Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 10

"I'm fine," she whispered from behind him. "Have you...have you seen Isabella?"

"She came by to see me last night," John murmured, feeling anger and frustration rise up in him all over again remembering her words:

"John! I know you saved her life, but you almost killed a man in the process! If they press charges for attempted murder, where does that leave us? What about our baby?" Isabella cried helplessly.

"They're not going to press charges," John told her.

"You don't know that! Roman wants to press charges!"

"The guy was trying to kill Doc, Izzy B! I wasn't thinking clearly," John argued. "I kicked the door open, and all I could think about was stopping him."

"But..." she said slowly, "why react so strongly? John, you beat him so badly...why?"

John didn't have an answer then, and he didn't have an answer now, other than...it was Marlena. He'd lost her three times, and he wasn't going to lose her again, but that wasn't an answer that Isabella wanted, so he kept it to himself. Glancing at Marlena, John said, "She was upset that I was arrested, and worried that Roman was going to get the DA to agree to charges."

"Roman and I argued last night...and this morning. I tried, John. I tried to get him to see reason. He claims that...never mind," she said, sitting in a kitchen chair, and feeling utterly defeated. "It doesn't matter now anyway. You're free, and there are no charges."

Crouching down in front of her, and balancing himself with his hands on her knees, John asked her, "What? What were you going to say?"

She reached out, touching his face softly, and allowed her fingers to softly land on his chest, "It doesn't matter."

John knew. He could see it in her eyes, so he said, "Isabella essentially said the same thing, you know."

Marlena's eyes looked up at him quickly, "What?"

"She said that if it had been anyone else...I wouldn't have reacted so violently. That's what Roman told you, right? He said the only reason I almost killed Frank was because he'd been hurting you?"

She sighed, and glanced back down to where her fingers rested on his chest, seemingly unable to move from the warmth of him. "Yes," she sighed, forcing herself to finally move her hand away from him, but John stopped her, reaching for it instead.

Lacing their fingers together, he said softly, "They're right, Doc. I—I saw him on you, and I don't remember anything else. None of it...until...until I was holding you in my arms, and begging you to live. I can't lose you again. You know...there's a part of me that will always love you."

She stares at him with tears in her eyes, and whispered, "I know." Because in her heart, she would always love him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bo chased after Roman on the pier, "Roman! Wait up!"

"Hey, Bo. I was just on my way to the fish market," Roman said. "Walk with me. I don't have much time." He was glad that the chill bite of the winter wind had given way to a warmer, albeit still cool, wind coming off of the river.

"I wanted to ask you how Marlena is doing...you know, after yesterday?" Bo asked him breathlessly.

"She's fine. She's fine...she's got some serious bruising, and she's a little stiff, but she'll be fine," Roman said.

Bo felt like his brothers answer was almost careless, "Roman, someone tried to kill her. Have you even asked her how she's doing?"

"Bo, I think I know my own wife!" Roman said, stopping, and facing his brother. "She'll be fine. Security got there in time, and she'll be fine."

"Security? Abe told me earlier that it was John who—"

"—John almost killed someone!" Roman replied bitterly.

Bo watched his brother's face line with rage, and he said, "Abe said, John saved Marlena's life."

"John almost killed Frank Delaney!"

"And...Frank Delaney was trying to kill Marlena..."

"That's no fucking excuse, Bo!" Roman said loudly. "He could have pulled the guy off of her, punched him for good measure, and left it to the professionals...but he beat the man into a bed in the ICU! This was about more than saving Marlena."

Bo realized almost immediately what the bigger issue was, "You know, big brother, I never pegged you for the type to use your job to push false charges out of jealousy."

"That's not what I'm doing. Besides the DA and Abe think there's no case," Roman grumbled, resuming his walk to the fish market.

Bo caught up, walking beside him, "Sure seems like that."

"John Black almost beat someone to death. That's not a normal reaction, unless—"

"—Roman! He cares for her. We all know he does. So, yeah, maybe he reacted a little more violently than he should have, but he saved her life. That's gotta count for something. Maybe a thank you?"

"He needs to fucking move on with his life," Roman muttered.

"He is. He's marrying Isabella. They're having a baby. What more do you want from him?" Bo asked.

"I want him to stay away from Doc, but I can't ask that because he's seeing her for these fucking hypnosis sessions. I know she's still in love with him," Roman said, stopping again, and looking out over the river with a sulky demeanor. "Bo, she won't let me touch her. We've been back from Mexico for nearly three months, and I've not done more than kiss her a few times."

"Roman, you've got to understand," Bo said gently. "When she was taken by Orpheus...she was married to John. John was who she came home to. That's going to take time."

"She came home to me! She thought he was me!"

"So, what...in your mind, because she thought he was you, she should rush into your bed?"

"No! Yes...I don't fucking know. But if she thought he was me, then she must still love me," Roman said. "She came home with me after Mexico."

"I think you need to be more patient," Bo said. "She thought he was you, but that doesn't take away from the love she felt for him. Hell, if you want my opinion—"

"—I don't," Roman interrupted.

"Well, you're getting it anyway. I think Marlena loved him before anyone thought he was you. They were spending a lot of time together, they went on the run together—"

"What the hell are you talking about? Went on the run?"

"Have you and Marlena even talked about the past at all?" Bo asked him incredulously.

Roman looked back over the river, "I just wanted to forget it all, and move on, Bo."

"That there, is your first mistake," Bo said. "You can't assume that she only loved him because he was you, because I don't think that's true. I think she loved him before that. I think she loved him when we all thought he might be Stefano."

Roman turned, and faced Bo, "What the fuck does that mean? When did you believe he might be Stefano?"

"You need to talk to Marlena," Bo said.

"No...no, you need to talk to me."

Bo sighed, frustrated with himself for somehow managing to get himself involved in Roman's dysfunction, "Look, Roman, this really is a conversation to have with Marlena. I don't know all of it, and I don't want to tell you something that might not be true. I can only say what I thought I saw...and before she thought John was you, she cared about him. Maybe, she loved him. So, talk to your wife, man."