more than a feeling, stancy

Chapter 12

Nancy Wheeler was most things but she wasn't a partier. Sure, she enjoyed the occasional getting ready, having a few drinks, and talking to friends. But at the end of the day, she rather lay in bed and journal. Write. Read. Do something worth her time. She never understand how the rest of the band spent countless hours awake, smoking anything they could their hands on and drinking away their feelings.

She had a different way of expressing those feelings. The occasional pill slipped into her mouth, but her excuse was that they calmed her down. Everyone knew that wasn't the case. She was too afraid to admit those feelings to anyone, not even herself.

Her balcony had always been her safe place. When she first moved to New York City, it was hard to adjust. The atmosphere was quicker, full of intense amounts of people and various noises. She couldn't keep up with the bluntness or the occasional rain that dropped whenever deemed necessary. But change came with adjustment.

Nancy forced herself out of the apartment, taking in as much of the city as she could. Getting used to the lingo and picking up on others' habits. She struggled a bit at the local coffee shop but eventually mastered her order within a few weeks. The streets began to become similar. She no longer needed a map to navigate through the maze of the city.

Having Jonathan around was a plus. He visited her frequently and stayed with her all hours of the night. Jonathan never failed to give her pointers since he had an apartment in New York City himself. When their relationship amplified, he spent the nights there wrapped up in her sheets. But now her bed was empty, full of memories that broke Nancy's heart into a million pieces.

Eddie had somewhat encouraged her to drink tonight. It wasn't completely his fault, other than the handful of drinks he shoved down her throat. The rest was on her own, though. She found herself spinning, vision blurring, and noises becoming muffled unless they were directly in her face.

Her safe space was calling to her, begging to be used. Being in New York City was always a dream but the fire escape just made everything more surreal. That's when she found herself going towards her room and shutting the door behind her. Nancy regretted not having socks laying around to be placed on the doorknob for some privacy.

Nancy's feet dangled a bit over the edge of the steps. Blunt in hand, she took a few drags before gazing out into the city. The bright lights burned into her eyes, allowing her to memorize the skyline. It was a sight to see and Nancy never wasted a minute of it.

The streets hustled and bustled, filled with random kids playing a game of tag, a handful of teenagers on a double date, and adults that lived in nearby buildings. Music played softly from a building across the way, causing Nancy to sway her head to the beat. The weed wasn't strong enough for her but good enough to the point where she mellowed out her drunk.

Hearing the door, Nancy's head whipped around. Her brows furrowed together as she tried to get an image of who was in the room. Gulping, her heart began to race. She figured it was someone she knew, but knowing the random girls Eddie and Billy invited made her terrified. Nancy feared for the worst, glancing down at her joint. It dangled between her fingers as she carefully placed her feet on the surface of the fire escape.

Her feet shuffled against the floor, eyes widened like a deer cut in headlights. She took a quick hit of her weed, inhaling slowly and exhaling through her mouth. The smoke trailed out of her lips, leaving behind a funky smell.

Nancy snuck up to the window. Her room was empty but she heard noises. Exhaling slowly, she made her way toward the center of the window. Seeing a shadowy figure pop up, her eyes went wide. But they quickly softened once she noticed the strands of hair on the mystery person's head. "Steve?"