Forever yours

Endings and Beginnings

*Luisa*

I twisted the ring on my finger nervously as Ben and I walked to my hotel room. I needed to talk to him and I knew it.

Still, my heart was pounding and I didn't know how to start. I was being unfair to him. I was damned unfair, because my mind was completely on Kevin now. That thing in the bathroom just now had fucked me up. I wanted him so badly.

But first I had to sort this out. And I would have to settle a lot more. But then I would finally be happy again.

I would be with Kevin again.

And just like before, I would then be able to handle everything else, because I wasn't alone. With Kevin I was never alone. He had always been there. He had supported me when I had told my parents that I didn't want to go karting anymore. He had encouraged me before I told them I wanted to be a tattoo artist. He had always been there for me. And I knew that no matter what happened today, he would catch me.

I closed the door behind us.

Ben had already sat down on my bed. I took a deep breath before sitting down next to him. I still hadn't found the right words.

I turned to him, took his hand and took another breath.

"Before you say anything now, I need to talk to you about something," Ben said.

I pushed the pent up air back out and nodded to signal I was listening.

"I... shit, I don't know how to say this, but I think the engagement thing was a mistake," I couldn't put into words the weight that just fell off my shoulders.

"Thank God!", I gasped completely unintentionally.

Ben started laughing in relief "I guess it was just rushed and... I still have feelings for my ex and want to try again with her."

I lowered my eyes laughing. This was definitely not how I had imagined the conversation going. I had been afraid that it would be hard and that tears would flow. But this? I preferred that a thousand times over.

"Me too.".

"Kevin?" he laughed.

I nodded and gave a "Tina?", back.

This time Ben nodded and laughed in relief.

"Boah shit, I really thought we were both going to sit here and cry when I got through this conversation. I didn't even know where to start. But... Wow, I'm so relieved right now." he took my hand in His "You're an amazing woman and you deserve to be happy and I hope you are with Kevin."

"Thank you. Ben, seriously, thank you. And of course I'm rooting for you with Tina. I hope it works out and you have everything you want with her. You deserve that," I pulled him tightly into my arms.

I felt a thousand kilos lighter. For sure. I pressed a warm kiss to his cheek, then took the ring off my finger and placed it in his open palm.

"Now I just have to break it to my parents that there won't be a wedding after all. I'm sure Mom will be a little disappointed." he laughed, slipping the ring into his pants pocket and then running it through the back of his neck.

"Yeah. I feel the same way. They really liked you. I'm sure it's going to be a huge disappointment," I snorted.

Ben patted me on the shoulder "As long as you're happy, I'm sure they will be eventually.", he gave me a smile "It should be worth it to us, shouldn't it?".

I nodded "Of course."

"But I understand what you mean. I don't feel any different.".

I was completely relieved. That had actually gone quite differently than I had expected. That gave me hope that things with my family also went differently than I had expected. Maybe I should have done all of this much sooner, because I felt so liberated. I wouldn't have to pick out a wedding dress. No wedding to plan. Nothing.