OSC Incorrect Quotes from a Generator

Glowfork (glowstick x pitchfork{AIB})

Pitchfork: Glowstick was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Glowstick: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Pitchfork: Glowstick, you ate a chair.

Pitchfork: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Glowstick: Mind your language!
Pitchfork: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Glowstick:
Pitchfork: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Pitchfork: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Glowstick: You're like 15 years old
Pitchfork: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

Glowstick: This is bothering me.
Pitchfork: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Glowstick: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

Glowstick: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Pitchfork: What did you do?
Glowstick: Nobody died.
Pitchfork: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Glowstick: Change is inedible.
Pitchfork: Don't you mean inevitable?
Glowstick, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Pitchfork: This is such a bad idea.
Glowstick: Then why are you coming along?
Pitchfork: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Pitchfork: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Glowstick, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Pitchfork, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Glowstick, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK

Pitchfork: Is something burning?
Glowstick: Just my love for you.
Pitchfork: Glowstick, the toaster is on fire.

Glowstick: I was arrested for being too cool.
Pitchfork: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Glowstick: You love me, right, Pitchfork?
Pitchfork: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Glowstick, tending to Pitchfork's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Pitchfork: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Glowstick: Here's some advice
Pitchfork: I didn't ask for any
Glowstick: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Glowstick: I can explain.
Pitchfork: Can you?
Glowstick: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Glowstick, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Pitchfork: How?
Glowstick: How what?
Pitchfork: How could they be worse?
Glowstick: They couldn’t, I lied.
Pitchfork:

Pitchfork, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Glowstick: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Pitchfork, with the tone of someone who is used to Glowstick: Outstanding.
Pitchfork: This is what I’m talking about people.

Pitchfork: *Accidentally hits Glowstick in the face*
Pitchfork: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Pitchfork: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Glowstick: Y-yes! *crying*