The Touch of Jack Frost (Weak Hero)

Kenny (12-30-22)

Kenny had silently sat and comforted at Jake's funeral. He smiled and thanked people for showing up when his mother failed to have to strength. When she wailed over the casket he picked her up. Kenny Ji had always been falling apart, he joined Manwol smashing puzzle pieces wherever he saw fit, he tried to leave when Jake had told him where to put them. Anytime life had begun to smile on Kenny, the world tossed him around like a child in a raging river. It flung him into stone walls, causing him to gasp desperately for air. He didn't breathe in air. It was water.

He was drowning.

Well not really, right now he was smoking. His doctors would disapprove of this self destructive behavior, but he didn't care. It didn't matter.

Guilt was suffocating him. He'd ruined his own life when he'd carelessly joined Manwol, nearly getting Jake involved then. Soon after, he ruined Jake's life too. The boy had grown up watching his older brother fight meaningless fights, Jake had never been a stranger to the metallic smell and red stain of blood in clothes. Kenny had exposed him to that, when he was supposed to be a good example. Kenny had single handedly destroyed his little brother's life.

The Union was bullshit. They only paid the medical bills, Kenny's medical bills, so that Jake would be indebted to them. He'd have no choice but to stay and work it off, through any means necessary. It wasn't legal, nothing that concerned that group of fucking high schoolers was legal. Who cares? Donald would pay for silence and turned gazes.

His leg throbbed with phantom pain, if Kenny had been stronger maybe he could've helped Jake and taken some off the load off the boy's back, if he was smarter, maybe he'd never have gotten involved with Manwol in the first place. Kenny was weak and a fucking idiot. He ignored the pain and walked, unsure of where exactly he would be walking to.

Hearing news of Donald's death brought him little comfort. Just one more funeral to plan, one more family to grieve. Then again, Donald wasn't known for his strong family ties. Who would plan the boy's funeral? Who would attend? Everyone who might've was dead, "Fuck," Kenny hissed through barred teeth as his knee buckled beneath him.

All at once he was drowning and being burned alive by hell flames. All at once he was bawling his eyes out for his little brother who'd died a pointless death. Suicide. How stupid could Kenny be? Letting his little brother go on hurting like this for this long. He'd known the moment he'd been told about Eunchan's death, that Jake was cracking. No, he known for a long time that Jake was falling apart. 

The look in his eyes was wrong. As soon as Kenny had woken in the hospital, it was already too late. A permanent barrier was formed in Jake's once warm eyes, made entirely of anger. Towards others, towards the world, towards himself. Kenny had watched his little brother struggle with himself, he'd watched him go too far, he'd watched everything from afar.

In the end, Kenny Ji was just as bad as the people who Donald had paid.

Except, his payment came in physical therapy coverage and a lack of bills for his mother.

"Why Jake?" He begged, eyes upward. Kenny had crumbled in the middle of the railroad carelessly. "Why did you do it?" Tears burned his eyes as wire wound tighter and tighter around his throat, "Did I r-really kill my l-little brother?" He choked out the question. "I'm s-so so sorry," Kenny wailed.

He curled up in a pitiful ball, waiting for the 12:30 train. A couple years back, he and Jake had taped pennies to the track to get flattened souvenirs. Boy stuff. Brother stuff. Kenny broke down and mourned, waiting for the vibration of tracks.

Breathlessly he waited, gasping as if air was hard to come by.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Kenny Ji didn't have to wait long.

.............................................................................................

663

I decided to do the last two today so they'd be less rushed.