Amnesia

Harry

The first time I called Louis after we broke up was in the middle of the night. I'd had a rough day and he was the only one who could make me feel better. I needed to see him. I missed him so much. Even though I had broken up with him my heart hadn't gotten the message. My heart knew he was my comfort person, my protector, and even after all we'd been through he was my friend. He didn't say no instead he told me to come over. He wasn't lying. He never told me no. That became a regular occurrence. I called him and asked him if I could come over and he never said no. We didn't talk about us. We would have sex then I would leave him.

The memories had all come flooding back in in middle of the night and I almost went to his house at three am and confronted him. I was angry with him although I'm not sure why. He hadn't told me the truth about us because he feared how I would handle it. I had handled it just as he suspected. The knowledge of how we had left things back in April hurt.

"You've started this relationship on your own?" he asked as we lay on his bed.

"I guess, I kinda did," I admitted to him even though I didn't want to. He still deserved to know. "I think I owe it to myself to see if I can make a real go of it with her. We will probably have to stop seeing each other."

He turned to look at me but it wasn't just any look. It was a full on glare. His face was red and he was pissed. "You're seriously gonna give it a go with a woman? I thought you and I were working toward getting back together? I thought..." he stopped. "Ya know, just go Harry. Just go and don't come back this time. I'm so stupid to have let you back in. But, I won't let you dump me again, this time I will do the dumping. We are finished, done. What we had is done for good." He was yelling at me even though I was lying next to him.

I sat up. "Ok," I said and picked my clothes up from the floor. I shrugged my shirt on and stood. "I'm sorry," I told him.

"No you're not," he challenged. "If you were the least bit sorry you wouldn't be doing this at all. You'd see what's right in front of you." He was fighting back tears. "So, get dressed and get the fuck out."

"I'm going," I told him.

"Give me the bracelet, I don't want you getting any ideas and pushing the fucking button," he told me.

"It's mine Lou," I argued.

"It's mine," he said. "Take the fucking thing off or I'll take it off you, I swear to God Styles."

I knew he meant it when he said it so I touched the clasp and released it from my arm. I could have handed it to him, yes. But, I was feeling rather petty as well as pissed off so I threw it at him and it hit him on the cheek.

"Motherfucker!" he growled. "You started this shit so don't be a little bitch about it yeah?"

"I wish I'd never met you," I told him. "You are my biggest mistake."

"And you're mine," he told me. "A waste of ten fucking years! Get the fuck out of my house and don't make me say it again or I'll throw you out the fucking window."

When that memory came back I understood what Louis meant by saying we didn't end on good terms and I would hate him all over again when my memory returned. I didn't hate him but damnit if I didn't like him. He threatened to throw me out a window. Our relationship had gotten so violent and we had become toxic to each other. He doesn't know it but it had nothing to do with Stella. Not at that point anyhow. What we had become wasn't a relationship at all. We had become fuck buddies and we needed to be away from each other for a while.

Louis was not a mistake though. I had gone through so many emotions in the past several hours and I had waited until ten am to go to him. I had calmed down by the time I got ready to go.