Living As a Survivor is Hard (Villains Are Destined to Die fanfic)

Siyeon Arrives at the Luncheon

Her family's threat quickly made her realize she didn't have much of a choice, so she hesitantly accepted the invitation. She'd rather go on her own two feet than be dragged there on her knees.

She would never give them the satisfaction of seeing her weak ever again. Not if she could help it.

Unfortunately, she didn't realize how soon the luncheon would be. The butler informed her it was tomorrow and that a chauffeur would pick her up the next day at around noon. She was in shock when the butler was talking to her and sort of had a mental block; she wasn't quite processing what he was saying.

Unlike other people, it took her longer to process her thoughts and emotions. It wasn't until she went back into her room that it hit her like a semi truck. She became upset that the few hours' notice didn't give her much time to prepare at all. She was pacing now as she tried to make sense of her thoughts.

They are so inconsiderate! They should've asked for my availability before setting the date and time for this luncheon! She thought angrily to herself. It's a good thing tomorrow is the weekend or I wouldn't be able to go due to classes.

The audacity of these man-babies!

Soon, her anger morphed into anxiety. After realizing she was going to meet her "family" again in just a few short hours, her body went into flight-or-fight mode. She couldn't seem to calm down from the adrenaline rush and all her stress. Perhaps that's why when she tried to sleep that night, her body wouldn't let her rest.

She was left feeling exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Her mind kept racing with the worst possible scenarios. She imagined her family luring her in with a false sense of security, then trapping her and never letting her leave that hell ever again.

Even just thinking of it now sent chills down her spine.

After remembering that, the fear began to dissipate, and the anger returned. She couldn't help but feel angry at this blatant harassment by her family. After all, she lived independently without any type of support from them for a long time; Why did they think that she owed them her presence or time? And the fact that they threatened to drag her there too as if she were an object!

It finally clicked for her that she was just an object to them. Her consent did not matter to them; they just wanted to exert control over her in any way they could.

She wrapped her arms around herself as tears spilled down her cheeks. Why am I always seen as less than human? Don't my feelings matter?

She could never be truly free of them.

Not unless she died.

She jolted at that sudden dark thought. She wouldn't describe herself as suicidal, but she just wanted to be at peace. She had lived her entire life in survival mode, looking for danger in everyone and everything. She was so, so tired of it! She just wanted to be happy, not anxious or depressed every second of every day.

Sometimes, it seemed that death was the easiest way to accomplish that.

No, she quickly told herself as she dug her nails into her palm hard enough to draw blood. The pain of it brought her out of her thoughts and back to reality. You worked so hard to get into college. You also have two sweet friends. Don't throw it all away now just because of those bastards!

She wiped her tears away and decided to distract herself from her scary thoughts by being productive. She didn't have any good coping mechanisms except pouring all of her energy into her schoolwork. Once again, she stayed up late working on future assignments for her classes. Just as she did the night before. It didn't help her mentally, but at least it took her mind off what was stressing her momentarily.