Hear my lullaby

6.

My thoughts were interrupted by Gilbert's sigh, I turned my eyes on him. He was rubbing his forehead, and then his thick and brown hair. He seemed to be a bit frustrated about something. 
He opened his mouth, maybe about to say something, but then again he closed it. His eyes wandered around constantly.
I started getting a bit worried. He wasn't okay.

"Is everything okay?" I asked carefully. He shook his head slowly as he covered his mouth. I saw tears coming to his eyes, and then I knew that something was really off.
I placed my hand on his arm to get his attention. He looked at me with his sad eyes, I stood up.
"Let's go outside." I told him. He didn't say anything, but followed behind me as we walked past all the people.

When we were outside, I called a taxi for us. Gilbert took deep breaths, and he was fighting back against his tears. I don't know what is wrong, but I did everything to calm him down and make him feel better. I went closer to him and stroked his back, he crossed his arms against his chest. He looked down to the ground, and then he let out a frustrated and tired chuckle.
"Is this about your father?" I calmly and carefully asked. He shook his head as a no. I frowned a bit.

"Fuck.. why.. why is this so fucking hard?" He questioned to himself. I tried to read his face expressions, but he had so many emotions at the same time that it was a bit hard.
"You can tell me." I told him. I lowered my hand off from his back, he was breathing calmer now.

He took a long breath before talking again. He didn't look at me, only the buildings around us.
"Okay.. uhm.. if you promise that it will stay between us." He then turned his eyes on me. I was silent for couple seconds at first. What has happened? Of course I can keep secrets, it's not a problem at all. But if this has to do something with Freya.. and if it's something, well, horrible.. how can I be silent about it? And Eevi sees through me, she knows if I'm hiding something.
I nodded to him, and he started telling just before the taxi arrived.

We came home, Freya and Gilbert are staying here for a while. I don't know how long they've planned on being here in Finland, but we'll see. We were silent for the whole journey. The thing he told me was in my mind, and I was thinking the worst scenarios of the consequences. I just tried to think something else when I opened the front door, I wanted to look a bit happier to Eevi and Freya, and of course to Oscar.
I closed the door behind me when Gilbert got in first, I heard some speaking from the kitchen.
"I will tell her when the time is right." Gilbert whispered to me when we were taking our shoes off.
I looked at him under my eyebrows.
"What defines the right time?" I whispered back.
He looked at me a bit sad, shrugging his shoulders.

I walked past Gilbert to the kitchen, Eevi and Freya were sitting there and drinking some wine. It was late, so Oscar is sleeping.
"Hi love." Eevi smiled to me. Her smile made me feel better, so I smiled back to her and kissed her head.
"What's up?" I asked as I took one glass from the cabinet and poured some water to it. I needed some very cold water.

"Mom went to Niko's place. Then we played a bit with Oscar, now he's sleeping peacefully. Luckily he has your dream gifts." Eevi explained smiling. I looked at Gilbert who slowly walked towards Freya, she was smiling to him as she reached out her hand to him. He took it and smiled to her.

"I'm tired.. it's been a long day." Gilbert said to Freya while he caressed her hair. She nodded smiling.
"Let's go to sleep then. Good night." Freya said to us as she stood up from the chair, we wished the same back. Then they went to the basement where is their mattress. I sighed a bit relieved.

I took Eevi's wine glass that was almost empty, I drank it as she stroked my arm. I still stood behind her, I placed the glass down. I looked down at her and her eyes studied my lips quite hungrily. I placed my hand on her jaw, and she closed her eyes for a moment.
"Shall we go to sleep too?" I quietly asked. She opened her eyes, and that gaze made shivers to my body.
"I'm not tired..." She almost whispered. Then she stood up and kissed me passionately. After that we both kept staring at each other.

"I'll check on Oscar quickly." I said, and she bit her lower lip a little bit.
"I'll wait." She started taking steps towards our bedroom. I stood there for a moment before heading to upstairs.

I opened Oscar's bedroom door, and it was dark and silent. I took as quiet steps as possible towards his cradle, and when I reached it, I looked at him. He was sleeping, and he was snuffling a bit. I smiled, and then turned around, ready to go downstairs.

I was about to close the door behind me, I turned my head a bit towards the room.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw a figure, standing near the cradle. I kept on staring at it, not looking away. I barely took a breath.
And when it wasn't moving or anything, I decided to open the door a little bit more. I don't know if I believe in ghosts.. or whatever this is but.. that what I saw was so real. My brain wasn't imagining it. Not the alcohol in my veins, not anything. It was there.
I took couple slow steps closer, and now I could see the figure better. Or.. uhm.. her? I frowned.
It was clearly a woman, her hair was open and.. she's shorter than Eevi.
I went even closer, and now I could see that she has blonde hair.
I recognized her face immediately.

Her eyes were glued to me, and she had a bit scary grin on her face. I swallowed.
"What in the jesus christ..." I whispered as I kept on staring at that figure back.

"Emilia?" I whispered very quietly. Then her grin grew a bit bigger, and then, all of sudden.. she disappeared.

I had to blink multiply times, and I also rubbed my eyes. I was so confused of this all. Did I really see her, or was it just.. I don't know what. I scratched my neck and then turned around, but only to see her figure standing at the doorway. I flinched hardly, and I took two steps back. I had to be silent.

"It could've been our baby." I heard her saying with sour tone. I opened my mouth confused and a bit scared, but then she disappeared again.
I stood there in silence like someone has just hit me in the head with a firewood.

I rushed out of the room, almost closing the door behind me. I decided to not think about it.. the hell I can't! What the fuck just happened!
I went to downstairs, and fastly I went to our bedroom. Eevi was laying on the bed, and I had to freeze in front of the bed. She had.. only her lingerie on. She was playing with her hair.
And when she saw that I wasn't moving or anything, she decided to sit up and come in front of me, standing on her knees. I stared at her with probably hungry eyes, and she slowly started opening the buttons of my shirt.

"Love.. I think I saw something." I quietly told her. Her green eyes looked up at me, a bit confused, but still having that spark on her eyes. I was about to tell her, but.. I decided to tell about it later. Now I had something else to do. I kissed her, and she answered back passionately.

Gilbert told a secret to Olli.. what it might be? And Olli saw Emilia, do you remember her?
So, it's finally a new year, I have some plans for myself and I really hope that this year would be the year when I do some changes in general.
I hope you all remember to take care of yourselves, asking for help is a big step and you never know what wonderful things will happen <3
Thank you all for reading this story, every vote and comment is important to me.
Stay safe and strong🖤