Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 18

"At my place," he said. "Around 7?"

"Your place?"

John had more than dinner on his mind, and he replied, "Definitely my place, baby."

"Should I wear anything special?"

"Surprise me," he said softly, willing himself to keep his eyes on the road. A few minutes later, John parked in Marlena's driveway, and looked over at her, "You ready, Doc?"

"Yes," she said softly, touching her bruised cheek lightly. "Yes...let's—let's go talk to Eric."

Caroline gasped lightly when she saw Marlena. The bruising and discoloration had gotten much worse in the four days Marlena had been gone, "Oh, Marlena! I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine," Marlena said quietly, touching her face self consciously. "Honestly, I am. It looks worse than it feels."

"It shouldn't have happened," Caroline said. "Roman should never have hit you. Shawn and I taught him better than that."

"I need to speak with Eric about what he saw."

"He's been very upset," Caroline told her. "Roman showed up, and as I was asking him to leave, Eric came out of the kitchen. He was worried that Roman might hit me...he told Roman that...well, he said John had told him that it wasn't right to hit girls. He was very angry."

"Roman was here?"

"I told him to leave. He did, but Eric has been upset and quiet ever since," Caroline said.

I wanted to..." Marlena looked up at John, and said, "John and I wanted to talk to Eric about what happened."

"I understand," Caroline said. "Sami's in the backyard with a friend. Eric is in his room."

Marlena nodded her head, and reached for John's hand, pulling him towards the stairs. Caroline watched them go, and felt that they were so right together. Marlena and John were so in sync, so in tune with each other. They had been since they'd met. Caroline couldn't deny that, and they shouldn't have tried to deny it.

Marlena knocked softly on Eric's door, before opening it. He looked up, and started crying when he saw her face. "Oh, my sensitive boy!" Marlena said, rushing into the room, and scooping his up. "I'm fine! I'm fine!"

"Mama! I yelled at him! I yelled at him, and I said we don't hit girls!" Eric sobbed into Marlena's shoulder.

"I know, baby. I know," she whispered, smoothing her hand over his back, while sitting down on the floor next to his bed. John sat down beside her quietly.

Eric looked at John, and said, "I told him what you said. I told him you said we don't hit girls. You said that when you were my Daddy."

"I did. It's never okay for a man or a boy to hit girls," John said quietly.

Eric touched his mother's face lightly, still crying softly, "I heard him yelling, and when I went in the kitchen, he hit you. You fell on the floor...and then—then you left..."

"I'm sorry, I left. I was—I was upset, and I needed some space, but I should have talked about what you'd seen, before I left. I'm sorry I didn't," Marlena said.

"You were crying, and you were sad."

"I was, but I'm better now. I had John with me," she whispered.

Eric looked at John and then back towards Marlena, and he said, "Da—John always makes things better."

Marlena smiled, "He does, doesn't he?"

Eric was afraid of Roman coming back into the house, and he asked Marlena, "Is Dad coming back? To live here?"

"No, Eric," Marlena said gently. "Your Dad and I...that's not working."

Eric whispered, "Can John be my Daddy again?"

"I'm going to get to see you more," John told him.

"Can you coach my tee ball team again? Because we couldn't find a coach, and Caleb's dad, Mr. Fisher, is doing it, but everyone asked me why you couldn't do it..."

John glanced at Marlena, and she had this look of sadness cross her face. Eric had begged Roman to coach his tee ball team, because prior to Roman's return, John had always made the time to do it. It was almost as if the families involved expected Eric's father would be the coach. Roman had insisted that, with his work schedule, he didn't have the time, and he had refused, disappointing Eric immensely.

Marlena brushed the hair from Eric's forehead, and said, "I think John might like to coach your tee ball team, but I think you should ask him."

Eric looked at the man, he wished with his whole heart was still his father, and he asked, "Could you coach the team? We're really bad...and I—I miss you."

"C'mere, Slugger," John said pulling Eric into his lap. "I would love to coach you, and your team. Those are some of my favorite memories."

Eric smiled, "Sami's going to be so jealous!"

John thought about it for a moment, and said, "I was thinking we could start up pizza Friday's again."

Marlena smiled, and Eric whooped, "Pizza Fridays! Can I go tell Sami?"

"Go tell Sami," Marlena said softly. She watched Eric speed from the room, and she said to John, "I want to do this with you. This life...with you. It's going to be hard at first. You know that right? Roman is not going to make this easy."
"I don't care. I'm not letting you go again," John told her, looping his arm around her waist, and pulling her close. He whispered against her head, "In Mexico...I was so fucking upset to learn that I wasn't Roman Brady. Everything was so chaotic. I felt like I had no right to fight for something that wasn't mine, but, G-d, Doc, I wanted too, and then Isabella...she lied to me. If she hadn't done that, Doc...it doesn't matter now. I can't change anything at all, but I feel like...maybe, I might have made a different choice. I think, I would have chosen you."

Marlena said softly, "I felt so guilty. For everything Roman went through. For any joy I may have felt with you, while he was suffering. The guilt was overwhelming, and when you..."

John waited for Marlena to continue, and when she didn't, he said, "Say it, Doc. Don't hold back...because we've been doing that for months, and I don't want to anymore. I want to know—"

"—you slept with Isabella," Marlena blurted out. "I felt so much guilt over what Roman had been through, but I still wanted you. I couldn't imagine Roman kissing me. I couldn't imagine Roman's hands on my body. I was going to tell you...but you slept with Isabella, and I felt like you had made your choice, and it wasn't me. I decided to give Roman a chance."

John held her tightly against him, breathing heavily, and feeling as if a lead weight sat in his gut. The realization of what she was saying nearly broke him. John rasped out, "I'm sorry, Doc. Fuck, I'm so sorry! I thought I'd lost you—"

"—you didn't ask me, John."

"I gave up, and for that...for that, I'm so sorry."

Marlena straddled John's lap, and whispered, "Don't do it again, Sailor."

Placing his hands under her, cupping her ass, John pulled Marlena closer, and said, "Kiss me."

Marlena grinned, and leaned towards his mouth slowly, just as they heard the screams and pounding feet of the twins on the stairs. Marlena rolled away from John quickly, and they both made sure they were presentable. Sami roared into the room screaming, "Pizza Friday's? With Mama and Daddy?"

Eric stood behind her, and whispered, "We're supposed to call him John."

Sami turned, and looked at Eric angrily, "And I told you, I don't care." Running towards John, her blonde hair flying behind her, Sami leapt into his arms, "I missed you! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Peanut. I missed you, too!" he replied.