Separated ways

29.Ryan

The recent events made Penny doubt her ability to judge situations wisely. She was withdrewing once again, but she needed to think everything over in peace, which she could only find on her own. However one person was making it particulary difficult. It hurt Penny to ignore Sam like that, but everytime she tried to look him in the eyes, she was afraid she would wake up and realize it was just a dream that he was really alive.

But it didn't go unnoticed. Sam was always trying to talk with her, but she always found an excuse not to do so. It hurt Sam to see her like this, once again reserved and quiet. Moreover she never looked him in the eyes while talking with him and when she smiled, Sam immediately knew it was forced, because it didn't reach her eyes. 

It was also like that this morning. It was a week since they came back to Pontypandy and nobody could say if it wouldn't have been better if they had stayed on the exchange. Because they barely talk on the calls, as Pontypandy was slowly waking up to life. 

"Penny! Sam! Can I talk with you two?" They heard how Station Officer Steele approached them when they were hanging their uniforms. 

They walked to the office in silence, following their chief. But to their big surprise they saw there was someone else in the office already. And when he turned around, not standing with his back to them anymore, both Sam and Penny quickly recognized who paid them a visit. 

"What are you doing here, Ryan?" Penny asked stunned, but even if her question was not too polite, her voice betrayed her. 

"Not what you're thinking about, Penny" Ryan replied charmingly. "I need to find out whether or not the two of you plan to go back on the exchange or should I cancel it?"

"I already talked with Lucas, I'm staying here. This is my place" Sam said stubbornly. He made up his mind the first day of the week when he saw how much mess his leave gave his home town. 

Ryan nodded before he briefly wrote something in a file he brought with him. There was a silence for a longer moment and from the corner of his eye, Sam swas how Penny nervously walked from one leg to another. 

"What about you, Penny?" He asked her directly. 

"I'll stay too" Penny replied reluctantly. 

Ryan wrote it down as well and thanked briefly Station Officer Steele, before he left. As soon as the door closed, Station Officer Steele let Sam and Penny go as well. But to Sam surprise, Penny left in silence, lowering her head a little. Sam, seeing that, stopped and called after her when they chose other direction on the stairs. 

"You seem not happy about this decision" he started embarrassedly when she turned around to him. 

"I don't want to talk about that, Sam" she objected indifferently. 

"You recently don't want to talk about anything, Penny" Sam stated politely. "What is really on the line?" 

"I've been thinking that..." she started hesitantly, while they slowly walked over to the bench hid behind the lockers. 

"You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?" Sam chimed in to encourage her and, to his joy, it made her chuckled. 

"I know, but there are some things that I can't talk even with you" she sighed as she lowered her gaze once again. 

"Why?" Sam looked at her perplexed. 

"I'm just satisfied that you're alive, Sam" Penny quickly changed the topic, as she squeezed his hand and the hurt in her eyes left a little place for a hope. "But I can't stand a thought that I could lose you once again" she added as her eyes for a first time met Sam's.