Welcome to the Jungle, Sweetheart

First Impressions

          "Hey, Michelle, this is-" Axl was interrupted mid sentence just as he was about to introduce her to his friends, Steven rushed out the door and swallowed Michelle in a very affectionate hug.

"Michelle! Hi! I'm Steven! Axl's friend! He doesn't like me very much but sometimes he tolerates me! I've heard so much about you! It's so great to meet you! We're gonna have so much fun! You're gonna love it here!"

Axl kind of had to pull Steven off of Michelle so he didn't suffocate her with his embrace. Axl sighed, "Yeah, Michelle this is Steven, he's a hugger."

Steven smiled sweetly. "I am a hugger! So if you ever need a hug I am always happy to give you one!"

Michelle smiled, and narrowed her eyes at Axl, "Don't make that face, I'm a hugger too," she said, accepting a second hug from Steven. Axl was unaware he was making a face but he did his best to try and fix it.

"Here, come on inside, Steven would you help the pregnant lady with her bags?" Steven was happy to help, whether Axl asked him to or not.

Michelle side-eyed Axl, "I'm not even a month pregnant you know, the baby's as big as a poppy seed."

Axl smiled, "Awww, a wittle poppy seed child. Could you imagine having a baby that small? Just walk around with it in your pocket? Nobody would ever even know you were pregnant. You would probably lose it in the fabric of your shirt."

Michelle grinned, "Yeah, well, after about forty weeks it'll be the size of a pumpkin. That won't be as much fun."

Axl gasped, "A PUMPKIN!? DAMN! I MEAN, HOLY FUCKING FUCK, THOSE THINGS ARE FUCKING HEAVY!"

Steven perked up, "Yeah but isn't pumpkin just the best nickname for a baby?" Michelle nodded with a smile.

"It is."

Steven left to bring some of Michelle's stuff down to the now thoroughly cleaned and insulated basement. Izzy and Duff were sitting on the couch in the living room eating pizza and drinking some kind of liquor. Izzy was reading a book and Duff was watching a hockey game. Then Axl wondered if they even had anything at all for Michelle to drink that didn't have alcohol in it.

"Michelle, this is Izzy and Duff, they're the parents that pretend like they don't like each other around us kids then go and have sex when we're asleep."

Izzy picked his head up from his book and replied sarcastically, "Oh yeah, my husband's a real nice lover even though his fucking feet fall off the end of the bed." Izzy glared at Duff and Michelle acknowledged Duff's height, making him look tall even when he was slouching on the couch. Izzy continued, "But I'm worried because my son keeps beating up his step-brother and makes out with the younger one."

Axl grinned and turned to Michelle, whispering humorously, "He's talking about Steven."

Duff smiled and leaned towards Izzy, lowering his voice, "Honey, I think we need a divorce."

Michelle looked around, "I thought you said you had four roommates? I've only seen three." Axl looked around, wondering where Slash was. Izzy looked over the couch, "Oh yeah, where is that fluffball?"

Michelle wondered why Izzy looked behind the couch as if he expected him to just be laying there. Was that a common thing around here? Should she anticipate to regularly find humans around here sleeping behind furniture?

As if somebody blew a dog whistle, a sleep-dazed Slash came trudging out of his room, wearing his ripped up, dark gray skinny jeans, and not even bothering to put a shirt on. Axl could've hit him on the head.

Slash stopped on his journey to the kitchen to turn around and he realized he hadn't introduced himself yet. "Oh, sorry," Slash said shyly, looking down at his feet. He scuffled his feet bashfully, acknowledging his lack of upper body clothing. Axl sighed in frustration.

Michelle didn't seem to be bothered by his outfit choice though and just smiled sweetly, "Hi, I'm Michelle."

Slash's embarrassment eased a little at her gentleness, "I'm Slash."

Michelle paused and Axl saw something flicker in her eyes, but she quickly shook it off. She gave him a sly remark regarding his shirtlessness, "Well, when I was told I would get to meet everybody I guess I didn't expect to meet so much of you so soon."

Axl was pretty certain Slash's face turned red, he was just well hidden by his mane of curly hair, "Yeah, uh, sorry about that. I just um, kinda forgot you were coming today." Then Slash went back to his room to put a shirt on.

"Come on, I'll show you where you'll stay."

Axl led her down the staircase to the basement. The wooden boards creaked and groaned under their footsteps, and Axl was a little wary not to step on a nail, even after he explicitly remembered telling Duff a thousand times to hammer down all stray nails. Steven had passed by them in the hallway after having brought some of her stuff down. Axl was just starting to talk about where everything was when she caught him off guard, "Axl, I thought Slash was a car?"

Axl froze.

"Shit."