𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 ✔

Chapter Nineteen

But in all honesty her grasp was far too tight and her leash far too short if she had hoped to witness our true potential anytime soon. Because if she kept down that path, all she was going to end up doing was unintentionally sending home all of the kindhearted and softer girls. In turn leaving her and Thomas with only the ruthless and compassionless, and they had agendas of their own. Unless that was the type of girls she wanted in the first place, which then I'd say she was doing a great job of making that so.

Despite all that, I did, however, understand why she had tested us by sharing the very sensitive knowledge of the attacks at the walls. It was a calculated risk on her part, well not much a risk when she was more than ready to pounce the instant someone slipped up. But in doing so, it allowed her to weed out any of the girls who were incapable of keeping their mouths shut. Gossiping was one thing, we all did it, but being known for being a gossip was another. Everyone talks, but there was a thin line that needed not be crossed when the safety and security of a kingdom rested in the balance.

Though, I did hope that the next time we met she would have shed more light on that subject. The viscountess had mentioned the incidents had become more coordinated, more deadly, in the last few years. The question that had been asked was why had they happened, but the one that needed to have been asked was how.

There could have been a plethora of reasons for why the rouges had been attempting to breach the walls, some of those being obvious. But if it had taken them, let's say, seven years to actually worry the nobles to the point of sending the heir of the kingdom to assess the recent damages, then something had to have changed.

I kicked my feet back and forth as I rolled my neck side to side, it cracking in response. "Perhaps Henry would have the answers I seek, though it will be quite a while before I could even ask him about what he has discovered at the wall." I thought to myself. "Well, no, because by the time he returns, the queen would have surely answered them all herself."

I started to go through my usual ritual of popping every poppable joint in my body. Starting with my wrists, then fingers, on to my back and ankles when I heard a soft giggle come from in front of me. My face flushed out of embarrassment as I quickly opened my eyes to find a dazzling smile looking back at me.

"Do you always do that?" Thomas asked, eyes slowly looking me up and down.

"In fact, I do." I chuckled at the innocent curiosity plastered all over his handsomely chiseled face. "Usually after being cooped up in a room an hour or so. As well as being resigned to sit in a rather uncomfortable chair or stand awkwardly throughout that time."

"I see, mother invited you all to her court today then." He strode over to join me on the lip of the fountain. "How impossibly boring was it?"

"Not so much, I found it rather enlightening." I smiled back.

Something about him was different, and despite his jokes, he seemed genuinely interested in my day. There was a softness about him that I had not had the pleasure of seeing until then and it was hard to keep my eyes off of him.

"Oh?" He playfully cocked his head to the side, "Do tell, what was it exactly about what mother had to say that was so enlightening?"

"If I tell you then I might be thrown in the dungeons, or. . ." I dramatically paused, "quite possibly killed."

"That serious, huh?" He leaned back, arms propped behind him to keep him from falling, "What made you come all the way out here to do all that popping and cracking with your bones?"

"Just needed to clear my head and absorb some of the things that I have been told." I looked up at the sky, watching as the fluffy white clouds passed overhead. "What brings you out here?"

"The same as you, I suppose." There was a hint of emptiness in his words. "Father's been harder on me since Henry left. Asking me to step up and take over my brother's duties while he sees to matters elsewhere." He sighed, then muttered so softly that I almost didn't catch what he had said, "Like I could ever replace his favorite."

Part of me felt bad for Thomas because I too understood what it had felt like to be the inferior child. Though I doubted his father viewed him as harshly as my parents had me. However, that was not for me to know or assume, and as such his feelings were still valid, and I felt sorry for him. No one deserved to be made to feel less than by anyone, especially by their parents.

I looked back over at him to see what kind of emotions had shown on his face, only to find his icy blue eyes peering back at me. We sat there for a moment, eyes locked, as we silently gazed upon one another. I felt something flutter in my chest right before he quickly looked away and abruptly ended our quiet moment.

It was the first time I had gotten to actually connect with him on a more emotional and personal level. The calmness in his tone, the comforting honesty and easiness of it all was shocking. Something I had started to fear I'd never get to see. But it was exactly what I had been wanting from him and he finally delivered.

And in that moment a thought had crossed my mind. I wondered if perhaps my infatuation with Henry had been formed simply on the basis of him having been the first man I had ever connected with on a personal level.

Maybe I took his friendly kindness as something more than what it was and twisted it into a romantic fantasy of my own making. Or possibly it was less of him being a man, and more of him being the first person, other than Cordelia, to be so warm and inviting to me after I had gone most of my life being neglected and simply looked over by others.

Whatever the reason had been for Henry being at the forefront of my mind, I knew that it had to stop before I had gotten too attached. Which, with him being gone, and Thomas starting to warm up to me and show sides of himself that I had been longing to see, I thought that I might have been able to finally let go of that fantasy before Henry had returned.

Though I knew all of that had been much easier said than done.