Hardin and Tessa The Missing year

2

Hardin

Happy fucking birthday to me another year gone by as I have heard multiple times today but not from the person I actually wanted to hear from it's still 8:30 so I still have a little bit of hope I will hear from her.

I didn't do much today I'm living In Chicago still so I don't really know many people and well I refuse to meet more people because why do I have to.I didn't really do anything today I just went to a few meetings I had to do and then came home ordered myself some food and am now laying in bed watching Friends I have seen every episode thanks to Tessa and each one I watch I can remember all the stuff she used to point out and laugh about..oh I'm really a sad bastard.

I do force Landon to tell me what Tessa is doing even though he goes on about respecting her privacy or whatever he always tells me in the end.
And I don't think about Tessa every second of the day just a good maybe half the day,I can't help it I fucked up and I know we are on civil terms but it's not the same we have barely spoken 100 words to each other in the past 6 months and I know she has some sort of relationship with Robert, Landon tries to tell me there just friends but I just can't believe him.I haven't been with Tessa since the last time we had sex before everything blew up between us,I have had girls try now that more people know me ,desperate people are throwing themselves at me like I would even give them a chance,I might sound crazy but it's the truth.

It's 10:45 now that's means it's 11:45 in New York right now and Tessa doesn't stay up that late she always is freaky to go asleep at this time or maybe she is already asleep maybe she is out with Robert maybe...ok Hardin stop it,just as I get over my thoughts my phones starts to ring Tessa I smile knowing she has been thinking about this all day trying to decide if to call me or not.Damn it I stare at her name to long the call ends "please pick back up"I say to myself as I call back "Hardin hi sorry I hope your wore not alseep"her voice softly says "no I wasn't I was up..my phone was just on silent"I say and she doesn't say anything for a moment "Happy birthday sorry I was meant to call earlier but I just got caught up in work"I know she is lying she just has been overthinking all day "Thank you it means a lot it really does Tessa"I tell her and I can hear her soft breaths through the phone "your welcome did you do anything nice today ?"

"Umm no just did some work and just ordered some food and I am watching Friends"She let's put a small laugh "Friends"she questions me "it's grown on me ok"She laughs again it's so good hearing that "How have things been"I ask her "it's been good I'm still taking classes and working at the restaurant and I have a place to join NYU in the fall"

"Tess..Tessa"I correct myself "that's great I'm proud"

"How is the book press coming along"she has me a bit more serious then the last questions "It's been good a few crazy people who are obsessed but other then that good"I tell her "I'm proud of you to Hardin I know it's been hard and I didn't react well at first,I honestly still don't know how I feel about it to be honest but"I hear a glass clink she is definitely having a glass or maybe bottle of wine "I'm glad your doing good"she stops herself "Are you drinking Tessa on a school night"I tease her "just..one glass"

"Just one"

"Ok maybe..half Hardin don't judge"she pretends to whine "I'm not judging wine Tessa is-"she stops me "Wine Tessa is what"she is teasing me

"Wine Tessa is one of my favourite Tessa's"I hear her take another sip "why is that"she asks me "it just is"I don't want to say because every time she drinks wine she gets really horny and irresistible "horny"she reads my mind "Tessa Lynn Young"

"Hardin Allen Scott"she teases me "ugh this isn't good"she says "we are only talking"I remind her "I know..but..never mind"she stops herself "what is it"

"It's..been awhile..you know since I..done anything" she shyly says "Me to"

"Really"she says with a bit of happiness "was I the last person"She asks me "yes that time in New York"I tell her honestly "Same"I'm so happy to hear that

Tessa

Right now in the moment I don't regret calling Hardin hearing that he hasn't gone near anyone has made me so happy maybe it's me been selfish but I know he feels the same,maybe the wine is making me feel more happier then I should "Tessa are you still there"

"Oh ye sorry..I was just thinking"I tell him "what's going on it that head of yours"
"I'm..im happy you haven't gone near anyone because I know it's selfish of me to even feel like that when we are not even together right now but the thought of you at some..it makes my skin crawl"

"I feel the same way"he tells me and it makes me feel relieved "good so I'm not the only selfish one" I laugh and so does he "no your not"
"I miss you"I blurt out I put the wine glass down that's enough "I miss you to Tess"Everything he says just makes me want him "hopefully..we could meet up soon I'm coming to New York in about 3 weeks"he ask me yes yes yes of course we can meet up you can sleep in my bed with me in my apartment is what my heart is telling me to say but no I can't I have to be sensible "Ye sure"I say I'm trying not to sound desperate "I'm going to go to bed now"I tell him "goodnight Tessa"

"Good night Hardin"We both linger on the phone for a minute and I'm actually not sure which one of us hung up the phone.I can't help the few tears that fall,sometimes I wish we wore back in Washington just us..well it wasn't just us I have to remind myself that everyone was involved in our relationship but those times when it was just me and Hardin I miss I do but we are not the same people anymore we have to grow up we have to grown on our own we wore to dependent on each other and it wasn't right,I know the wine is really making me think into things but I can't help it when I called him tonight I didn't know if he would answer a small part of me knew he would but I just wanted to hear his voice.

Hardin

Will I ever get over this girl no I physically will never be able to and if she never takes me back I'll be single for life because I just can't do it I can't I want her and only her but I respect her and know we need this as hard as it she is right about us having to be apart I just hope it all works out one day I really do because honestly I don't know what I will do and that's the truth one thing I'm glad is I'm in a better place ,I don't drink away my feelings like I used to,I'm more nicer to my family now,I don't just start fights and want everything to be my way all the time when I think about I have come a good bit since I first came to Washington.