Death's Temporary Home For Lost Souls

Chapter Six: I See Dead People

I purse my lips to keep myself from crying and nod, even though she can't see me. The truth wants to break out of the cage of my chest like a trapped bird, but I know better. Opening that cage will only start a chain reaction that I'm not prepared to handle. And when I tried to tell my dad the truth, it made things even worse.

"Thank you," I manage.

"Cara?"

"Mmm?"

"Can you at least tell me where you are? I swear that I won't tell anyone else. I just want to know that you're safe and planning on coming home."

"Who said I was planning on coming home?" I say, and immediately I know that it was the wrong choice.

The phone falls silent for an eternal second before Analia says, "What are you talking about? You have a degree to finish, an apartment, your job at the bookstore. Your best friend. New York is your home. Remember that little thing called your life?"

"Analia, I didn't mean it that way and you know it." My voice starts to rise with frustration. "I just needed to get away from it all, it was just...I can't explain it to you. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I wouldn't, would I? Because I'm such a dumbass. How could I possibly understand Cara Rossi?"

"That's not fair!"

"Fair? You know what isn't fair?" She's shouting now, and I have to pull the phone away from my ear to keep from getting deafened. "Leaving everything and everyone behind without so much as an explanation and expecting them to pick up the pieces! I mean, God, I knew you were in a dark place when your mother passed but this is ridiculous. You need help, Cara. Feel free to call me when you recognize that."

I try to defend myself, but I realize that it's no use. She'd hung up. Boiling over with pent-up rage and sadness and regret and guilt, I slam my fists into the bed and let out a frustrated scream from my very core.

When I decided to drop out of school and dump my boyfriend, I hadn't expected anyone to understand. Hell, I hadn't expected them to approve. But there are some battles in life that you must fight alone, some things that only become more complicated when other people get involved. So that's what I'm doing.

Fighting. Alone.

Well, I guess I'm not totally alone. My mind wanders to D, an enigma if I've ever encountered one. I think of the pieces of his life and how they just don't fit together, and even though I know I shouldn't it makes me want to get to know him. If someone like him ended up in a place like this, it can't be so bad.

Or, I could be idealizing him in my head the way that lonely people do when they see an attractive person. After all, this situation is a bit too meet-cuteish to feel real. Studious, big-city girl moves to a small town to escape the chaos of her life, only to find that a handsome model is renting out a room at the humble inn in which she finds herself. It has Hallmark Channel written all over it.

Which leads me to wonder: was this whole situation orchestrated? Did Mem know that D was staying here all along and decided to play matchmaker when I blew into town? Or was it all up to chance?

These are the questions that run through my mind tirelessly as I fall into a fitful sleep.

***

Someone touched my foot.

Even before I fully wake up, eyes blinking in the blue early-dawn light, I know that I hadn't dreamt it. I felt something cold, like fingers, brush against my exposed foot.

My anxiety immediately kicks into overdrive and I bundle every inch of my body into the comforter, though I can't see anything out of the ordinary in the darkness.