Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 24

John was momentarily surprised. He hadn't realized that she was going to do that, "Doc?"

"He's too unpredictable right now, John. Not just with me, but with the twins. I think, I... actually, I think everyone in Roman's life, we were too quick to think that seven years with Stefano wouldn't change him. We don't know what he went through, and he won't talk about it," Marlena said. She pulled the stopper from the sink, staring as the water drained. Marlena looked up at John, sadness in her eyes, "I want him to get help...find a professional to work with. When he does that, maybe we can look at sharing custody, or unsupervised visitation. As it stands, Eric doesn't trust him, and Sami is afraid of him."

"I think that's a fair assessment," he replied. "I'm remembering my time with Stefano. In my case, I was being trained to be a mercenary. I remember how prisoners were treated, Doc. Roman wouldn't want to talk about that. No one comes out of that unscathed. They don't."

"It breaks my heart. I did love him. When we'd thought Roman died, my heart was broken. Then I met you," she said, reaching for his face to softly run her fingers along his jaw. "I met you, and I fell in love with you."

John was quiet for a moment, and finally said, "You loved me because I was Roman, at least at first. I don't believe that's true now, but at first—"

"—John, no. I loved you when—I loved you when you were John Black. I loved you when I thought you might be Stefano, and it tore at my soul, but still I loved you! Finding out you were Roman? It was relief, because it gave me permission to love you, but it didn't make me love you. It couldn't, because I already did. I already loved you!"

"I thought—"

She stared up, into his deep blue, eyes, and she repeated softly, "I already loved you."

John stepped closer, pressing her body back against the kitchen counter, and boxing her in with his arms. Leaning towards her, he nuzzled her hair, breathing deeply, and he whispered, "You already loved me?"

Her breath hitched in her chest, and she murmured, "I really did."

"I think I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you," John said.

"In Shenanigan's?"

"In the hospital," he said quietly.

Marlena was surprised, "I saw you in the hospital?"

"I was dirty, my bandages needed changed, and you came in. You asked me to allow someone to change my bandages," John said, running his nose along her jawline.

Marlena gasped lightly, "I didn't know that was you. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I'm not sure I remembered, until recently," he whispered, against her ear.

Marlena pictured him, alone, cold, with his head wrapped in filthy bandages, "I remember. You left. You disappeared."

"Victor was looking for me. I was afraid, but your face, Doc. It was the face of an angel, and the next time I saw you, in Shenanigan's, I swear, I was already half in love with you," he groaned.

"You didn't kiss me until West Virginia," she said softly, inches from his lips.

"I wanted to, baby. I couldn't get you off my mind, and I found excuses to talk to you."

"You made me angry...you frustrated me," she said, remembering his security measures at the hospital.

"You made me dream of you," he rasped against the soft skin of her collarbone.

Marlena gasped softly at the feel of his tongue on her neck, "You dreamt of me?"

"I did. Filthy dreams, Doc."

"Oh!" Marlena cried out lightly. His teeth nipped at her ear, and she sighed deeply. "John, the children are upstairs."

"When I'm close to you, it's so difficult to refrain from kissing you. To hold myself back from touching you."

Marlena was reaching for John, pulling his mouth down to hers with a soft moan, "Maybe just a little kissing..."

John's hips pushed against hers, and he groaned, "I fucking love kissing you, baby."

Marlena's tongue swept alongside John's in a gentle motion. Her lips played over his, biting, and sucking at him. Pulling back from her mouth, John kissed along her neck, and licked behind her ear. Lifting one of his hands from the kitchen counter, John slid his fingers under the hem of her shirt, allowing them to play along the warm skin of her lower back.

Reaching for her face, and holding her with both hands, John whispered, "I love you."

Marlena rested her forehead against his, and whispered back, "I love you, John."

Sami had entered the kitchen moment's before. She's seen John kiss her mother, and it made her happy. She wanted John to be Daddy again. He loved her, and he made her feel safe. When she heard them say they loved each other, her little heart soared. Staring at them with wide-eyes, Sami said, "Mommy?"

Marlena nearly jumped out of her skin, she was so surprised, "Sami! I thought you were in bed."

"I was wondering when Carrie was coming back?" Sami asked.

John left Marlena standing where she was, and he smiled, swooping Sami up into his arms, "She'll be home later. Now what are you doing out of bed, Peanut?"

"I couldn't sleep," she said with a grin. Leaning closer to John's ear she whispered, "I saw you kissing Mommy."

John looked at Marlena, and then said softly, "You did, huh? You're not supposed to be sneaking up on people in the kitchen, you know."

Sami laughed, "I want you to kiss Mommy. I want you to be Daddy again."

Marlena was watching them curiously, and John said to her, "Sami saw me kiss you."

Marlena came over to where John held Sami, and said, "You weren't supposed to see that Samantha. You were supposed to be in bed."

"I want you to kiss him. I want him to be my Daddy again," Sami said. "I want my Daddy back."

John smiled, and shrugged, "I'll tell you a secret, Sami. I like kissing your Mommy."

"John!" Marlena said in shock.

"They're going to find out soon enough, Doc. She saw us kissing. We can't lie to her. My little Sami is too smart for that. Aren't you, Peanut?"

"Daddy says, I'm the smartest girl he knows," Sami said proudly.

"You are rather smart, aren't you?" Marlena said with a smile. "John and I...we enjoy spending time together."

"Is he gonna be your boyfriend?"

"My boyfriend? Hmmm...I think he is my boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend?" Sami squealed. "I'm gonna tell Eric you said that!"

John looks at Marlena, and says, "My girlfriend, huh?"

"Yeah," she replied shyly. Looking towards Sami, she said, "Take yourself back up to bed. I love you."

John placed Sami back down on the floor, and before the girl left the kitchen she said with a giggle, "You can kiss my Mommy again if you want to."

"I have permission?" John asked Sami with a smile.

"Yeah! Goodnight!" Sami said with another giggle, and she sped from the kitchen.

John pushed Marlena against the wall, and whispered huskily, "Did you hear that, Doc? Samantha Gene says I can kiss you again, because you're my girlfriend."

"John! She saw us kissing!"

John kissed her softly on the lips, "Marlena, the twins are almost nine years old. She saw me kiss you. I'm not insulting her intelligence, by pretending I wasn't, and I'm glad she saw us, because now...I have a girlfriend."