5 Books For Eveline

23

23

Several more shops passed in a blur and, eventually, Purdy found herself walking back to where Briar had parked Chloe, carrying a number of bags in one hand. Briar had more, of course, but Purdy wasn't entirely certain how she had come to have bought anything, let alone the number of items that now sat within those bags.

As Briar unlocked the hatchback door, tossing all her bags inside with abandon, Purdy waited her turn and then spent a couple of moments rearranging Briar's bags and placing her own beside them. Now everything looked far tidier and that pleased Purdy. Briar shook her head and slammed the door down. Then slammed it a few more times until the latch caught, locking the door closed.

"See! Shopping! It cannot be beaten." Opening the driver's side door, wincing at the painful squeak, Briar pointed her keys towards Purdy, emphasising her points with a prod towards Purdy each time. "Feeling sad? Shopping. Feeling happy? Shopping. Somewhere in the middle? Shopping. And if you're not certain how you feel ..."

"Shopping?" With a knowing smirk, Purdy opened the passenger door and began the process of folding herself into the seat, using her hands to swivel her leg inside.

"No! Wine if you're not certain! What are you like?" Bouncing into the driver's seat, Briar thrust the key into the ignition and twisted. The engine turned over, but did not start. "Only kidding. Of course it's shopping. And wine. Shopping and wine. Oh! If only I could do both at the same time!"

Slamming the accelerator down a few times, Briar turned the key once more and yelped in triumph as Chloe's engine rumbled into life. She patted and rubbed the dashboard, telling the car it was a 'good girl', before torturing it into gear, setting off and then remembering her seat belt. Purdy, having been in the car once, already, had put her seat belt on as soon as she could.

As Chloe sputtered and barked its way out of the city, Purdy had to admit to herself that she had enjoyed this day out. Given half a chance, Briar had turned out as a good companion. Of course, she had pressed the issue of the past, caused Purdy to cry and called Purdy a bitch again, but, apart from that, Purdy had enjoyed herself. She had enjoyed herself quite a lot.

"I can't remember the last time I had fun. Thank you. I mean that." Purdy gripped the dashboard as Chloe made a sudden slide to the side, but Briar caught the slide and straightened the car up. "I'll be even more happy to get back alive, though."

"Oh, stop whinging! Chloe will get us there. Probably safely, too." Briar gave a tiny, mischievous glance towards Purdy at that, then the look changed to a more thoughtful one. "Listen, I know I came close to blowing it earlier, talking about the past, but I'm still wondering about some stuff. Like, do you think you'll ever remember? Will this version of you, Purdy two-point-oh, disappear and the old you come back if you do remember?"

Purdy didn't have an answer for that second question. She had spent more than a few hours of her life wondering the same thing. It wasn't as though she held any fondness for the personality she had now. As Briar had put it, she came across as miserable and sullen. If anyone had a choice, few would live like she did.

As to her previous personality. She had no recollection of it. Not even a shred of her previous self remained in her mind. Nothing that she could mentally point to and say, for certain, that that was part of pre-accident Purdy. She wasn't certain what kind of personality she once had, but she knew the one she had now. If she did revert to the old one, would she miss this version of her?

"The doctors can't be certain if I'll ever regain my memories." Thinking back to the many consultations, Purdy fidgeted with the head of her walking stick, fingernails tracing the ridges and clefts of the engraving. "I damaged my brain, sure, but they said it didn't explain the memory loss and wondered whether it was psychosomatic. That my subconscious had suppressed all my memories as a defence mechanism against accepting the guilt from what I had done. Killed my entire family."