Forever & Always (Forever & Always #1) (boyxboy)

Another Door Opens

"I always wondered what it would be like to help a kid. Like I tried to do with Andrea. It's different when you know you created that kid in some way." He smiled kind of shyly. "Still feels weird though."

We both laughed. A calm passed between us. Something easy and simple. 

"Weird is one way of describing it I guess. Crazy would be another word," I said.

"I couldn't agree more. Did you every think you would find out who your biological father is?" He asked me quizzically. 

No. That's one thing I never expected to find out. I always imagined she didn't know herself. She slept with enough men it would be hard to figure out which of them were my father. 

"Never. I would have guessed she didn't know either. I mean the number of men she slept with would have made anyone question if she knew herself. It didn't bother me that much. Being alone was not something I found that hard. I was always alone before I started school." I broke off into thought and his hand on my shoulder made me start.

"Then Noah came along. He used to ask about my dad. It was easy to be honest with him. After. he found out about Andrea he never left me alone in school. He had me around more time than his parents." Silently I added "our parents" and Chris smiled.

He looked at the wall when he started talking again. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you grew up. If I'd known... I would never, ever have let her treat you the way she did. But I guess in a way you're glad I didn't raise you."

Something caught his attention and I looked in the direction and smiled. "Noah's a fine boy, he loves you. That's easy to see. I wouldn't want to take any of this away from you. Your family. They love you. But I would like it if I could be a part of that family."

"If that's okay with you." He added hastily.

His voice was strained. He was obviously finding it hard, to get his point across. He wanted to be a part of my life. I wanted that too. He was a man who got me in a lot of ways and yet he was practically a stranger. 

"I'd love for us to become family. You are not what I expected my biological dad to be like at all. I expected a drug addict or a pimp. It's nice because, for years I had no dad. Now I have two. A mom who loves me and a boyfriend."

I added in hastily. "And an aunt. Never forget Rachel. She would easily murder you with her eyes. Trust me, I've known her for years. The girls are just like her in that sense. They never let you forget them."

We both smiled.

Maybe it's time to move on. Life wont stand still and now I have so much life left to live. I have to let go of all the crap and move on. Maybe Chris can move on with me? Maybe.

"Would you like to do something with me? Today." I clarified the last part so there would be no mistaking when I wanted to do this.

"Yeah, if that's what you want. I mean... You know... I guess... Well what I am trying to ask is, wouldn't you rather do something with Noah?" He was flushed by the end and I had to smile at him, we were so alike it was scary.

I smiled at him. He moved nervously on the bed. "It's something that Noah wouldn't understand. But you would. I want you to bring me back to the house. We can move on. Together."

For a few minutes he just looked at me like I had slapped him. Something in the way he stiffened told me he was not enthusiastic about bringing me back to the house. I wasn't expecting him to jump up and down. But I also had not expected his reaction.

"Move on? I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing in that house that will help you move on. I don't see how it could it could help you in any way shape or form. I really don't. How would it?"