. like nothing could harm me in this world. i forgot all my worries and it felt like nothing could tear us apart. could it had been love?
even if, i didn't wanted this love. love was caused to fail. it never ended good.
even if yul liked me back, i wouldn't want to be with him. i knew it would be hard to love me and i would only hurt him. is it really true love if i am so egoistic to ruin him with me? we don't need both of us to fell.
,, si-yeon are you here again?", i heard the voice of him.
,, yes why are you here again, as well?", i asked him a counter question.
he chuckled a bit and sat next to me. he scanned me with his glare as his arms stopped at my arms. my eyes widened a bit. i completely forgot that my sleeves were up. my arms weren't something i am embarrassed of i just didn't want anyone to see it.
i saw his concerned gaze and how he pitied me. and i hated it. i thought he would want an explanation of me how i got those but he didn't. instead he pulled me towards him and hold me tight.
in his embrace it felt like i could breathe again. so i breathed. i smelled his scent.
❝ his scent was my new oxygen ❞
even if i didn't want it, i couldn't stop myself. my arms automatically hugged him back. i was like a doll who couldn't control herself. and i hated it.
i just had to control myself so i broke the hug and looked at the lake. in the lake were koi fishes that swam the whole day around. i wish i could be so carefree like them.
,, what are you thinking about", i asked yul and looked at him.
as i looked at him the sun shone on his face. he was truly beautiful. his face was so perfect. that was the difference between us. he was a perfection and i was an imperfection.
,, just thinking about us", he said and let me confused.
,, us? what are you exactly thinking about?", i questioned interested.
,, you know, i think we grew these last few days more together", was his answer.
i just nodded but there was an inner voice in me that had a question. ,, is it a good thing?".
he chuckled and answered me. ,, of course it is. every time i am with you my soul feels so light. with you there is a warmth around me. there will be always a tomorrow and tomorrow we are always together, i promise ".
